


When It Helps, When It Hurts

by cocksandcapua



Category: Spartacus Series (TV), Spartacus: Vengeance, Spartacus: War of the Damned
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Cheating, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, Hand Jobs, M/M, Oral Sex, Rough Sex, Sexual Content, Sexy Times, Straight!Agron
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-01-16
Updated: 2016-10-09
Packaged: 2018-01-08 00:24:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 54,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1126166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cocksandcapua/pseuds/cocksandcapua
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Agron is happily married to Saxa and together they have a son. His job is great and he is living the dream, until one life-changing night where he attends his friend's bachelor party. Agron's world is turned upside down when he meets the bride's best friend, Nasir. Because Agron is straight. Right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Strangers Meeting

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Underneath Your Clothes](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/34140) by klairy-dust. 



> This story is inspired by the Kurt/Blaine fan fiction "Underneath Your Clothes" by klairy-dust, because it is one of the best fan fictions I have ever read. It is unfortunately not completed and I fear it never will be. I love the idea of straight!Agron in denial and so I had to write it, much inspired by klairy-dust's. The first chapter in particular is based on "Underneath Your Clothes".

"It'll be fine, babe. Just for God's sake, do not pick a fight with him," Saxa said and pressed the off-button on the flat-iron. She handed the white dress-shirt over to her husband, the fabric warm and straight in her hands.

Agron was busy rolling the lint remover on his suit pants, before he took the shirt from Saxa's hands, "Thanks, honey." He sighed deeply, not particularly excited about spending his Saturday night in the company of Crixus at the man's bachelor party. "And I know. And I won't. I'm happy for that shithead Crixus. Naevia is really great. I just really don't want to party in his honor tonight. I'd rather be with you," Agron pouted as if a child, his lips pursed and a deep frown on his forehead as his hands were buttoning the shirt.

"You are impossible," Saxa laughed as she watched Agron's reflection and his pouted face. The sound of her laugh caused the man to grin, his dimples on display as he watched his wife in the mirror.

He got his black tie from the closet and turned around towards Saxa. "Will you help me with this, baby?"

"Sure," she answered and took the tie from his hands. She put it around his neck under his collar and began to tie the knot.

Agron was watching her intently, her face contorted in concentration. Her long, blonde hair was casually done in a high ponytail and she was dressed in sweatpants and a tank top, but god, she was beautiful. Always.

He had met Saxa in Germany eight years ago. They had both been students of economics at the University of Munich and fell in love almost instantly. Agron had been attracted from the first moment he had laid eyes on the wild lioness, confidence radiating off her and a fire within her to rival the sun itself. He knew he had to have her.

They had been inseparable from the start and when the opportunity for a semester at an Australian university arose they went together. They had enjoyed their time in Queensland so much, so when they finished their degrees in Munich, they got married and moved Down Under permanently.

"There. All done," Saxa said and embraced her husband, her hands grasping the back of his neck. Agron placed his hands on her waist and leaned down to nuzzle her neck.

"Can't I just stay home and make love to you all night?" Agron whispered in Saxa's ear before he claimed her lips in a passionate kiss.

"Well, I wouldn't oppose to that," Saxa smirked when she withdrew. She ran her hands down Agron's shirt-clad chest and abdomen, before their lips met in another kiss.

"Mama. Papa," a small voice sounded from the doorway. Agron and Saxa parted with a laugh.

"Oh hey, daddy's beautiful baby boy," Agron said as he swept Duro up in his arms. "Aren't you supposed to be in bed? I know for a fact that mommy just tucked you in."

He tapped the little boy on the nose as Duro scratched at his sleepy eyes with a clenched hand.

"But I'm not sleepy!" Duro exclaimed. "You look so handsome, daddy." Small hands played with Agron's slim black tie. Agron laughed and exchanged looks with Saxa.

"And you're the best little boy in the world, aren't you?" Agron said as he turned his attention back to the four year old in his arms. He put a gentle hand on top of Duro's head and ruffled the little boy's dark curls. "But be good to mommy, now, alright?"

"I will," the boy sighed. "But daddy, please tuck me in before you go?"

-

When Agron had tucked in Duro he went to the living room, where Saxa had settled on the couch to watch her favorite food program.

When Saxa saw that her husband was ready to leave, she got up and moved over to him.

"All set. I read him a story and he fell asleep before I got to the second page," Agron laughed as he pulled on his suit jacket.

"He's such a daddy's boy," Saxa smirked and shook her head. Once she found herself in her husband's embrace again she rested her head on his chest. "But you really do look handsome, though. I'm so happy it's an all man's party, so no one'll snatch you away from me," she looked up and stood on her toes to kiss him.

Agron immediately reciprocated the kiss. "No woman could ever take me from you," he said and pressed their foreheads together.

He lightly kissed her nose. "It won't be late, I promise."

-

All the guys from work were supposed to meet up at a fancy restaurant down town and Agron was seemingly the last to arrive at the party. He had parked his car close to their office building, knowing it would be safe there, and walked the rest of the way. When he entered the restaurant it was filled with boisterous men, all of them someone he recognized.

"Agron," Crixus stated as he greeted him in the door.

"Crixus," Agron simply nodded. They shook hands and Crixus laughed. "Come here, you fool," he pulled him into a hug and Agron reciprocated.

Agron and Crixus had known each other for five years, ever since Agron got the job in the financial department at the large medical firm, where they both worked. Their relationship had been tense from the beginning, their personalities and tempers just clashing. They had managed to be professional around each other for most of the time, but Agron had always thought Crixus to be a dumb fuck and Crixus considered Agron a goddamn fool.

"Congrats, man. Naevia is amazing," Agron said and smiled as he drew back. She really had done wonders for Crixus. He was a completely changed man and he and Agron could now tolerate each other somewhat more than before she came into the picture.

"She really is," Crixus said, his entire bearded face lighting up in a smile. "Come on, all the guys are here."

Agron greeted Spartacus, Gannicus, Donar, Lugo, Rhaskos, Oenomaus and all the other guys from the office. Everyone seemed to be in a good mood and beer was flowing all around.

"And this is Nasir," Crixus said and gestured to a little man with long, black hair, some of it braided away from his face. The dark-skinned man was dressed in a white dress-shirt, the fabric clinging to his body and the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, revealing subtly muscular forearms. His dark pants were fitted unhealthily tight and his bowtie was coloured in a dark blue. "He is Naevia's best friend and he is the only one here who's not from our firm. He does not know how crazy shits we can be, so be good to him, alright?" Crixus laughed and patted Agron on the shoulder before he left to break words with Spartacus.

"I’m Agron," Agron smiled politely and they shook hands.

“Good to meet you,” this man, _Nasir_ , said and gave a broad smile in return, his brown eyes sparkling.

“Likewise,” Agron nodded and suddenly felt uncomfortable under the small man’s gaze. “Well, uh… Shall we sit?” Agron said and gestured to the long table set for them.

-

Dinner was delicious. Spartacus was Crixus' best man and he had secured them a secluded room, which was probably for the best because they laughed and talked and were loud as fuck, and Agron loved every one of them. He was on his third beer and second glass of red wine or was it also the third?

They talked about what Crixus was heading into in marriage. Since all the guys around the table had wives they were able to tell stories from married life, some scary but most wonderful. Gannicus had his beautiful Sibyl, Spartacus was happily married to Sura, Rhaskos had Chadara, and Donar and Mira just got married last spring. Lugo had been married to his Betty since forever, and Oenomaus tied the knot with Melitta two years ago. The guys soon realized that the only single left at the table was Naevia's friend, Nasir.

"Oh, don't you worry, little man, we're gonna find you a woman and get you laid tonight," Agron bellowed and lifted his glass of wine in cheers. "What do you like, hm? You like blondes? My wife is blond. So beautiful," Agron said in a low, seductive voice as he put his arm around Nasir's shoulder.

"Agron, you stupid fuck, Nasir is gay," Crixus roared and everyone around the table laughed.

"Oh, shit. Sorry, man," Agron quickly withdrew his arm as if he had been burnt.

"It's fine," Nasir laughed and their eyes met. "I actually prefer brunettes," he winked and Agron cleared his throat and looked away.

The party soon changed scenes when the guys crammed together in cabs and headed to a nearby club. Agron quickly sent a text to let Saxa know where they were going and that he wouldn’t stay long.

The club was packed with people dancing, sweating and drinking and Agron was far too drunk to think that he was too fucking old for this shit.

Spartacus and Gannicus went straight for the bar to get liquorice shots for everyone, while Agron and the others secured a table for them all in a dark corner. The table was encompassed by a nice round leather couch and after shedding his suit jacket Agron sat down next to Nasir, who seemed to be in deep conversation with Lugo.

When Spartacus and Gannicus returned with shots they crammed down in the couch next to Agron so that the tall German had to scoot closer to Nasir. Their thighs were touching and Agron looked at Nasir with an apologetic smile. Nasir smiled back, all teeth and sparkly eyes, and Agron had trouble breathing.

What the fuck was it about this man and that fucking smile?

They all clinked their small glasses in cheers, downed their shots and ordered another round.

Agron engaged in conversation with Nasir, their heads close and voices loud to drown out the music. Agron learned that Nasir was 24, originated from Syria and was an art student with Naevia.

Agron told Nasir about Saxa and Duro and his relationship with Crixus, the latter causing Nasir to laugh. Agron found he liked the little man's laugh. It was genuine.

“Alright, guys, dance floor! Now! Come on Agron, you’re not getting out of this,” Crixus interrupted them with a loud shout as he got up, his finger pointing at Agron.

Nasir placed a reassuring hand on Agron’s thigh and squeezed lightly. Agron tensed completely and looked questioningly at Nasir, the touch just a bit too intimate for Agron's liking. The Syrian just smiled at him before he got up and went for the dance floor. Agron swiftly followed.

Agron was no fucking dancer. Not a sober dancer, that is. Everyone’s a dancer when drunk. He was having the time of his life dancing crazy with Gannicus and Donar, sharing drunken hugs and attempting famous dance moves, failing miserably. He didn’t know how long they stayed on the dance floor. Minutes? Hours?

The group of guys scattered after some time all over the floor, some went back to their table, others for the bar.

Agron spotted Nasir in the crowd of dancing people and their eyes immediately met. Agron just watched him for a few moments. The other man was a good dancer, Agron thought. He danced with confidence and sex appeal, moving his hips from side to side in a way Agron had never seen another man dance before. Nasir offered another one of those damn broad smiles that lit up his face and Agron thought that a proper excuse for his earlier behaviour at the restaurant was in its place. It was the worst first impression ever and Agron did not wish to be on the little man's bad side for being a loud dumbass. They could be friends, right? Nasir seemed like a really nice guy, relaxed and confident about his sexuality and Agron kind of admired him for it.

He made his way over to him and before he knew it they were so close that their bodies were touching, heat radiating off them. Agron leaned down to Nasir’s ear, “Hey, man. Sorry about earlier, I just assumed that you’re… you know, straight and I humiliated you in front of everyone. I was a real jerk,” Agron yelled over the music, his hand clasping the other man’s elbow.

"Don't worry about it, big guy," Nasir yelled back and withdrew from their closeness to provide Agron with a reassuring smile.

Agron gave him a dimpled grin in return. It was nice and relaxed and they danced together for a while to a poptune Agron was familiar with.

Agron's vision was kind of blurry and all the dancing had made him grasp just how drunk he in fact was. He felt hands on his hips and just then realized how close he and Nasir once again was. But it was nice. Friends dance close all the time. They were sharing smiles and having fun, no harm done.

It was not until Nasir turned around and swayed his hips to the music that Agron froze. Nasir’s ass was so close to his crotch and Agron had suddenly no idea where to put his hands. He felt a wave of nausea wash over him and left the dance floor in a rush without looking back at Nasir.

When Agron returned to the table, the other guys were roaring and laughing loudly, cheering in yet another round of shots.

“I’m going home now, guys. I feel sick and I promised Saxa it wouldn’t be too late,” Agron excused and retrieved his suit jacket from the couch.

“Alright, lightweight. We’re going to a strip club,” Gannicus said and high-fived Donar.

Agron said his goodbyes and was relieved when he made his way to the bathrooms. He was tired and embarrassingly drunk and was probably going to fall asleep in the cab home. He just really needed to pee first.

The line to the bathroom stalls was dreadfully long and Agron fished out his phone with a sigh. No reply from Saxa. She was probably asleep.

When Agron had relieved himself he sought towards the club's exit, but the line to the bathrooms had doubled while he had been in there and there was a sea of people, some waiting to enter the bathrooms, others wanting to leave them and a another mass of people pushing their way to the exit.

Agron squeezed himself along the wall, when someone was pushed against him, a sharp chin going into his chest.

"Shit, sorry..." He heard the man say and Agron immediately recognized the voice.

He looked down and saw it was Nasir, their bodies now pressed completely close, as they had been on the dance floor, while someone were shoving their way through the crowd behind Nasir.

“Hey! Oh, are you going home?” Nasir asked with his eyebrows lifted. He sounded... dissapointed?

“Yeah, I’m tired and I had too much to drink,” Agron said, his eyes never leaving Nasir’s. His body was completely tense from having the other man pressed so close to him yet again. It made him uncomfortable, yet something was awoken within him. He no longer felt tired. The bass from the music was throbbing and it felt as though his heart was beating out of his chest.

“So no strip for you?” Nasir smirked.

Agron laughed at that, "No. Another time, maybe. What about you, I guess seeing women taking off their clothes doesn’t really do it for you, huh?” He winked and Nasir blushed. _Cute._

“No,” Nasir smiled and looked down. When he looked up again Agron was surprised to see how dark his eyes had gotten, his pupils completely dilated. “I’d much rather see you take off your clothes,” he purred and put his hands on Agron's hips again, his thumb stroking the soft cotton of his shirt.

Agron inhaled sharply by the touch. It felt rough, the cotton stroking against his skin as if it was sandpaper. Everything just felt like _more_.

When Agron came to himself he moved his hands down on top of Nasir's and gently removed them, "Hey, back off, man. I’m not gay,” Agron said, but his own voice sounded far away, as if it had not been himself speaking those words.

“I’ve seen you looking at me all night,” Nasir whispered as he invaded Agron’s space once more. “And I’ve been looking at you. You’re so hot.” This time, for some reason he could not yet put into words, Agron didn’t push him away.

Nasir placed his hands on Agron’s strong chest and Agron found himself mesmerized by Nasir’s plumb lips, parted slightly in a gasp by the feel of muscle underneath his hands.

People were huffing at them as they pushed their way behind them, but Agron could only focus on the man in front of him and those _lips_.

“I’m not- I’m not gay,” Agron whispered, his voice shaky.

“Yeah… you are,” Nasir murmured and stood up on his toes to bite and lick at Agron’s neck.

Agron took in another sharp breath as his eyes rolled back into his head. His pants were getting uncomfortably tight and he cursed under his breath at his own body betraying him.

“I-I… I have a wife,” he attempted but knew it was a lost cause for him. He was too far gone on this man, too fucking horny now to stop.

“Never stopped gay guys before,” Nasir said with a smug grin as he slid one of his hands down to palm Agron’s rapidly swelling cock through his pants.

With a growl Agron switched their positions and pushed Nasir up against the wall. He had minimal space to do so, but managed anyway. He looked down at the little man for a moment, “Fuck,” he then whispered and leaned down to kiss Nasir.

When their lips met Agron saw fireworks. Nasir’s lips were so soft and full and when Agron pushed his tongue inside the other man’s mouth, he could taste liquorice and beer.

Nasir moaned into the kiss and grasped the back of Agron's head with one hand and the small of his back with the other to press their bodies closer.

Agron bit at Nasir's lower lip and rolled his hips to brush their clothed erections against each other. They both gasped at the friction, panting into each other's mouths. Agron's head was spinning and his skin felt as if it was on fire, oversensitive to touch.

“Please leave with me,” Nasir begged when he pulled back completely to breathe, his lips kiss-swollen.

“Where do we go?” Agron simply asked.

-

As soon as they got inside the hotel room Agron pushed Nasir up against the door, closing it shut. Their kisses were messy and frantic as they desperately tugged each other's shirts open and pulled them off their shoulders.

"Fuck, Agron, you're so hot," Nasir gasped as he ran his hands down Agron's now exposed chest. "I want you inside me so bad."

"Wh-what?" Agron asked breathlessly as he, confused and drunk, simply watched as Nasir leaned forward and bit lightly at his nipple before twirling his tongue around the pink, hard flesh.

Nasir said nothing, just kissed his way down Agron's chest and fell to his knees to start tugging desperately at Agron's belt buckle. Agron followed Nasir's every movement with his eyes, his lungs threatening to escape his body.

"I'm not- I'm not gay," Agron attempted again, his voice barely a whisper.

"Oh yeah you are, your cock is already so big and hard for me," Nasir smirked as he zipped down Agron's pants and pulled out his leaking cock and finally, _finally_ took it in his mouth.

"Fuck... I'm not... Oh god... Fuck yeah..." The words died on Agron's lips as Nasir blew him with an expertise Agron had never experienced before.

The Syrian let his tongue play with the cock-head before he licked a stripe up against a pulsating vein. He took the entire cock in his mouth and bobbed his head a few times, his tongue dragging along the length. Agron wanted so badly to thrust into the other man's hot mouth but knew if he did so it would all be over too soon.

"Get up," Agron said, his voice rough and dripping with lust. He took Nasir by the shoulders to yank him up before he attacked the little man's lips. He could taste himself on Nasir's tongue, the salty pre-cum making him moan into the kiss.

"I need... I need you to not be so fucking clothed," Agron panted as he drew back from the kiss to open Nasir's pants. He moved them over to the bed while shedding the smaller man of all his clothing.

When Nasir stood completely naked before him Agron could no longer resist the sweet-smelling skin of the smaller man's neck and he needed to bury himself in the crook where shoulder met neck. He did so and the sighs and gasps that fell from Nasir's mouth made him never want to leave that place.

Agron was kissing and biting at the sensitive skin, licking to soothe whenever he bit down hard. His cock was brushing Nasir's and their moans were echoing in the small hotel room.

Agron slid his hands down Nasir's back and further to grope roughly at the other man's round, firm ass. The thought of being inside that ass had Agron gasping for breath and he had to squeeze hard at the base of his cock to calm himself down.

When Agron lost his patience he pushed Nasir lightly on the chest to indicate that he needed him on the bed, _now_.

"Turn the fuck around," Agron growled as he got on his knees on the bed and saw that Nasir had moved to lie on his back.

"So bossy, Mr. Straight Man. That really turns me on," Nasir smirked and did as he was told.

Agron suddenly felt dizzy when he looked down at Nasir's round ass cheeks and muscular thighs dusted with dark hair. It was so _masculine_ and Agron was sure he had never been this aroused in his life. He was drunk as fuck, shouldn't it be harder to get so fucking hard?

Nasir leaned over to the side of the bed and reached for his pants on the floor. He pulled out two small packages from the pocket and threw them at Agron before he went back to his previous position with his ass bared and his back arched.

"Oh god, we're really doing this," Agron said as he picked up the bottle of lube and turned it in his hand before he popped open the cap.

"Yeah, come on, big guy. Show me how straight guys fuck," Nasir looked over his shoulder, smirked and winked at Agron, his long black hair falling down his lithe yet strong shoulders.

Agron coated his fingers in lube, not really knowing what the fuck he was doing, before he slowly pushed one finger inside Nasir. Nasir hissed at the initial intrusion but was soon fucking himself back onto Agron's finger, encouraging him to add another. Agron did so and yet another, reveling in the tightness and heat surrounding his fingers. Nasir was panting and moaning loudly, grinding his cock down on the sheets for some much-needed friction.

"I can't wait any longer, I'm gonna fucking come right here and now and I don't want that without your cock buried deep in me," Nasir purred and pushed the condom on the bed closer to Agron.

Agron withdrew his fingers and grabbed the tiny silver package. "What the fuck am I doing?" He whispered to himself as he turned the square foil wrap between his fingers. He could no longer ignore his overwhelming desire and without further hesitation he pushed his pants and boxer briefs down to the middle of his thighs to fully release his cock from its restraints.

"Are you gonna fuck me or not?" The man before him asked, clearly impatient.

"Shut the fuck up," Agron snarled as he ripped the condom package open with his teeth. He rolled the condom onto his achingly hard cock with trembling hands and lined himself up by the smaller man's entrance.

Nasir was so fucking sassy and oh god so _sexy_ and fuck, he was about to fuck this man.

"Oh yeah, fuck me, I want you so bad..." Nasir moaned and with that Agron slid inside him, balls deep, in one swift move that made them both cry out.

"Fuck, you're big," Nasir gasped and rested his head on his forearm.

Agron quickly determined a merciless rhythm and pounded into Nasir, faster, harder. Nasir was clutching the sheets beneath them, his knuckles turning white as he moaned loudly.

"Fuck, so tight. You're so fucking tight..." Agron nearly sobbed, his hands forcefully gripping at the taut flesh of Nasir's hips, his fingers digging in and leaving bruises.

Nasir was almost _too_ tight and with the way his asshole was clenching around Agron's cock, it was almost impossible to move inside him. But it was perfect. So warm, so _good._

Nasir then turned his head to seek out Agron's lips in a kiss, but no way in hell was Agron going to kiss him. Not again. He placed his hand on Nasir's head and forced it roughly away from his own face with a growl.

Instead Nasir reached behind Agron with one hand to grab at his ass and angle him better and with his other hand he began to jerk himself off and shit, it was the sexiest thing Agron had ever seen, the muscles in Nasir's arm flexing by the movement.

"Agron, don't stop... Fuck me, fuck me!" Nasir whined as his hand stroked himself faster. Agron obeyed and fucked into Nasir as fast and rough as he could, his hips paining from the constant forceful contact they made with the other man’s ass.

Few seconds passed before Nasir groaned lustfully and spurted his seed all over his hand and the sheets.

"I'm not gay... I'm not gay..." Agron whispered through gritted teeth, his eyes squeezed shut as the overwhelming pleasure seized him. He was raking his short fingernails down Nasir's back, leaving long red scratches in their wake.

"I can tell," Nasir laughed breathlessly, still high from his orgasm.

"Fuck you," Agron growled and pulled his cock all the way out before slamming his hips forward again, driving back in with such a force it shook the bed and made Nasir whimper.

When Agron came deep inside Nasir, he saw stars and white light and his mind went blank. He had never ever had an orgasm that powerful in his entire life.

He collapsed forward onto Nasir, his sweaty chest on Nasir's back and his nose buried in the soft strands of black hair. They were both breathing heavily for a moment, before realisation dawned on Agron.

He pulled out fast and carelessly, drawing a hiss and a silently muttered "Jackass" from Nasir. But _fuck._

"Fuck. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck," Agron was panicking as he got up from the bed. He pulled off the condom, tied it and threw it somewhere on the floor before quickly pulling his pants from the middle of his thighs up around his hips. "Fuck. What the fuck just happened?" He muttered as he with shaking hands zipped up and buckled his belt. He ran a hand through his hair and then buttoned his shirt quickly, suddenly feeling extremely sick. Saxa's face flashed before his eyes, his beautiful wife whom he had just cheated on. With another man.

Nasir reclined in bed, gloriously naked with a blissed out look on his face. Agron chanced a glance at him and his breath caught in his throat; Nasir was so fucking gorgeous. Miles of dark skin with strong muscle underneath, full lips and big brown eyes following every movement of the frantic man before him. His dark stubble was so sexy, and he was so delicate but in a masculine way and for a brief second Agron considered getting back into bed with him...

No. _What the fuck!_

Their eyes met and Agron quickly looked away and shook himself out of it. He slipped on his jacket and pulled out his wallet from the inner pocket, grasping a few bills and throwing them at the bed for Nasir.

"Hey, I'm no fucking whore!" Nasir sat up in bed, anger flashing in his eyes.

"No, I- I fucking know that, it's not for..." Agron trailed off as he gestured at the bed with his hand, "...that. It's for the room, okay? And we never fucking speak of this again, you hear me?" Agron said, his shirt buttoned completely askew as he looked nervously around the room.

As if to make sure no one heard them, Agron took one step closer to the bed and lowered his voice. His expression softened. "I'm not... I'm not queer, alright?"

Without giving Nasir time to reply he hurried out of the hotel room, the door slamming loudly behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have never been to either Munich or Queensland, so my info on the universities I got from a google search.


	2. When Dealing With The Insane, Pretend To Be Sane

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Agron's dealing.

When Agron stumbled out into the deserted streets tears were already wetting his cheeks. He was heaving for breath and his feet had trouble carrying him.

He had no idea what time it was, but the rising sun indicated that he had been in that hotel room with Nasir for longer than he thought.

Or maybe they just left the club really late, Agron didn't know. That part was kind of a blur.

Agron had to stop and support himself against the wall he was walking along. His legs were wavering and his head felt like it was going to explode.

Alcohol, disgust and guilt overwhelmed him at once, and when Agron turned to rest his forehead on the wall he threw up the contents of his stomach. His eyes and nose were running as he sobbed uncontrollably, his hands high above his head on the wall to keep him standing. 

He cried out as he drew back his arm and slammed his clenched fist into the hard concrete. He thought he heard something crack in his hand but the pain was not immediate.

"Dude, are you okay?" Someone asked cautiously behind him and Agron could hear footsteps getting closer.

"Get the fuck away from me," he said in a voice he hoped was loud enough for them to hear. Everything was throbbing, straight from his cock to his ears and he could barely hear his own words. 

"He's an asshole, let's get outta here," Agron heard another voice say, a girl, but he didn't bother to look up. If only they would go away.

"Fine, fine..." Retreating footsteps and dying voices. Agron let out a relieved sigh. 

"A cab... I gotta find a cab," he whispered, his eyes closed as he took in a deep breath. He tried to steady himself on his feet and when he felt safe enough to walk, he stumbled out towards the road. 

When he managed to pull a taxi over by a wave of his arm, he somehow found the strength to almost run to the passenger's side as the driver scrolled down the window. Agron got his hands on the half open window and clutched it hard as if it was the only thing keeping him earthbound. His face contorted in a frown when he saw how feverishly the driver was shaking his head, a disgusted expression on his face.

"You got puke down shirt! No way you in my cab!" He spoke with a thick accent.

"Please, sir. _Please,_ " Agron pleaded, "I don't live far from here. I won't throw up in your car, I feel much better now. _Please!_ "

Tears were falling again. Agron only knew by the taste of salt in his mouth as he spoke. The man in the car seemed willing to take pity on him, because his expression softened at Agron's plea. 

"Fine," the driver said with an exasperated sigh. "Get in. But if you mess up my car, I charge you extra 100 bucks!" 

Agron nodded his consent as he got into the backseat.

He had no idea how to deal from now on. He was going home to Saxa. He needed a shower, badly. Maybe then she wouldn't smell sex on him, but the guilt would be etched deep in his features, maybe for the rest of his life.

But Agron couldn't think about the rest of his life, he barely knew how to breathe that exact moment as he silently wept in the backseat. Should he sleep on the couch when he got home, or would Saxa then suspect something was wrong? He couldn't bear to lie close to her warm body, spooning her and inhaling the scent of her hair - a scent so different from the black locks he just moments ago had his nose buried in.

He hadn't meant to cheat on her. Not ever. He was not dissatisfied with their relationship, neither sexual nor emotionel. Saxa fulfilled his every desire. Or so he thought, until that fucking Syrian... 

He was pulled out of his thoughts when the taxi driver spoke again, demanding payment. 

Agron grabbed a few bills, the last he had in his wallet, and desperately hoped it would be enough. The driver just rumbled something inaudible low in his throat and nodded, so Agron got out of the car and watched as it drove away.

He tip-toed into the silent house and went straight for the bathroom. He stripped down and tossed his suit on the floor in a corner without much care.

When the scalding water hit his body, he closed his eyes and reveled in the feel of it. His hand was beginning to ache as the alcohol began to leave his body, ceasing the numbing of unwanted sensations. He could barely curl his fingers, but it was a welcomed pain. He deserved to feel pain. 

Left alone yet again with his thoughts, his mind wandered to Nasir. He could not explain the breathtaking attraction he had felt all night towards the other man. Sure, Nasir was beautiful. As beautiful as a woman with soft features, long hair and full lips, but indeed very much a man. 

He had kissed a man. He had had _sex_ with a man.

Agron squeezed his eyes shut in hope that it would prevent fresh tears from falling. He could still taste Nasir's lips on his, the battle of their teasing tongues, could still feel that tongue caressing his cock, could feel the soft hotel sheets on his knees and the other man's rough, desperate hands on his skin.

When he emerged from the shower, he took a look at himself in the mirror. He looked awful, his eyes red and puffy from all the crying and his lips still bruised and swollen from frantic kissing. 

He got his toothbrush from the cabinet and two aspirins. He downed the pills and brushed his teeth as he swayed on his feet, his head and heart heavy in much need of rest. 

He dried himself off and put on his boxer briefs, the same pair he had had on all night, to avoid waking Saxa by getting a clean pair from their bedroom. The suit was picked up and tossed in the washing machine in the utility room, before Agron crashed on the couch, exhausted beyond compare.

He couldn't have slept for more than an hour or two, when someone gently shook his chest. "Baby? Why are you sleeping in here?" Saxa asked in a concerned voice, her warm hand going to rest on Agron's forehead as if checking for fever.

"Hey... Uh..." Agron muttered as he attempted to sit up.

"No, no, don't get up. You obviously feel like shit," Saxa said but she did not sound angry at all. The love and worry in her voice made Agron's eyes burn with new unshed tears.

"I drank way too much and I got sick. I just collapsed on the couch when I got in," Agron stammered awkwardly and pressed his legs together to make room for Saxa to sit. 

"Yet you managed to shower," Saxa smirked as she sat and ran a hand through Agron's soft hair, free of products.

"Yeah..." Agron's throat felt constricted but thankfully Saxa did not demand further explanation. 

"I'll wake up Duro. It's only 7 o'clock, but I can take him to the playground and then to the diner for breakfast. You know how he loves those pancakes with chocolate," Saxa winked. Agron smiled and leaned into the touch of her gentle hand. "You sleep. I'll bring you something back from the diner," she finished and bent down to kiss his forehead. 

She moved to get up, but Agron pulled her back in. "I... I-I love you," he whispered softly, "I really do." He pressed his lips to hers, hoping it would erase all memories of Nasir's lips. 

Saxa pulled back with a laugh, "I know, babe. I love you, too. But Jesus, you smell like a pub", she said and pushed herself off Agron. 

Agron chuckled as he once again got comfortable under the blankets. It felt as though it had been years since a chuckle last slipped past his lips, and it dissapeared as fast as it had emerged. He did not deserve to laugh or feel happiness ever again. He was a liar, a betrayer, a cheater. 

"Is daddy not coming?" Agron heard his boy say, just before sleep claimed him.

"No, daddy is not feeling well," Saxa responded in a hushed voice.

Then, nothing. Just deep, black, momentarily guilt-free sleep. 

-

"Did you get Syrian?" 

Agron's head jerked up, his eyes wide as they sought out Saxa's voice. She was standing in the doorway that separated living room and kitchen, her hands crossed over her chest. 

"Wh-what?" Agron asked, his voice shaky as he could feel the blood drain from his face. He was still groggy, but he surely must have heard wrong. Did she know? No, she couldn't. How could she possibly know? 

Saxa laughed, "I said, _did you get sober again?_ , but I guess not." She moved over to him and placed a brown paper bag on the coffee table. "I got you food," she smiled and leaned down to stroke his cheek soothingly.

"You are too good for me," Agron whispered, his heart hurting. 

"You get so sentimental when you drink," Saxa grinned and shook her head. 

"Daddy, daddy, daddy!" Duro exclaimed as he came running into the living room. He climbed up on the couch to bounce on top of Agron's stomach.

"Hey, baby," Agron said as he pulled the boy into a hug. "Did you have fun with mommy?"

"So much fun! I made sandcakes in the sandbox and mommy ate _all of them_ ," Duro whispered the last part as if it was a secret, and when both boys looked to Saxa she held her stomach as if she was really full from all that cake. 

Duro and Agron laughed in unison, and for a moment Agron sincerely believed that he could forget all about last night and that everything would go back to normal.

-

"Should we go out and get a beer after work?" Donar asked at the lunch table at work the following thursday around noon, "I really need it. It's almost friday and Mira's driving me nuts. I need to get away from home," he sighed with a roll of his eyes. 

All the guys were seated around him in the cafeteria. 'Absolutely's and 'Sure's were muttered at the table through mouths full of food. 

"Maybe we should invite Nasir? It would mean a lot to Naevia if we, you know... took him in. I can text him right now," Crixus suggested and at the other guys' approving nods he fished out his phone from his pocket. 

"No!" Agron exclaimed and all eyes turned torwards him.

"Do you have a problem with Nasir, Agron?" Crixus asked in a threatening tone and Agron had never felt smaller.

"No, I-I... He- He just makes me uncomfortable," Agron shrugged and looked down at his plate as he lazily drove his fork around in his food, suddenly feeling very exposed and embarrased.

Donar took in a sharp breath as if realisation dawned on him, "Did he hit on you?" he asked with an indignant tone of voice. 

"Was he inappropriate or something?" Spartacus added with a deep frown appearing on his forehead. 

Agron feared that if he said yes, Nasir _had_ been inappropriate, Crixus would tell Naevia about it and Naevia would confront Nasir, who most certainly would attempt to defend himself and perhaps even reveal the true story. Agron would not - _could not_ \- let it get out what had happened between him and Nasir.

He looked desperately from Spartacus to Donar to Crixus, who had folded his huge arms across his chest and was shaking his head. 

"No way, Nasir's a nice fucking guy! Are you a fucking homophobe, Agron?" He asked, anger and disgust in his voice, as he leaned forward to rest his elbows on the table. 

Agron lifted his eyes to meet Crixus' searing gaze. The guys around the table had stopped chewing and all attention was on Agron.

"Are you, Agron?" Lugo whispered nervously, as if not to upset the German and Crixus any further. 

"No, ofcourse not!" Agron said in a stern tone, his eyes on Lugo and then back to Crixus'. "I just don't like him, is all!"

"He hasn't said one bad word about you," Crixus retorted with a less angry voice, as he leaned back in his chair again. Now he just sounded like a dissapointed father and Agron felt his insides curl. 

"Wait, has he said anything about me?" Agron immediately inquired, cursing at himself for how desperate and scared he sounded.

"Well, no," Crixus answered with a raised brow and fuck, it was obvious that he had noticed the fear in Agron's voice. He thankfully continued without questioning it, "Not about _you_ in particular. He just said that he had a great time and that he thought you all are very nice guys."

Agron let out a breath of relief - one he hoped would go unnoticed. 

"We should invite the boy," Oenomaus said, forever the calming voice of reason.

"Yeah, I don't see why not," Spartacus argued determinedly. "I got the impression that he's really intelligent and smart and easy to talk to. He's more than welcome to join, if you ask me." 

"Yeah, he should be a part of our group," Gannicus agreed and added, "Besides, he has great hair," with a toss of his own long hair behind his shoulder. Laughter spread around the table and Agron's outburst was forgotten.

_Wrong. He does not just have great hair. He has the most beautiful raven hair, the strands so soft to touch and the scent of it when you bury your nose in it, so intoxicating, so good..._

Agron swallowed hard and knew that if he said anything more to object against the idea, it would raise suspicion. So he simply nodded his head and kept his mouth shut.

When the clock stroke 16 that afternoon and the guys packed up their stuff to head out, Agron came up with an excuse that he had forgotten that he had to pick up Duro.

He was standing with the other guys in the reception, waiting for Crixus at the bottom of the stairs, when he knew he just had to find a way to get out of this beer-drinking with the others and _Nasir._

"... A-and Saxa's sick with the flu... Or something, and I promised that I'd come home and cook for her and the little guy, y'know?" Agron lied with a nervous laugh.

In reality Saxa had picked up Duro from kindergarden around 14 and she'd probably have dinner ready for Agron when he came home, because she was the best wife in the world. She was not sick and would not oppose to Agron having beers with the guys - she never did.

"It's fine, man," Spartacus said and placed a reassuring hand on Agron's shoulder. "Go get your boy."

Agron liked Spartacus the most. They had a loyal, trusting bond. It was hurting Agron that he was lying to Spartacus, but he was lying to everyone. He had to.

"Great, uh, will you tell Crixus about it, when he comes down? He seemed upset with me, but I swear, I'm not a homophobe or nothing, I-I'm not, Saxa's just-"

"-sick. Right," Spartacus nodded and Agron breathed out a content "yes." Spartacus understood or pretended to, at least. 

"Crixus doesn't think that, we all know you're not. It was just a misunderstanding at lunch, right?" Spartacus winked and Agron gave him a quick smile in return. 

It was not in any way easier to go home to Saxa and keep lying to her, but it beat facing Nasir any day. 

Agron said his goodbye's to them all and hurried out to his car. When he was seated inside, he let the tears that had been clouding his eyes all day fall.

"Fuck, I can't do this," he whispered to no one but himself as he rested his head on the steering wheel. He was heaving for breath and sobbing for a few minutes, his hands clutching the steering next to his head so hard that his knuckles turned white.

Moments passed before Agron felt composed. He backed the car out of the spot, drove out of the parking house and headed home.

Nasir was haunting him. And not just because Agron was overwhelmed with guilt and fear of losing his wife and child, but because Agron _desired._

He wanted nothing more than to be buried in that snug heat again, the musky scent of man filling his nostrils and the feel of strong muscle underneath his hands.

He pushed away his desires. He had made love to Saxa every night since that Saturday, but somehow his cock was not stirred in the same desperate way as it had been with Nasir.

Saxa was a beautiful woman and Agron had never not lusted for her. But now, somehow the curves of her round breasts and her soft, milky skin reminded him of trimmed pecs and abs and a flat strong chest. Her hard pink nipples reminded him of smaller, dark ones but equally as hard, and her soft cheeks reminded him of black stubble rutting against his own. 

He would never tell her. He would never tell _anyone_ and he would most certainly never be with Nasir again. His desires were temporary, it would pass and soon, Agron was sure of it. Stupid fucking bi-curious experiment. It was not worth losing everything for. 

But when Agron came inside Saxa the following nights, it was with consistent images of dark skin and raven hair on his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up, Crixus and Naevia's wedding, where Agron and Nasir meet again!


	3. Wedding Blues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is really long and I've been kinda nervous about posting it. Hope you'll like it and that you won't get bored!

It was the morning of Crixus and Naevia's wedding and Agron's desires for Nasir had not fucking passed. It had been a month since the bachelor party, since he had seen Nasir, and he had no idea what to do when he saw him again. His heart had been racing the night before when he laid in bed, Saxa sound asleep beside him. Agron had stared at the ceiling for an hour or two, just thinking and worrying.

He was mostly terrified of Saxa meeting Nasir. What if Nasir would tell her about what had happened? He hadn't told Naevia and Crixus, so maybe he wouldn't. Agron just had to keep his distance. He would shake hands with Nasir, smile politely and introduce him to Saxa, and everything would be fine. Just fine. With those thoughts sleep had finally claimed him. 

But not even in his sleep would Nasir let him be. His dreams had been plagued with moans and soft gasps, wet lips moving against his and big brown eyes looking into green ones, a wicked smile spreading across the beautiful face of the little man straddling him.

The dreams had felt so incredibly real. Agron had been able to feel the tightness and warmth surrounding his cock as Nasir rode him, could feel thick stropes of milky seed across his chest as Nasir spurted all over him. Fuck, it had been so gay and Agron wasn't gay. 

Nonetheless, he had woken completely out of breath with a raging boner and a need for a cold shower. He moved to get up, but Saxa rolled over and laid her arm across him as she nuzzled into his chest. Agron froze as she hummed softly and slid her hand down his belly and further. 

"Guten Morgen, meine Liebe. Mm, I see that you're already _up_..." She purred and palmed his cock through his boxer briefs. 

Agron swallowed hard and laughed nervously, "Babe... Don't. We got lots to do before the wedding..." 

But Saxa was relentless, "Come on, honey. It's early, we got time..." She whispered as she crawled down his body like an animal going for its prey. Under the covers she took Agron's cock in her mouth, working the shaft too roughly with her tongue and hand. 

Agron had had trouble finishing with Saxa for the past week or so, the anxiety of the wedding and seeing Nasir again weighing him down. 

He had told Saxa it was because of stress at work, but he knew deep down that the reason he couldn't cum with her was because she wasn't Nasir and the closer to the wedding they got the more Nasir occupied his thoughts. 

Agron knew that he wouldn't be able to get his release now either, but he let Saxa blow him anyway and forced away images of anyone other than the woman sucking him off. 

The doorbell rang and Agron let out a sigh of relief, immediately feeling guilty for doing so. Saxa released his cock and emerged from under the covers, her hair big and wild around her face. She hurried out of bed and looked around in search for the clothes she had scattered on the floor the night before. 

"Fuck, the babysitter's already here. Hurry, get up, get dressed. I'll wake Duro," She stressed, jumping to get into her pants. 

Agron quickly put on a pair of sweats and a t-shirt as he hurried to greet the babysitter by the door. They had used her a couple of times before and Duro seemed to really like her. She was not a day over 16, all braces and pink chewing gum, but she was a nice girl.

Agron led her into their living room and started making coffee for the three of them. They had three hours before the ceremony would start, one that would be followed by a reception where they were to send off the happy couple after hours of partying. 

The babysitter was indeed early, but it would give Agron and Saxa time to clean the house and get dressed without looking after Duro, so Agron thanked the young girl as he handed her a scalding cup of black coffee. 

Saxa emerged with a sleepy Duro in her arms, but when the boy saw who was in their living room, he jumped down and ran towards the girl.

"Chloe!" The boy squeaked and ran across the carpet on his tiny bare feet to get to the girl. She laughed and welcomed the boy with open arms, and Agron and Saxa shared small smiles, knowing that Duro would be fine with her for the rest of the day.

They went about their business; cleaned all the rooms, washed a machine of clothes and showered separately while Duro and Chloe watched television and played with the toy that had been at the bottom of the cereal box.

Agron showered after Saxa and jerked off to the images from his dreams that were still vividly clear on his mind. It was silly, really. This obsession he had with Nasir. He hated him, despised him for making him feel these unwanted things, yet he could not stop thinking about him. It wasn't like he was in love with him, god no! He was just horny and really confused.

Nasir probably wouldn't even recognize him. The thought made Agron's mood more sour than it already was - he considered himself a good lover and one to be remembered - but it was for the best. The guilt was still weighing heavily on his shoulders, making it hard to breathe, to _live_ , and somehow he did not stop his hand from stroking roughly on his cock. 

In his mind, he allowed himself to cum for the last time thinking about Nasir and then this little infatuation would be over. Because Agron wasn't gay, he was just momentarily insane. 

He came all over the shower tiles with a strangled cry, no more than a minute after he had started touching himself. 

-

Saxa was wearing a black maxi dress with a draped front and defined waist. The dress was a oneshoulder model with an open section behind to reveal the skin of her toned back. Her hair was curled to the side and her makeup was flawless. She completed the outfit with a pair of high heels in black as well, and yet she was still much shorter than Agron. 

Agron's breath caught in his throat as he took in her appearance. She was stunning. He wanted to wrap her in his arms and never let go. How had he been so lucky to find a goddess like her? And why the fuck was he ruining everything by jerking off in the shower to thoughts of a man?

With a sigh he took a quick look at himself in the mirror. He had put on his light grey suit with a white dress-shirt underneath and a bowtie in a pattern of deep orange and navy. 

After he had showered and dressed, Saxa had told him he looked very dapper and she had picked out the colorful bowtie to break with the grey and white. She had kissed him, passionately and told him that she loved him. Tears had burnt in his eyes, as they still did now as he buttoned the one button in his suit jacket.

He just needed to get through this day and then he hopefully never had to see Nasir again.

-

The church was packed with well-dressed people, friends and family to Naevia and Crixus. Saxa and Agron luckily found seats in the front next to Donar and Mira, whom they greeted with hugs and smiles.

Agron was afraid to look up and around, but could no longer resist his curiousity. He saw Crixus by the altar, his brother and Spartacus close behind him. He was nervous; Agron could tell by the way he was pulling at his fingers and sliding his sweaty hands against each other.

Agron looked to Naevia's side - from which she was still absent - and saw two women whom he guessed to be Naevia's sisters or cousins. They were both dressed in long, dark-purple dresses and Agron wondered why anyone would ever choose a color that horrid for the bridesmaid's dresses. 

But what he saw next to the women took his breath from him. There he was. Nasir. He too was dressed in dark-purple, but in a suit so well-fitted to his lithe form that Agron felt his mouth water. He was heart stoppingly beautiful. 

Nasir's black hair - _that hair_ Agron had fantasized about burying his nose in for a month now - was pulled back in a high ponytail. He looked sophisticated, yet younger than Agron remembered. Maybe it was the way how his handsome features were more exposed with the hair pulled away from his face. 

Agron hadn't even realized that he had been shamelessly staring, before Nasir caught his eyes and smiled widely, flashing his white teeth in a devilish grin as if the two shared a secret. Which they did. A big fucking secret. 

Agron averted his eyes at once and swallowed hard. He could feel Nasir's stare as he absentmindedly tugged on a string that had gotten loose from his pants. He was afraid to look up and during the ceremony he made sure to not cast his gaze in Nasir's direction again.

Agron felt like he was going to die. Right then and there, in the middle of God's house. He was pretty sure that what he was feeling was what a heart-attack felt like. His bowtie was too tight, cutting off his airsupply and suffocating him. The temperature in the room was like a volcano in eruption and his dress-shirt was soaked with sweat. 

He made it through the ceremony, just barely. Naevia was beautiful in her white lace gown and when she walked down the aisle Crixus was teary-eyed. They said their vows and their "I do's" and when Saxa took Agron's hand in hers he could tell that she was reminiscing about their own wedding day. And what a beautiful day it had been, yet it was so long ago and Agron felt as though he could not remember a time when he hadn't felt guilty and confused.

At the reception chocolate covered strawberries were served along with champagne. Agron managed to avoid Nasir completely, dragging Saxa around to small-talk with his co-workers and their wives, all whom Saxa was well-acquainted with. She had even developed a close friendship with Mira and Sura as a result of the many couple-dinners they had had. Agron considered Spartacus and Donar his best friends, so it had been natural that Saxa and their wives would form a bond as well.

Agron was clutching Saxa's hand in his one hand and a glass of champagne in his other. He was constantly hyper-aware of Nasir's presence and whenever he moved around Agron followed him out of the corner of his eyes.

He moved with such a grace, confident and effortlessly sexy. Agron had never thought of another man like that, as _sexy_. Men weren't sexy to him, not ever. He was straight as an arrow, always had been, always would be. He would not let the biggest mistake of his life define him. 

After Crixus and Naevia had gotten their wedding photos taken at the large green area close to the ballroom they had rented for the reception, they returned to their guest to greet everyone who had come to celebrate them. 

"Crixus! Congratulations," Saxa beamed and fell into the man's arms, when Crixus went to greet the group. 

"Thank you, beautiful," Crixus returned the hug, his smile threatening to split his face. Agron had never seen him this happy.

He congratulated the man as well and shook his hand, their free hands clasping the other's shoulder as they grinned at each other.

"How was your bachelor party? From what I understand, it was quite the party. Agron wasn't home 'till like 6 in the morning," Saxa laughed and wiggled her eyebrows at Crixus and then Agron. 

"What? He left the club around 2. Your loyal husband here decided against strip," Crixus said that last part in a whisper before he broke out in a laugh and patted Agron on the back. 

Agron felt like he had been punched in the gut.

"Oh?" Saxa turned to him and raised an eyebrow, her voice changing tone from playful to judgemental.

"Y-yeah, uh... but honey, I was too drunk to drive and so I-I slept for a few hours in a hotel room, y'know..." Agron stammered, his hands sweaty as he nervously ran one through his hair. 

"But you took a cab home? Remember, you picked up the car Sunday by your office? Where were you all those hours, Agron? Why didn't you just take a cab straight away?" Saxa asked and folded her arms across her chest. Crixus' smile faded as he noticed the tension he had created with his words. 

"Now, now, let's not fight. It's my wedding day and it is a glorious one, everyone's happy, right?" Crixus soothed as he gently patted Saxa on the back. 

Agron shot him a look and Crixus seemed to understand that he needed to give them a moment, so he went to greet some of the other guests. 

Agron was gonna tell her. He had to tell her. Everything. _Right now._

"I swear, baby, I'm not lying to you. I felt so sick, I needed to sleep it off for a few hours before I came home to you. I didn't want you to see me like that," he stuttered and gulped. 

Shit. _Liar, liar, liar._

"It's alright, baby, I believe you. I'm happy you were being responsible and not attempting to drive when you were drunk. But you know you can always come home and sleep, no matter what state you're in. We've been married for god knows how long, I won't judge you for being wasted," Saxa smiled and leaned up on her toes to kiss Agron on the cheek. 

"I don't wanna fight," Agron whispered sadly.

"We're not," Saxa stated and took her husband's hand. They smiled at each other and went back to join the celebration again.

The rest of the day went by fairly smoothly. When dinner was served the mood was high, people were chatting and having fun. The starter and main course were delicious and the speeches and songs were most entertaining.

Between the main course and dessert Nasir stood up and clinked his glass. 

Fuck, no. He was going to make a speech. Agron cringed and emptied his glass of red wine. When Nasir began to speak about his close relationship with Naevia and how welcome she had made him feel when he first arrived to Australia, Agron had to look away. 

He knew how that voice sounded during sex, how that face looked during sex and how that body under layers of suit felt underneath him. 

He poured himself another glass of red wine, downing it as fast as the other. Saxa raised an eyebrow at him, to which he just whispered: "Tastes really good." 

After dinner the tables were moved to the side, creating a big dancefloor. It was a few hours of loud music and dancing before the guests sent off the happy couple on their honeymoon. Family and friends were all gathered outside to wave as Crixus and Naevia drove away in a rented Ford Mustang with the words "Just Married" on the rear window. 

Their guests went back inside to continue celebration in honor of the newly married couple. Agron sat in a corner with Donar, Spartacus and Gannicus at a table discussing rugby results while their wives mingled. When Agron looked up he saw what he had dreaded the most; Saxa engaged in deep conversation with Nasir in another corner of the large ballroom. 

He studied them from his seat for a long while. They were laughing together and Nasir sometimes even placed his hand on her hip to lean in and whisper something.

"Agron? You think they can beat the Melbourne Rebels? Agron! Hey, man, what the fuck is wrong with you?" Gannicus asked, annoyance clear in his voice.

"Huh? What?" Agron snapped out of his trance-like state and looked at Gannicus. 

"I asked if-" Gannicus began, but Agron wasn't listening. 

Behind his blonde friend he could see Nasir leaving the ballroom and he quickly got up.

"I have to go to the bathroom," he mumbled and ignored the confused faces of his friends. 

He hurried out of the same door where Nasir had left and followed him down a long hallway to the bathroom stalls. His heart was racing and his blood was boiling with anger.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Agron demanded when he was close enough so that Nasir could hear.

Nasir turned around, obviously surprised by the fact that Agron had followed him.

"Uh... Going to the bathroom?" He offered nonchalantly and gestured to the door behind him.

He turned away from Agron and went in, the door closing softly behind him. Agron was fuming as he slammed the door open and entered the bathrooms, where Nasir was busy fixing his hair in the mirror. 

"Don't play with me, Nasir. I saw you talking to her!" Agron thundered, extremely provoked by Nasir's indifferent attitude. 

"Talking to who?" Nasir asked and tucked a loose strand of hair back in his ponytail without ever looking at Agron. 

"To my wife, goddammit! The blonde in the black dress! I want you to stay the fuck away from her!" Agron slammed his fist into the hard porcelain of the sinks, his eyes focused intently on Nasir's face. 

"Oh, that's your wife? She's amazing! She was really interested in my art, so we agreed that she'd come to my place some time to take a look at some of my work," Nasir chimed and Agron could see a smile spreading across his face. 

"Did you tell her?" Agron demanded but softened his voice. He could not bear the thought of Saxa befriending Nasir, and if he laid all his anger on Nasir maybe it would move the Syrian to tell Saxa about what had happened. He couldn't risk it.

"Look, I'm not a home-wrecker, okay? And I don't believe in outing people. So ofcourse I didn't," Nasir sighed and finally turned so that his front was facing Agron.

"Outing? What's there to 'out'? What are you talking about?" Agron sneered and frowned. 

"That you're, you know... gay," Nasir shrugged as if it was nothing.

"I'm not! I'm not, you shut the fuck up!" Agron snapped and took a threatening step towards Nasir, his shaky finger pointing at the other man. 

"Alright. Whatever, Agron. But you _fucked_ me. And I'm a guy, in case you didn't notice. You're at least bi," Nasir replied and raised an eyebrow at the tall man in front of him.

"Keep your voice down! And I'm _not_. I was drunk and you were there," Agron hissed under his breath, suddenly terrified that someone would hear them. 

"And there were lots of girls at that club if a hole for your cock was all you were looking for. But fine, keep living a lie. It's your life, not mine. I could care less. But you know, your wife's extremely beautiful. It's really unfair to take the pretty girls off the market for the straight guys who actually desires them," Nasir snickered. 

Agron growled like a beast as he surged forward to shove Nasir against the wall next to the sinks. Their bodies were close, both of them heaving for air, their breath mingling. Nasir glanced down and saw Agron's clenched fists down his sides. 

"Are you gonna hit me?" Nasir asked as he looked up at Agron. He did not sound scared, he just lifted his chin in defiance as if daring Agron to hit him.

"I - am not - _gay_!" Agron sneered, his finger poking roughly into Nasir's chest with each syllable. 

"Then why the fuck is your cock hard against mine?" Nasir purred with a smug grin.

Agron closed his eyes and inhaled sharply. It was true. Being so close to Nasir had his cock twitching in his pants and Nasir could feel that. 

"Oh yeah, you're gay. You are so gay," Nasir smirked and slid his hand down to palm Agron's cock through his pants. Agron groaned but quickly regained sense and took Nasir's hand roughly by the wrist to slam it against the wall over his head.

"Stop talking, Nasir," Agron growled, their faces so close that their noses were touching. He took Nasir by the collar with one hand and pushed open a door to a bathroom stall with the other. He dragged Nasir inside, locked the door behind them and shoved him up against the wall once inside.

Nasir looked up at Agron's face and anticipated his next move. Agron looked conflicted as if he was considering, but not for long. 

The kiss was feverish and frantic from the beginning. Agron was forcing his tongue inside, burying his large hands in black hair and rutting his cock against Nasir's hip. He was like a starving man when he moaned into the kiss and bit down hard on Nasir's lower lip, making the other man whine. 

Agron pulled away and placed his forehead on Nasir's, his eyes squeezed shut.

"Why are you doing this to me? You're driving me crazy," Agron sighed and without wanting to hear Nasir's reply he surged forward to claim the little man's lips again. He didn't want Nasir's plumb lips to form any other sounds but moans and gasps. 

They were both panting harshly and tugging blindly at each other's belt buckles. 

"Let me fuck you. Now," Agron snarled and grabbed Nasir harshly by the shoulders to turn him around.

"Fuck, yes," Nasir moaned and let Agron pull down his pants to his knees, exposing the firm flesh of his ass. Agron roughly gripped an ass cheek in each hand while nearly sobbing from overwhelming lust. 

Nasir reached into the inner pocket of his jacket and grabbed a condom. He handed it over his shoulder to Agron, who took it and rolled it onto his cock as fast as his shaking hands would allow him.

"Come on, Straight Man. Get your big cock inside me," Nasir moaned and arched his back. When he threw his head back Agron took the opportunity to grab a rough hold on his ponytail. 

"I'm gonna fucking punish your tight ass for making me feel like this," Agron hissed into Nasir's ear, before he spit in his hand and slicked up his cock. The spit was not nearly lubrication enough, but it would have to do. With one hand in Nasir's hair he guided himself between the cheeks and into the unprepared hole. 

When Agron with much difficulty breached the first tight ring of muscle, Nasir cried out in pain and slammed his clenched fist into the thin wall separating their stall from the next.

"Sorry. Sorry... I'll go slow," Agron whispered with a kindness and tenderness to his voice completely different from the harsh, hateful tone he had just had. He leaned forward and kissed Nasir gently on the jaw as he very slowly inched inside.

When he was buried to the hilt they were both panting, Nasir with his forehead on the wall in front of him and Agron's face buried in Nasir's neck. They stood like that for a while and when Agron finally felt it would be okay to move, the door to the bathrooms opened and they both immediately froze.

"Agron?" Agron instantly recognized the voice as being Donar's.

"Fuck!" He hissed and clasped a hand over Nasir's mouth, his voice rough and his cock still buried deep in the other man's ass. 

Nasir squirmed to get away from Agron, the situation suddenly too real and awkward, but Agron's strong arms held him in place.

"Donar?" Agron asked, his voice strained. Nasir's ass was clenching so good around his cock, making speech the most difficult task on Earth. 

"Man, are you okay?" Donar stammered, voice filled with concern. "You looked uncomfortable when you left. Saxa's worried about you. Did the food upset your stomach or something?"

"Uh... Ohh..." Agron nearly choked on a moan as Nasir's body suddenly vibrated with suppressed laughter. It felt so fucking good and his cock was oozing pre-cum inside the smaller man. "Uh... Yeah-yeah. Upset. My stomach, yeah. I feel really bad... But I'll... Uh, tell Saxa I'll be out soon, Donar." 

"Alright..." Donar said, obviously not convinced. "But I gotta take a piss first, though." 

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," Agron whispered as he hid his face in Nasir's neck. Fuck, he wanted to move so badly and Nasir smelled so good, and oh god, what was he doing. 

His hand was still clasped hard over Nasir's mouth, their bodies and breathing completely still as they listened to Donar doing his business in the next stall. 

When they had heard the door to the next stall open, the water run down the sink, Donar's awkward "Well, guess I'll see ya when you get back in," and the door to the bathrooms open and close, Nasir burst into loud laughter as soon as Agron had removed his hand from his mouth.

"Stop..." Agron whispered. "It's not fucking funny, stop laughing."

But Nasir just kept on laughing and Agron found that the little man's laugh was contagious. 

"Stop laughing," he attempted but they were now both laughing loudly at the situation. Fuck, he still had his cock in Nasir's ass and the whole shit was just too fucking surreal. 

"Fucking Donar," he sighed when their laughter came to an end. 

"No, fucking me. Get to it," Nasir spoke in a low, sexy voice.

Agron groaned deep in his throat and wrapped his arm around Nasir's waist to pull him closer as he started fucking into him fast and hard. 

He was carelessly chasing his release, afraid that someone else would walk into the bathrooms and hear them. He didn't think he could survive another interruption, he needed to come inside Nasir more than he needed air in his lungs. 

Nasir was doing the same, jerking himself off hard and fast. Agron could no longer resist the feel of Nasir's cock in his hand, thick and hard, so he reached out with one hand to bat away Nasir's and replace it with his own in a firm grip.

When he started stroking a loud, surprised moan emerged from deep in Nasir's throat and it only took a few more hard strokes before he was coming all over the wall in front of him, coating Agron's hand in his release. 

"Oh god... So hot... So fucking hot..." Agron moaned lustfully. He was so close and the thrusts of his hips had become erratic and sloppy. His hand was warm and sticky from Nasir's cum and it was so mind-numbingly sexy.

He attached his lips to Nasir's throat and began kissing and biting at the soft skin. He found that he was obsessed with that part of Nasir's body, the scent of the skin the sweetest he had ever savored and just like he remembered.

Nasir was pressing his palms into the wall in front of him, his back arched and his head to the side to give Agron better access. He was moaning loudly, while Agron kept pounding his cock into him. 

Agron's balls were on fire and when he came inside the condom it felt as though he was slicking himself up in boiling liquid. It was agonizingly good.

He bit down hard on Nasir's sensitive skin to muffle his cries of pleasure. 

" _Nasir_... Fuck!" Agron gasped as he slowly came down from his overwhelming high. 

"Damn, for a straight guy you sure know how to fuck an ass. I'm not gonna be able to walk properly for a week," Nasir chuckled softly and turned his head slightly to place a gentle kiss on Agron's forehead. 

With that movement Agron pulled out and backed away from Nasir.

"What? What's wrong?" The smile on Nasir's face faded and turned into a frown, when he saw the look on Agron's face. 

Agron was breathing heavily and staring at Nasir with loathing and disgust. He had his back pressed completely against the wall on the other side of the tiny stall, as if he was afraid that Nasir would reach out and touch him.

"Are you fucking schizo or something?" Nasir asked in disbelief of how Agron was suddenly acting.

Agron just ignored him. Instead he turned his attention to his softening cock, where the condom was already halfway off. He pulled it off completely and threw it in the bin next to the toilet. The skin on the inside of his hand was tightening with Nasir's drying sperm and he reached out to grab some toilet paper. Nasir did the same and their hands met.

"Let me help you," Nasir said softly and took Agron's hand in his own to dry off the cum. Agron pulled his hand away from Nasir's touch and shoved the little man away from him roughly. 

"Back the fuck off," He growled. He put his cock back in his underwear and zipped up his pants. With one last look at Nasir, Agron slammed open the door to the stall and hurried out. He turned on the water and washed his hands quickly. Without drying them and without looking back, he turned to leave the bathrooms.

"Seriously?! Are you just gonna walk out on me again? Agron!" Nasir called out, but Agron was gone. 

"Fucking closet-case," Nasir sighed to himself and turned to dry off his own cum from the wall.

-

Agron was going insane. He was sure of it. His cock had taken over all sense of reason. 

He had but one thing on his mind: getting off - with _Nasir_. Donar interrupting should have been a red fucking warning sign, a message from the gods to pull out his betraying cock and get the fuck out of there. But he just had to finish, like the cheating hormonal boy he apparently had become. 

Not even the fucking sound of Donar urinating in the next stall had softened his cock. Not even a bit. 

His mind had been completely fogged with lust but as soon as he had had his release reality had come crashing down on him. And the reality was that he had fucked a man, _again_ , in the bathroom at his co-worker's fucking wedding with his wife partying in the adjacent room.

He was a bad person. A horrible fucking person. 

He was walking hastily down the hallway straightening his bowtie and tugging his shirt down his pants. 

The party had thinned out and the only ones left were Gannicus and Sibyl, Donar and Mira, Saxa and Agron himself. The volume of the music had been turned down along with the lights, and his friends and wife were seated around a table in a corner lost in deep conversation. They didn't notice Agron until he flopped down in a chair next to Saxa.

"Oh hey, baby. Are you okay?" Saxa asked and placed a hand on his thigh. 

"Yeah, sure, sure. I'm fine," Agron smiled awkwardly and nodded, and Saxa resumed her conversation with the others. 

When Nasir returned to the party it was with a sour look on his face. He too had thankfully straightened his suit and combed his hair back into a new ponytail, so that he didn't look as fucked out as he had done when Agron left him in the bathroom.

He shrugged off his suit jacket and rolled his shirt sleeves up to his elbows, a look on him that made Agron absolutely crazy. He began to collect wine glasses on a tray and Agron followed his every movement out of the corner of his eye, as he pretended to listen in on the ongoing conversation at the table. Saxa was giving baby advice to Gannicus and Sibyl, something about what diaper brand was their favorite to use.

When Nasir looked in the direction of their table and caught Agron's gaze, Agron looked away quickly, embarrased to have been caught. How had his life become so messed up? He was going to end up hurting everyone around him, leaving him with nothing. He _had_ to stop lusting after the Syrian boy, had to stop laughing with him and sympathizing with him. He had to pretend none of this had happened, for his family's and his sanity's sake. 

"Oh no, look, Nasir's walking with a limp," Saxa suddenly leaned over and remarked, pulling Agron out of his thoughts. Agron's body tensed. He turned his gaze to follow Nasir, who was in fact limping as he walked from table to table.

Fuck, Agron had been too hard on his ass. 

"He told me he had agreed to help out tonight with the drinks and the cleaning. He must have strained something in his back while lifting," Saxa concluded, a look of concern on her face.

"Yeah, it's really important to bend the knees when lifting," Gannicus added and pointed in Nasir's direction with his beer as if to accentuate his point. 

"Yeah, he should watch his back," Agron muttered sullenly, a different kind of guilt suddenly weighing him down. 

"It's all those beer crates you fool's been emptying all night! That's heavy as shit!" Mira said with a laugh and slapped Donar across the chest.

"Ow!" Donar exclaimed and cluthed his chest, but he was smirking at his beautiful wife. 

"One of you should get off your asses and help the boy," Sybil said with a suggestive look at Gannicus.

"Me?" The long-haired blonde man asked with fake indignation. 

"I'll help him," Agron heard himself say, his voice sounding far away as his brain momentarily disconnected from his mouth. _What?!_

"You're so generous, baby," Saxa smirked and leaned in to kiss him. Agron returned the kiss and when he opened his eyes, he found Nasir staring at them.

He tore his gaze away from Nasir's and met Saxa's eyes. "I'll wait for you here, get up and gather glasses," Saxa said and patted Agron on the back. 

"No, go home, baby. You're okay to drive, right?" Agron asked and Saxa nodded, "Yeah, I only had one glass of white wine for dinner."

"I've seen the kitchen, it's a mess. It might take, like, hours. Relieve the babysitter and go home to Duro," Agron said and leaned in to kiss Saxa on the forehead.

"Alright. You'll be fine taking a cab later, then?" 

"Sure," Agron nodded and gave his wife a dimpled grin. 

Agron followed Saxa and his friends out to the parking lot and gave hugs and kisses and "Drive safely's" to them all.

When he went back inside the ballroom, he couldn't see Nasir in there. He went looking for him in the kitchen, where he found him bent over the sink, his hands buried in the water, wearing the cutest apron with a frown on his forehead.

"Hey," Agron said and leaned against the doorframe. 

Nasir glanced up briefly and then turned his attention back to the dirty glass in his hand. "What the fuck do you want, Agron? Didn't your wife just leave?" 

"I just wanted to say that I'm sorry, okay? I was a jerk earlier. And I can see that I've caused you pain, so... yeah, that's just what I wanted... And uh, ask if you need any help," Agron muttered nervously and scratched the back of his head.

Nasir turned and just stared at him. Agron stared back, the silence deafening. 

They both surged forward at the same time. Their lips met in a violent kiss, rough hands tearing off clothes and a large arm clearing the kitchen table of dishes and glasses.

The sound of glass and porcelain shattering on the floor was only drowned out by moans and grunts as Agron lifted Nasir up to sit on the kitchen table. Buttons from Nasir's shirt flew about their heads as Agron ripped it open and attacked the other man's chest and nipples with his tongue and teeth.

Once again Agron found himself stripped of his own free will, completely under the control of his leaking, demanding cock. The heart wants what it wants, but Agron found that his cock wanted something else more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So wow, that escalated quickly. And in the world of fanfiction a condom can always be retrieved from Nasir's pocket ;) let me know what you thought of this chapter! And thank you so much for reading!


	4. Dinner Extraordinaire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry you had to wait so long for this update! Midterms are taking up all my time :( Please accept this horribly long angst-filled chapter as my apology. Like seriously, I don't even know what this chapter is. I've rewritten it a thousand times and now I just had to get it out there. Please let me know if there are any inconsistencies or errors I should be aware of.

Agron's neck felt completely stiff. His head was aching and the skin on his back and one side was freezing cold. His front and the side he was lying on, on the other hand, was hot as a furnace as he was pressed against another naked body, his cock hard as rock and pressed between two firm ass cheeks. 

He frowned his forehead as he slowly opened his eyes, the sting of sunlight making him shut them close again at once. When he dared opening them again he was staring into a sea of black hair. He lifted his head from the pillow and swore he could hear his spine crack. The grunting noise he made at the pain had the person in front of him stirring.

It took a while for Agron to register where he was. It was as if the wedding last night had happened in a haze with red wine running in his veins, making him dizzy and amnesic. It came back to him slowly, as Nasir was waking in front of him with soft moans.

After desperately getting each other off in the kitchen by using their hands (Agron coming much sooner than Nasir, because the Syrian had this mind-blowing tight/squeeze/twist technique), they had cleaned up in silence.

Gathering shattered glass had earned Agron a large gash in his hand. Agron remembered now, as his senses came back to him and thus the dull throbbing in his palm. He also remembered Nasir falling to his knees and wrapping Agron's hand in a dish cloth, and that had somehow ended with Agron pushing his cock as far down Nasir's throat as the Syrian could take him - and that was far.

What happened next was even more of a blur. They might have gotten into a cab or walked to a hotel near the ballroom, but he really wasn't sure. He just knew that he was in a hotel room, the sheets and surroundings unfamiliar to him. Agron also remembered vaguely having fucked Nasir's ass again, because he just couldn't help himself. The ass he had been fantasizing about for a month was _right there_ , offered to him for the second time in a night.

"Fuck," Nasir mumbled. "You're so hard." 

Nasir's words pulled Agron out of his thoughts. He glanced down the side of Nasir's body. The other man's dark skin was shining in the early morning sunlight and Agron wanted to lick every golden inch of him. The drunken haze had passed but he was as insatiable as he had been last night.

His cock was also indeed still painfully hard and stood straight up, offended and accusing him for not doing something about it. He grabbed Nasir's hip with one hand and began to softly rub his cock between the round cheeks in front of him.

"You're unstoppable," Nasir chuckled, his voice thick with sleep as he covered his eyes from the harsh sunlight with his forearm. 

"Too sore?" Agron whispered in response and teasingly slid his finger against Nasir's hole, still open and lax and quivering underneath Agron's touch.

"Sore, yeah. But I want you." Nasir's voice was gravelly and low - he sounded as needing as Agron felt.

Agron reached behind himself to grab a condom from the nightstand. He was fumbling blindly for a moment but was relieved to find it quickly. His hips were desperately rutting against Nasir's ass, receiving moans from the other man in return. 

Agron rolled the condom on in a heartbeat and pushed Nasir's leg forward for better access. He spit down along Nasir's crack and slid into him with little effort, but he was still so tight and warm that Agron had to bite his lip and stop his movements for just a second to prevent himself from coming prematurely like a teenage boy.

Nasir winced at the intrusion. "Fuck, if we're gonna keep doing this... ah... you gonna have to... mmh... buy some fucking lube." 

"You brought l-lube to the fucking bachelor party - _ah fuck, you feel good_. So why not this time?" 

The angle was awkward and Agron could barely get his cock out of Nasir, so he settled for working hard inside him instead, pounding on the spot inside that made Nasir whine and clutch the sheets.

"I didn't expect this to happe- oh, _Ag-gron_!" Nasir moaned as he arched his back and pushed his ass closer to Agron, his inner muscles squeezing impossibly tight on Agron's cock.

"Fuck, it's so hot when you moan my name." Agron bit down on Nasir's neck, already completely scattered with red and purple marks formed in the shape of Agron's mouth.

Agron moved his hips harder and faster, as he breathlessly continued, "Yet you brought lots of condoms. You've been craving my cock, haven't you?... oh _fuck_ Nasir, I'm not gonna last..."

His balls were already tightening and he knew that it would be over embarrassingly fast, and true enough, it was only a few thrusts before he was coming into the condom with a loud roar. So much for not coming prematurely.

Sighing into Nasir's hair, Agron stayed inside him until his cock softened and slid out by itself.

"Fuck, that was amazing," Agron panted as he finally rolled onto his back and carefully let the condom slip off between his fingers. He tied a knot at the end and tossed it on the floor.

"I didn't come," Nasir stated bitterly. He was still lying on his side, his back turned to Agron. 

Agron glanced in his direction. "That's your problem," he shrugged. Why should he give a fuck.

With an angry hiss, Nasir rolled over and straddled Agron's waist. Agron looked up at him wide-eyed as Nasir took a tight hold on his own cock and began stroking it fast. 

"What the fuck are you doing?" Agron growled and squirmed to get free under Nasir, but the little stubborn man just tightened the hold of his thighs. He jerked his head back with a loud moan as his strokes on himself became harder, rougher. It was too intimate; Nasir on top of _him_ , looking at him, and on one hand Agron wanted Nasir to get the fuck off of him. On the other hand he never wanted Nasir to move.

Agron decided to stop struggling. His eyes became fixed on Nasir's face as the little man was bringing pleasure to himself. The other times they had fucked Agron had taken Nasir from behind. He had never seen _this_ , Nasir's face contorting in orgasmic pleasure, and his cock was already painfully filling again with the sight of it.

He placed his hands on Nasir's thighs, feeling the muscles flex underneath his hands. He would never admit this to anyone and he would deny it for the rest of his life, but he wanted Nasir to mark him with his cum. He wanted it so badly. 

"Fuck, you're so sexy, Nasir. _Fuck_. Come for me, _please_ ," he literally _begged_ , his voice rough and low.

Their eyes met, green lustblown gaze meeting brown, and that seemed to do it for Nasir. With a strangled cry, his eyes scrunched together and upperlip curling up, he spurted thick stropes of his warm seed all over Agron's chest. 

Nasir moaned through the aftershocks of his orgasm as Agron glanced down his own upper body, painted white with cum.

"Now, _that_ was amazing," Nasir at last sighed and climbed off Agron. He flopped down in bed next to him and a few seconds passed, both of them just lying on their backs, breathing heavily and staring into the ceiling.

Agron broke the silence, chuckling, "Fuck, that was so hot." 

"You think so, hm?" Nasir smiled and turned to face Agron, his elbow on the bed and his hand propping his head up.

"Yeah. Jesus, Nasir," Agron said and ran a curious finger through Nasir's cum on his chest. 

"I'll go get you something to clean up with," Nasir spoke softly and got up from the bed. He disappeared into the bathroom and returned a few seconds later with a towel in his hands. He sat down next to Agron, who was stretched out on bed, completely naked, unashamed and gorgeous.

"I'm so spent. I don't think I've ever had that many orgasms in a row before. I feel completely skinless," the German practically glowed, not the least bit worried about his sore cock.

Nasir snickered in response as he gently let the moist towel slide over Agron's abdomen, the skin stretched taut over firm muscles. "I hope I've satisfied you, then."

"Oh, yeah. You have," Agron beamed.

Their eyes met again in that intimate way and Agron could not help but gaze intently on Nasir's face. The silence somehow became almost loud and the tension between them was so thick it could be cut through with a knife. 

Agron couldn't quite decipher what it meant. He knew that he should tear his eyes away from Nasir and go home, but he didn't want to. The way Nasir's black hair was falling beautifully over his shoulders and the way they were smiling at each other made Agron's chest ache with an emotion he didn't understand.

Nasir's forehead was sweaty and a stray lock of hair stuck to it. Agron smirked and lifted his hand to slowly tuck the lock behind Nasir's ear. Nasir gasped and it was as if he stopped breathing, completely taken aback by Agron's gentle act.

It was a tender moment, but a fleeting one. Agron knew it was wrong. He averted his eyes and wiped the silly love-struck smile, or whatever, right off his own face. 

"Thanks," he muttered and took the towel out of Nasir's hands. Agron made quick work of cleaning his cock, drawing back the foreskin and drying underneath the head. Nasir frowned, got out of bed with a dissapointed sigh and went to the bathroom, no more words, smiles or gazes passing between them.

-

"Ow!" Agron groaned as something heavy and cold landed on his stomach. Had he dozed off again? He opened his eyes to see a bottle of water on his stomach and Nasir naked in front of him, sipping on a bottle of his own. 

"Drink. Or you'll dehydrate," Nasir instructed. 

"Did I just doze off again?" Agron muttered and scratched at his eyes with his closed fists. 

"Only for like 10 minutes or so." 

Agron checked the clock on his phone. 6:14 AM. And no messages from Saxa, thank god. He and Nasir had only slept for about three hours and Agron was more thankful than ever for his inner clock. Fuck, he had to go home.

"Oh. I gotta go home. Before they wake up," he said and sat up in bed.

"Yeah, alright. I get that," Nasir said softly and nodded, as he sat down next to Agron. He leaned forward until their noses bumped and as he puckered his lips for a kiss, Agron pulled away.

"Don't kiss me," he said.

"O-kay," Nasir muttered, actually seeming stunned by the rejection. It angered Agron.

"We're not... boyfriends, or whatever. Look. This has been... _really_ nice," he said, because fuck, if it wasn't the truth. "But... this thing... what we did? It was a one time thing. I got mine, you got yours. That's all," Agron continued, his voice surprisingly steadfast.

"It happened more than one time, Agron. Actually, a lot more than one time," Nasir winked and took a long swig from his bottle. 

"Whatever. It ends now," Agron stated bitterly and shot Nasir an angry look.

"So you really don't wanna see me anymore?" Nasir asked and raised his eyebrows.

Agron really did not care for the tone in Nasir's voice. It was as if Nasir didn't believe him, as if he was convinced that Agron would come crawling back to have his balls emptied. But no. That was not going to happen again.

"No, I don't want to fucking see you anymore, do you not understand what the fuck I'm saying? I love my wife. I'm not leaving her. Not for you, not for anybody. Not ever. And you know, you got some nerve, you Syrian piece of shit. I tell you I gotta go home to my wife and child, and you try and _kiss me_?!" Agron sneered and got up to start dressing. He aggressively pulled on his pants, his socks, his white dress shirt. "This shirt is too fucking small!" he growled as he realized he had been putting on Nasir's shirt. "Fuck!"

"Are you fucking kidding me?! A sober kiss is too gay for you, but having your cock buried deep in my ass and having my load shot all over you just moments ago isn't? You're a fucking hypocrite. _You're_ cheating, Agron. Not me. You are such an asshole. I'm glad I'm not gonna see you again," Nasir fumed and bared his teeth. 

Neither of them said anything for a long while after that. Their eye contact had vanished along with their seething rage, and now all that was left was silence. 

Agron eventually interrupted it with a deep sigh as he was buttoning his shirt, the right one this time. "Look, I have a kid," he said softly and their eyes finally met again, before Agron continued. "I have this whole life I worked hard to build. I'm not gay. I can't be."

Nasir got up on his knees on the edge of the bed and grabbed Agron by the shoulders, as if to shake some sense into him. "You keep saying that, yet here we are. Again. In a fucking hotel room. You just fucked me. _Again._ "

Nasir's words made Agron look away, the shame of his actions written all over his face.

"I know you're never leaving your wife, because you are so deep in the closet that you'll never be able to admit to yourself who you really are," Nasir said, his expression softening. "Look, I know it's hard coming out. I've been there, and I can help you-"

"No," Agron interrupted and took a step away from Nasir, violently shaking the little man's hands off his shoulders.

"No, you need to shut the fuck up right now, Nasir! I'm nothing like you! I'm no fucking faggot! I already told you that!" Agron was roaring now, his face turning red with anger. He turned around, grabbed the neatly decorated hotel tea tray from the TV stand and tossed it across the room. The white porcelain cups shattered loudly against the wall and fell to the carpeted floor in small, sharp pieces. 

Nasir looked with disbelief at the wall where the tray had been smashed and then at Agron, who was panting and growling like an animal. 

"You have serious anger issues," Nasir simply stated with an exasperated sigh and a shake of his head, as if he was giving up.

"What does it matter to you anyway? I don't even know you! Can't you just be a great fuck and let me deal with my shit alone? Am I the first one-night stand you've ever had? Why the fuck do you care if I'm closeted or not? You think we're gonna get married now or some shit, just because we fucked?" Agron ranted angrily as he put on his shoes.

Nasir fell silent. He opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out. "I..."

"I... I-I don't know why I care," he at last mumbled, his eyes averting Agron's furious gaze. 

"I thought so. So just mind your own goddamn business. And you know, even if I was gay, I'd never be with someone like _you_ ," Agron snarled, spitting the last word out as if it had a foul taste.

The instant the words left his mouth Agron regretted them. He knew he was being extremely immature and unfair. Nasir looked as if he had been slapped, eyes wide and watery and mouth dropping open.

The Syrian constantly had a tough exterior: sexy, sassy and confident, but as they were fighting like this Agron saw it crumble. Nasir was hurt and Agron suspected it was not the first time in his life that Nasir had felt unwanted.

The hurt and sorrow on Nasir's face faded as fast as it had appeared. He composed himself, his face became stern and he laid back to get comfortable against the pillows. His soft, dark cock was lying against his thigh and his black hair was spread out over the white bedsheet, the contrast sharp to Agron's eyes. 

"I'm sorr-" Agron tried, but Nasir interrupted him.

"You know, it's funny you should say it Agron, cause you _were_ with me. Several times. Now get the fuck out," he commanded and pointed in the direction of the door. 

With a deep sigh, Agron took out his wallet and grabbed all the bills he had in it. He handed them to Nasir, much like he had done the first time they had been together. 

"Give this to Naevia. For everything we broke in the kitchen. Tell her you're a clutz or something. And for what I broke in here," Agron added and glanced to the shattered porcelain cups on the floor.

"Maybe I'll tell her you fucked me," Nasir snapped and Agron's jaw dropped.

"Pl-please. I beg you," he stammered, his throat constricting with fear.

"I won't tell. Asshole," Nasir hissed as he roughly took the money out of Agron's hands.

With his grey suit jacket in his arms and a last mournful look at Nasir, Agron turned to leave.

As soon as the door closed behind him, tears were springing to his eyes. He sobbed as he walked down the hallway, crying his heart out for everything he just lost, everything he was about to lose. 

When he got home after another painful, shameful taxi drive, Saxa and Duro were thankfully still asleep. It was after all only a little past 7 o'clock on a Sunday morning.

Agron tiptoed into the bedroom and slid into bed next to Saxa. He knew he smelled of sweat, sex and semen, but that could easily be brushed off as him working in that kitchen all night long.

He inhaled the vanilla scent of Saxa's hair and wept silently.

He did not deserve this woman. This beautiful, strong woman. Mother of his son. If she knew, she would hate him, despise him. Hell, he hated and despised himself.

His pillow was almost soaked with his salty tears, before he fell into deep slumber.

-

Agron kept his promise. He didn't see Nasir again after that.

Months passed. August turned to September and thus came Fall.

It took a long while for Agron to stop thinking about Nasir, though. For weeks he dreamt about him almost every night. Every time he jerked off he imagined Nasir's hands on him. He had lost his appetite and felt immensely sad all the time. It felt like a broken heart - why did it feel that way?

He avoided all after-hours social time with the guys from work. They invited him each and every time, but Agron always said that he'd might stop by and then stayed away. He didn't even step by to see if Nasir had shown up, despite the fact that his curiosity was killing him. Was Nasir deliberately avoiding him too? He wouldn't know. And he wouldn't ask.

Saxa had noticed. Why did he think she wouldn't notice? That was so naive of him.

"What's wrong?" She had asked one day, her hands on her hips. It had taken Agron completely off guard. "You've been acting like a crazy person lately."

"I have?" Agron faked ignorance and raised his eyebrows in surprise.

"You never wanna do anything with me and the boy. You don't eat. We never have sex. I would suspect you were cheating on me if it had not been for the fact that you never leave the house anymore except to go to work and the gym," she had said and moved to sit next to him on the couch. 

Agron had been quiet a long while after her rant. He had been so selfish. He had sworn to himself that he would not let his bi-curious experience with Nasir - because that's all it had been - affect his family or his sanity. 

As he had done before he brushed it off as stress at work. 

"I knew you would say that. I talk to Sura, you know. Spartacus says that work is fine. You guys are not busy at the moment, he says," she had stated, almost threateningly as if she was testing him or something.

Agron had raised his voice then. He hadn't meant to, but he felt crowded in on. "You know, I _can_ feel stressed without Spartacus feeling stressed. People are not always unitedly stressed! I'm just... I'm sick of everything! I'm sick of the job and Crixus and this goddamn country, and-and..."

"Me?" Saxa had whispered, her voice suddenly shaky with hurt and fear. 

"No. No, never you or the kid. Never. I'm sorry, baby." Agron had taken her into his arms, held her and pressed kisses to her hair. "Never you."

Their relationship had gotten back to normal after that. Better, even. They made love frequently and Agron had learned to appreciate her beauty and sexual appeal again. There had only been one time where he had begged her to let him fuck her ass. He had been drinking red wine for dinner, a glass or four, and when she finally agreed he had entered her bareback. All he had been able to think about was how amazing it would feel to fuck Nasir without a condom, and he had come harder than ever before with Saxa before he was even balls deep. 

But other than that, perfectly normal.

Agron made sure to be there for Saxa and his boy. He began always coming home for dinner in time and every sunday the three of them raised kites in the park or played football. Like a real, loving family. They began inviting Spartacus and Sura over for dinner more often - Agron figured he needed to see his friends and if he hosted he could decide who were invited. They ate brunch with Donar and Mira at least once a week and Agron was slowly returning to his old self.

However, a void was left in his chest and Agron couldn't fill it, didn't know how or why it was even there.

-

It was a cold day at the office in the middle of November and Agron was in much need of coffee.

He hadn't meant to go in there. Really, he hadn't. He was just passing through the pharmacovigilance department with his cup, when he glanced into Barca's office.

It was empty so Agron figured it would be okay to sneak a peek and snoop just a little bit. He knew that Barca was gay. Essentially, that was what made his feet move towards the office.

It had become quite of an internal joke between the men working out in the company owned gym in the basement, including Agron: 'Don't drop the soap if Barca's there', 'Be careful he's not sneaking glances at your cocks,' shit like that.

Agron had stopped laughing at those jokes around the time succeeding Crixus' bachelor party.

Jokes aside, they all knew that Barca only had eyes for one man. 'A twink' the others used to call the boy who had stolen Barca's heart.

Moreover, they were all terrified as shit of Barca. He was the Executive Medical Director of Drug Safety and that earned him a lot of respect within the walls of their offices. Gay jokes were kept to the confines of the finance department on the fourth floor, where Agron and the immature fucks he called friends were seated.

The picture on Barca's desk was from their wedding, Agron presumed. Barca was dressed in a black suit, the man beside him in a matching white one. The younger man was dark-skinned (kinda like Nasir. _Nasir, Nasir, Nasir._ ) and curly-haired. He was really cute. Agron could see the appeal.

Fucking shit, fucking hell! No, he couldn't see the fucking appeal! Women, breasts, warm cunt, _Saxa, Saxa, Saxa!_

Barca and the young man's hands were clasped tightly together as they smiled into the camera. They looked so happy and Agron briefly felt a sting of jealousy. He hadn't truly felt that happy in a long time.

"He's a real looker, ain't he?" Barca said when he appeared behind Agron. Agron jumped a little at his voice, embarrased to have been caught roaming in his office and staring at his private photos.

"That your husband?" Agron asked and put a sweaty hand in his pocket while sipping nervously on his coffee. 

"Yeah. Pietros," Barca simply replied and moved to his chair. Agron was in the way and they did an awkward sort of dance, before Agron had moved and Barca could sit down. 

Silence fell between them. They hadn't really spoken since the Christmas party last year. They had both been drunk and Agron didn't remember much of their conversation, except that it had ended in a drunken, awkward hug. And then of course the occasional 'good morning' and 'I wonder what's for lunch today'.

"Did you want something?" Barca inquired and raised an eyebrow. 

"How did you know? Th-that you were gay, I mean?" Agron blurted out. His own eyes widened in shock of what he'd just said.

A devilish grin spread across Barca's face, revealing the gap between his front teeth. Agron wanted to slap that grin right off and get the hell out of there.

"You think you might be gay, Agron?" Barca asked and leaned back in his chair.

Agron panicked and shook his head feverishly. "What?! No! NO! I just..." What was it he wanted again?

"I'm just curious, alright? As to why a guy would ever prefer another guy," Agron chuckled to lighten the mood. He knew he was treading on dangerous territory.

Barca's eyes narrowed as he studied Agron's face. Then his expression softened.

"I've always known I was gay and I've had sex with many men. But it wasn't until I met Pietros that I knew true love. That's why I asked him to marry me," Barca smiled. "I knew he had to be mine or I'd lose my sanity," he finished, his eyes glancing to the picture as he spoke. Then he looked at Agron. "You just _know_ , you know?"

No, it was not that simple, Agron thought but he didn't say anything. He was surprised that Barca willingly had opened up as much as he did. He did not seem like a sensitive or sympathetic guy, even, but love could really change a man. Even when that love was between two men. Agron wondered briefly if Nasir had dreams of marriage like this.

"You happy with your wife?" Barca said and violently ripped Agron out of his thoughts.

"Iamwhywouldyouaskthat?" Agron asked too quickly on one single breath.

"I just find it strange you asking me this," Barca shrugged. 

"Was just trying to make conversation," Agron muttered, feeling flustered and looked to the floor.

"I appreciate that. Look, I don't socialize much with anyone from around here. Pietros has really been on my neck about that. You and your wife should come by for dinner. Pietros is an amazing cook," Barca added and grinned.

Agron raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Really? Uh, we'd... We'd like that." Lord knew that he needed new friends who wouldn't invite Nasir to every single get-together.

"Come by tonight," Barca said and began to scribble something down on a yellow post-it in front of him.

He handed it to Agron, who glanced down to see an adress and a time. 18:00 PM.

"Okay. Thanks, man. See ya," Agron smiled shyly and slipped out of Barca's office.

He didn't know what the hell he was thinking about when he thought being around gay men for an entire evening would be a good idea, but Saxa would be there and they would have a great time. Agron was sure of it.

-

That was how Agron, Saxa and Duro came to stand outside a huge villa in the good part of town, knocking on a massive wooden door. 

Barca opened and greeted them with handshakes. A little girl with ponytails was hiding behind his leg.

"Come on in, please. We're so glad you could make it. Oh and this little monkey here is our daughter, Diona. She's four," Barca chuckled as he took their coats to hang on the rack and allowed the little family to enter his entrance hall.

"You have curls. I like curls. You can be my boyfriend," Diona said in a tiny voice and pulled Duro by the hand into the living room where she had a corner of toys spread out over the floor. 

"But I don't wanna be anyone's boyfriend. Girls are gross," Duro sighed but the sight of the toys soon had him gasping in awe.

The scent of home cooking was glorious and Agron's stomach rumbled.

"Pietros invited a friend of his from work. He's bringing his boyfriend, too," Barca said and led Saxa and Agron into their living room, where Duro and Diona were playing with the Transformers they had somehow managed to find in the mountain of toys on the floor.

"Oh, that's great," Saxa smiled and accepted a glass of bubbly wine from Barca.

He? His boyfriend? More gays? Fuck. Agron's heart began to beat a little faster.

He accepted a beer from Barca and glanced around the large living room, trying to relax. It was an amazing house with expensive furniture and so much warmth that he should have no problems feeling right at home.

"Oh, hello! Welcome," Pietros emerged beaming from the kitchen and ran to shake Agron's hand and kiss Saxa on each cheek as they introduced themselves. "So nice to meet you! Is that your son?" He smiled and gestured to the other side of the living room.

"Yep, that's Duro," Saxa nodded, a proud motherly grin on her face before she took a sip of her wine. 

"Hi Duro, I'm Pietros," Pietros said, his voice a little raised so that the children could hear. 

"Hi Pietros. Look, this is Optimus Prime!" Duro glowed as he held up the Transformer he had found on the floor.

"Oh, you're so lucky. That's the leader of the Autobots, you know," Pietros replied and winked at the little boy.

Agron studied his face while he spoke. He was quite handsome and exotic in his appearance, but he reminded Agron too much of Nasir. Pietros was taller and darker, but his presence made Agron uncomfortable.

The door bell rang. Agron took a swig of his beer and put his arms around Saxa's waist, pulling her close. She smiled at him as Pietros went to greet their last guests. Barca excused himself and ran to check on the food.

All Agron could hear out in the entrance hall was male voices, but he couldn't see the new guests just yet. He felt inexplicably tense and took deep breaths to calm himself down. Maybe coming there tonight hadn't been the best of ideas. None of his ideas lately seemed to be any good. 

"Dinner's almost ready and the other guests are already here, so come on in and have a seat, darlings," Pietros spoke to the newly arrived as he reappeared in the living room. Another dark-skinned man followed him, much darker than both Nasir and Pietros. His hand was clasped tightly together with another man's appearing behind him, a little man...

_No. _No fucking way.__

"Fuck." Agron's jaw nearly dropped to the floor when he saw who entered the living room behind the unknown dark man. The gods were punishing him. It was the only explanation.

"I know, it's a small world, huh?!" Saxa squeaked excitedly and ran to greet the new guests, the couple... Some random fuck and _Nasir_. 

"Nasir, how are you! It's been too long!" Saxa beamed and opened her arms to meet him in a hug.

"Saxa! Uh... How n-nice to see you," Nasir stammered, obviously as surprised and uncomfortable with the situation as Agron.

Nasir glanced over Saxa's shoulder as she held him in a tight hug, and his eyes met Agron's. They both gulped.

Agron was sweating, his heart was beating entirely too fast to be healthy and his legs couldn't move. Why the fuck had he become a victim of the wrath of the gods? Well, maybe he kinda deserved it, but shit... and Nasir looked... stunning. Which wasn't helping. At all. His long black hair was tied back in a messy bun. He was wearing a tight light grey pull-over and dark skinny jeans, and suddenly Agron feared that months of working hard to get over Nasir would somehow come to mean nothing. With Nasir looking like that Agron could easily fall right back in and shit, that wasn't happening and fuck, Nasir was right in front of him now, extending his hand.

He took it, shook it and electricity shot through him at their contact.

Warm, soft hand. As warm and soft as Agron remembered. Warm, soft hand on his cock. Warm, soft hand gripping his thigh with surprising strength, taking his cock. _Stop!_

"Agron," Nasir simply greeted.

"Nasir," Agron nodded, his voice low as he avoided eye contact.

"This here your boyfriend?" Saxa asked with a smile over her shoulder as she approached the man Nasir brought.

"Uh.. yes, this is Castus," Nasir answered Saxa and glanced up to meet Agron's eyes, before their hands let go. "We just met two months ago."

Agron was boiling. Two months ago. It had been three months since the wedding. Real fucking fast he found someone else to fuck.

Agron greeted Castus with a handshake and a look that could kill. The other man grinned and Agron squeezed his hand just a little tighter, hoping it would hurt.

Pietros and Barca thankfully chose that moment to interrupt by welcoming everyone into their dining room, announcing that dinner was ready. Saxa had chatted with Nasir, but she came to Agron's side and took his hand as they took their seats around the large table. 

A delicious dish of pasta penne with beef sirloin, cream sauce and fresh basil was served and everyone was quiet, even the children, during their first bites.

"This is really good," Castus said and Saxa and Nasir nodded their agreement. Pietros thanked them and told them the recipe. Agron wasn't really listening. He looked at his food as if he would find gold at the bottom of his plate. Truth was he was afraid to look up.

The others continued their small-talk and Agron continued not participating.

"Duro, you look so much like your daddy," Nasir suddenly said and Agron's head shot up. His eyes went from his boy to Nasir and his mouth dropped open slightly. He couldn't believe what Nasir had just said. 

"My daddy doesn't have curls like me," Duro reasoned and took a sip from his cola with his straw. 

"That's true," Nasir nodded and smiled at the boy. "You have your curls from your beautiful mother. But you have your daddy's mouth..." Nasir glanced at Agron. "And his eyes."

Agron couldn't breathe. Was this surreal fucking situation really happening? 

Saxa was smiling from ear to ear. "I'm glad you notice that too, Nasir. Many people say he looks more like me, but I've always said that he's a dead ringer for Agron. He'll grow up to be as handsome as his father," she said and put her hand on Agron's thigh, stroking it. 

"I'm sure he will," Nasir said softly, glancing from Saxa to Agron and then to his food.

The tension after that was really fucking awkward. The children ate what they could, probably faster than they should have, and then begged permission to return to the toys in the living room. They ran off and the adults went back to not speaking.

With the children no longer present at the table, Agron had to ask the question that had been nagging him all night. He broke the silence, knowing he would probably get in trouble. He looked at Castus and their eyes locked. "So is it true what they say about African cocks?"

"Agron!" Saxa immediately snapped and bore her high heel into Agron's shoe-clad foot underneath the table.

"I just wanna know," Agron said, unaffected by the pain in his foot and his eyes never leaving Castus'.

"I'm from Sidney," Castus answered with nonchalance, already completely done with Agron's attitude. 

"Oh," Agron shrugged. "I just figured-" 

"It's true," Nasir interrupted, a mischievous smile spreading across his face. 

Castus smirked and Agron wanted to kill him.

Horribly awkward silence fell again. 

"Nasir, Pietros. You two work together, hm?" Saxa asked, obviously desperate to start a new subject that didn't involve black cocks.

Pietros sighed a deep sigh of relief, grateful for Saxa's change of topic. "Yes! Nasir just started part-time in the coffee shop where I work."

"Yeah, you know, I could really use the money next to my studies so I applied for the job, and Pietros and I just get along really well," Nasir smiled and winked at his new close friend. 

"Were you rebounding from someone when you two got together? You and Castus, I mean," Agron provokingly changed the topic again, his question directed at Nasir this time as he casually popped open his second bottle of beer with the bottle opener.

Castus chuckled as if Agron had made a joke, but he immediately stopped when he glanced from Nasir to Agron and saw the seriousness on both their faces.

Castus let go of his cutlery and it fell to his plate, the sound of steel meeting porcelain loud in the quiet dining room. "Dude, why are you acting like this? I haven't done anything to you. You don't like me, that's fine. But be a fucking adult about it. And Nasir wasn't seeing anyone a long time before he met me, he told me so himself. So no, he's not using me as a fucking rebound. Jesus," Castus explained angrily.

"And I told you the truth, I wasn't seeing anyone. No one special, at least," Nasir told Castus and tangled their fingers together. Agron's eyes fell to their entwined hands and his body fumed with rage. 

Nasir turned his gaze to Agron. When their eyes met Agron saw a terrifying calm on Nasir's face. "I don't know what you're talking about, Agron. Maybe you'd like to enlighten _all of us_ of your meaning?"

"Not really," Agron muttered, his eyes shooting daggers at the disgustingly happy couple in front of him. Was Nasir seriously daring him to tell what had happened between them right now? Right there? Fucking Syrian.

"Agron. Why would you ask that, that's so inappropriate and random. Excuse him, guys," Saxa apologized and held her hands up as if in surrender.

"Well, this is awkward. More pasta, anyone?" Pietros cleared his throat and passed the bowl around.

"No thank you, sweetheart. Please excuse us," Saxa said and got up. She pulled at Agron's sleeve and dragged him with her. "You mind if I kill him in your kitchen?" She asked Barca and Pietros over her shoulder, as she and her husband were about to leave the dining room.

"Be my guest," Barca shrugged.

They went to the kitchen on Barca's approval and Saxa turned to face Agron as she crossed her arms over her chest.

"If you didn't want this, then why did you say yes to Barca's invitation?" She whispered harshly.

"I didn't know it would be freaking gay pride in there!" Agron hissed and pointed in the direction of the dining room.

"So Pietros invited a friend too, so what? We _know_ Nasir. So we have friends in common. What's the problem?"

"I'm tired of gays. Let's go home, Schatz," Agron said with an exasperated sigh as he softly pulled Saxa closer by her elbow.

Saxa ignored him and shrugged off his hand. She was fuming as she continued her rant, "And asking Nasir if he's _rebounding_?! Castus seems like a really nice guy. Why must you provoke them and try to ruin their relationship? Is that what you're trying to do? Bist du zwölf Jahre alt?!"

"Nein, beruhige dich, bitte! I just don't like Nasir. Okay? I _really_ tried befriending him for Crixus and Naevia's sake at the wedding when I helped him clean, but we just. don't. click," Agron said and accentuated every syllable to make his meaning clear.

For a brief moment Agron was proud of his lie. It was strong and credible. He just hoped Saxa hadn't sensed the extreme jealousy he was feeling and he cursed himself for not being able to keep his big mouth shut. But he wanted to bash the smirking son of a bitch's face in and he wanted to puke by the thought of Nasir possibly taking a cock bigger than his. Any cock that wasn't his. 

"You are so rude, you're embarrasing me," Saxa hissed and slapped Agron on the chest with her flat palms. 

Agron chose to ignore her. He couldn't deal with this anymore. Just as he turned to leave the kitchen, Pietros and Barca appeared with empty plates in their hands.

"You're leaving already? I made strawberry cheesecake for dessert," Pietros spoke, a look of dissapointment on his face.

"Yes, we are. I'm sorry," Agron said and brushed past Barca and Pietros to go to the living room. Saxa followed him swiftly.

In the living room Nasir and Castus had gotten comfortable on the couch and the coffee table had been set with small cake plates.

"Duro, Liebling, come here. We're leaving," Agron said. Saxa pulled his arm and turned him around to face her.

"You're making a fucking scene. Now you're gonna man up. Let Diona and Duro play and come have dessert with us. I don't fucking know what's gotten into you, you act like a homophobic asshole," she hissed and shot Agron a seething look, before she went to join Nasir and Castus on the couch.

The battle was lost.

"Can I please play some more with Diona, please, papa?" Duro begged Agron, big puppy dog eyes looking up at him.

Saxa didn't even let Agron answer. She waved Duro over to her by the couch. "Ofcourse you can. But don't you want a piece of cake first, baby?" She said softly and lifted Duro up to sit on her lap. 

Barca and Pietros joined them in the living room and placed the delicious looking cake on the table. They all got seated and started chit-chatting. Agron sighed deeply, before he went to sit next to Saxa, a ridiculously sour look on his face.

In his futile attempt to gain new friends, he had come even closer to ruining everything he held dear.

Diona climbed onto Barca's lap and while the two children were munching on their cake, another awkward silence fell between the adults. 

-

They stayed longer than Agron wanted. About an hour later, he got up to go to the bathroom and to be himself, to be alone with his thoughts, even for just a few minutes. He stopped in Barca and Pietros' hallway, fascinated by their photo wall. They had literally dedicated an entire wall to black and white photos in silver frames. 

Most of the pictures were of Diona from when she was a baby to now. In one of the baby photos a woman sat in a hospital bed with Diona in her arms, Barca and Pietros on either side, both of them beaming with joy. Agron figured the woman was the surrogate mom. He _had_ also briefly wondered earlier that evening how it worked, the whole being in a relationship with another man and having a kid sort of stuff. Not that it was something that he would explore. No. Not ever. He wasn't gay.

He glanced down the hallway when he sensed someone coming towards him.

 _Fuck!_ Nasir. Stay fucking calm.

"You know I like your cock the best," Nasir whispered as he slipped past him in the narrow hallway, his voice completely calm.

Agron inhaled sharply and felt his cock twitch in his pants. What the fuck?! He heard Nasir enter the bathroom and turned to follow him. He glanced into the living room to see if any eyes were on them, but they were all busy talking and laughing. How fucking ironic that without Nasir and Agron present the others had no problems making conversation.

Agron followed Nasir down the hallway, the scene seeming way too familiar.

As he closed the door to the bathroom behind him and turned to look at Nasir, Nasir was already tugging on his own belt buckle, opening it and zipping down his pants.

Agron rushed over to him and stilled his hands. "I'm not gonna fuck you, my wife's in the freaking living room. Stop that!"

"It didn't stop you before. You suddenly grow a conscience?" Nasir whispered seductively.

"As should you! Your boyfriend's in there with her. What the fuck is wrong with you? Don't give yourself away so fucking easily," Agron hissed and let go of Nasir's hands to take a step away from him.

"Like I've given myself too easily to Castus? Rebounding from someone? From you?" Nasir asked and raised an eyebrow.

"You're too good for that grinning cunt in there," Agron replied and folded his arms across his chest.

Nasir snorted and shook his head. "Shut up, Agron. You don't know me. You don't _wanna_ know me. I don't know _you_. And you don't fucking know Castus. And what, I'm too good for him, but I'm not good enough for you?"

"I'm not gay," Agron simply reasoned. 

Nasir laughed. He fucking _laughed_.

He turned around and opened the toilet seat. With his back to Agron, he spoke, "Conceited asshole. Fuck you for thinking so little of me. I opened my pants to take a fucking piss."

"Oh, I'm sorry. It's just that when someone says they like my cock it's usually because they wanna fuck," Agron shrugged, voice thick with irony.

"I just thought you should know. You should've seen your face when I confirmed that Castus' cock is big as fuck. I did you a favor out in the hallway just before. Your masculinity was threatened." Nasir flushed and tugged his cock back inside his pants. He put down the toilet seat and washed his hands, before he turned around to face Agron.

He came closer and his expression softened. "But I wasn't lying. I like your white cock a whole lot," he grinned and looked fucking adorable.

Agron took in a sharp breath of air and closed his eyes as he reveled in the feel of Nasir's body so close to his again.

"We shouldn't be getting into this mess again," he sighed and opened his eyes to look at Nasir. 

Nasir nodded. "We're not going to. I don't cheat." He took a step away from Agron, zipped his jeans back up and closed the belt buckle. The sound was like nails on a blackboard and Agron was fucking terrified they would get caught in the fucking bathroom together. What had he been thinking going out there?

They didn't say anything for long seconds after that. They just looked at each other and Agron wondered briefly how fast he would be able to come and how quiet he would be able to be if he really quickly fucked that delicious mouth of Nasir's. Nasir wasn't a cheater, but fuck, Agron was. A horrible, untrustworthy cheating husband.

He decided against the blow job and put his hands in his pockets to prevent himself from reaching out and touching Nasir. Not a cheater. No more.

"You in love with that schmuck?" He asked instead, because he had to say _something_.

"I guess so. Why shouldn't I be? He's nice and handsome. The sex is good," Nasir shrugged. 

Agron visibly flinched. 

"It tears me up inside to see you with him," he whispered, his voice so low that his words only barely were audible. He hadn't meant to expose his heart to Nasir, but it was killing him. Even though he knew he had no fucking right to be jealous.

Nasir frowned his forehead, overwhelmed with emotion. Was Agron coming to his senses? "I didn't know you were coming tonight, I swear. I didn't bring him just to show off," Nasir spoke softly. 

"I know. And I'm sorry for being a fucking asshole tonight. And always, I guess... Saxa's really fucking pissed, too," Agron smiled sadly, his eyes avoiding Nasir's. 

Again, silence. 

"Well, I, um... I hope you'll be happy," Agron finally said and glanced up to meet Nasir's eyes.

"You too," Nasir nodded.

And that was it. Agron slipped out of the bathroom.

In the car home he felt better than he had felt in months. Saxa said nothing to him the entire drive and Duro slept in the backseat. 

But Agron was content. Somehow he had gotten closure.

-

Agron was doing well. Great, even. Whoever said that you can't choose your sexuality? Agron had chosen not to be attracted to a man ever again. He was no longer thinking about or lusting after Nasir. His talk with the other man at Barca and Pietros' had been really fucking therapeutic. He was over him. Or so he thought. 

It was about a month later, when he one morning in December entered a Starbucks a couple of minutes drive from his office. He didn't come there often. He had only been there once or twice with Spartacus on one of their short breaks, getting much needed frapuccinos for everyone on particularly hot days. 

His favorite place used to be that nice little spot on the corner just across from his office, but he had stayed away since he learned that Nasir had begun working there.

He got behind the long line and inhaled the glorious scent of freshly brewed coffee as he casually glanced around the shop.

His heart caught in his throat, when he saw what he had least expected.

_Nasir._

And fucking Castus...

Nasir and Castus sat at a table in the corner, their fingers tangled together while they were sharing loving looks and soft kisses.

Agron's pulse was racing as he moved towards their table. He didn't even know what he was doing until he felt extreme pain shoot up through his arm as his fist connected with Castus' jaw.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! And please let me know what you thought of this chapter!
> 
> Next up, Agron and Nasir learn more about each other!
> 
> German translations:  
> Bist du zwölf Jahre alt? = Are you twelve years old?  
> Nein, beruhige dich, bitte! = No, calm down, please!  
> Liebling and Schatz = expressions of love like "darling" and "sweetheart"  
> (Hope the German is correct! If not, please correct me.)
> 
> And in case you're in doubt about what they say about African cocks: penis size studies of 113 nationalities show that African men generally have larger sized penises than men in e.g. Europe and Asia. I had no luck finding out where Blessing Mokgohloa (Castus) was born, but yeah, I wanted to portray Agron as a bit of an inconsiderate asshole in this chapter. Asking Castus about his cock size as an African man was very presumptuous as he had no chance of knowing where Castus was born. But well, Nasir confirmed Agron's fears, I guess. I sincerely hope I offended no one! Info source: http://digitaljournal.com/article/333932


	5. Friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so can I just say that I am so moved and overwhelmed by all the positive feedback I've gotten on this fic? You guys are so kind and it makes me smile and motivates me to keep on writing. Thank you so so so much - for reading, for commenting, for loving this fic as much as I'm loving writing it.
> 
> Once again, I apologize for the delay on this chapter. However, I am wrapping up the semester in school and just got a new job next to my studies, so I am very busy. I hope you understand. I have no intentions of abandoning this fic and have already outlined the next couple of chapters.
> 
> This chapter is mo-fo long, but you guys deserve it for waiting so patiently. 
> 
> And yes, I went from fuckasagod to cocksandcapua! 
> 
> Enjoy this one, peeps!

Castus fell to the floor with a loud thud, pulling the table down with him. Cups and plates shattering, coffee splattering on the floor and Nasir's horrified shriek were the only noises that could be heard for a few, long breath-holding seconds. 

Agron was seeing red. He was on Castus with a roar, throwing another solid punch in, landing it right on his opponent's nose. 

Castus retaliated quickly and surged forward, headbutting Agron and sending the tall German stumbling backwards. Castus got up on his legs surprisingly fast, blood running from his nose as he uncoordinately swung his arms about him.

Agron ducked under most of Castus' sloppy attempts, but could not avoid the forceful punch to his gut that sent ripples of pain through his torso. He took another punch to the cheek and he lost focus for a brief moment.

Then he took a lurching step forward, sending his knee into Castus' ribs and landing an uppercut to his chin. Castus fell backwards and Agron was on him again.

He grabbed a rough hold on Castus' collar and threw in punch after punch on the other man's face, the sound of bone breaking and gristle crunching stomach-churningly loud. 

"Stop! Agron! For fucks sake!" Nasir yelled, yanking in vain on Agron's bicep. "Stop!" 

It was as if time had frozen in the coffee shop. Some customers were screaming, others were shaking their heads and leaving, and the ones closest to the fight backed as far away as possible, sipping their coffees from a safe distance, looking on as if it was a fucking show. The baristas had run to the back of the shop, probably to call the manager for help. However the response was, all attention was inevitably on the two fighting men. 

Somewhere in the distance sirens could be heard. They were getting closer and closer with each passing second. Someone had called the fucking cops. Fuck. 

Castus' finger nails were clawing at Agron's forearm in an attempt to shove him off, but after spitting blood out on the floor he laughed victoriously. 

"Does your wife know that you're in love with him? _Does she?!_ " Castus roared and flashed his bloody teeth. Then he laughed again, mockingly, hauntingly.

Agron's face fell. He slowly loosened his grip on Castus' collar before he let go entirely. He took a step back from the man on the floor, who was writhing in pain. Castus put a hand over his nose and cried out in agony. That nose was broken for sure.

Agron was panting, his body tense and his heart racing. What Castus said wasn't true. _It wasn't true._

Nasir's hand was still on Agron's arm, but no longer pulling and tugging. He was stroking the heated skin in soothing circles and Agron willed his breathing to calm down. 

He glanced down and met Nasir's eyes. The brown eyes meeting his were not angry but rather surprised and confused, as if some big secret had just been revealed.

Agron swallowed hard, guilt and shame washing over him. Commotion could be heard by the entrance of the Starbucks, but Agron didn't really register it before someone was yelling at him.

"Fucking _freeze_ , asshole," a police officer growled, coming closer to where Nasir and Agron stood. His gun wasn't pointed but his left hand was clutching it in his belt, ready to draw it if Agron did something unexpected.

"Agron," Nasir spoke softly, his soft hand still on Agron's arm as he frantically searched his eyes.

Agron wouldn't look at him again. This whole situation was blown out of proportions and it was embarrassing. He felt as if he was in some lousy crime TV show, and all because he hadn't been able to control his anger and... jealousy. How the fuck was he going to get out of this? He had ruined _everything_. This was it. Saxa would know. She would find out. And he was never going to see either Nasir or his wife and kid again. He'd probably never see anything again but the pale yellowish inside of a prison cell.

Castus wasn't even fucking worth it. Agron couldn't or wouldn't decide whether Nasir was.

"You are under arrest for assault. Read him his fucking rights," the officer informed him and barked orders to his colleagues.

"Agron," Nasir whispered again, his voice thick with emotion.

Two officers manhandled Agron out of Nasir's grip, treating him as if he was some homicidal repeat offender. They synchronically mumbled his rights to him, as they led him towards the exit in a firm hold.

Agron glanced back to see Nasir falling to his knees by Castus' side, helping him up in a sitting position. An officer ran to check on them and another officer did his best to calm down the shocked customers.

-

"Was it a gay bash? Were you provoked by the two men kissing?"

Agron looked at the officer across from him. The handcuffs were digging into the skin of his wrists, nearly drawing blood. The dark interrogation room was only lit up by a high watt table lamp. Two officers were standing by the door, ready to act if Agron should attempt escape. Fucking ridiculous was what it was.

"No," Agron muttered. "I was not provoked."

"Well, something must've triggered you. Or do you just enjoy violence? You one of them sick fucks getting off on beating other people up?" The officer asked nonchalantly.

Agron rolled his eyes. "It's not like that. I know them. _Him._ I know them both."

The officer looked up and stared at him, waiting for him to continue. 

"I... I- I was jealous," Agron finally spoke, his voice so low that it was nearly a whisper. He hadn't cared to admit it, but it was the fucking truth.

"Jealous?" The officer repeated and leaned forward, his forearms resting on the table.

"I, um... I was close... " Agron took a deep breath before he tentatively continued, " _friends_ with Nasir - the other man - some time ago. We were close friends. We haven't seen each other in a while," Agron spoke slowly. "Our friendship kinda went down the drain when he met Castus." 

The officer scoffed. "When you say 'friends'...?"

"I _mean_ fucking friends," Agron snarled. Fucking cop assuming that just because Nasir was gay he and Agron had been more than just friends. "I'm married and I love my wife. Nasir and I were just friends and I merely missed his... _friendship_." Agron swallowed hard and considered his lie for a moment.

"And this _Nasir_... Will he consider you his _friend_ too?"

"I don't know. We kinda split on bad terms," Agron shrugged.

"What bad terms?" The officer pressed.

"It's fucking private, okay?" Agron hissed. He wouldn't share anything with these fucking cops.

"Fine. You know, you're up to your knees in shit," the officer said. "Officer Glaber, get a hold of this Nasir. We'll have his version of the story, too."

"Yes, sir," one of the officers guarding the door nodded. He turned around and left the interrogation room. 

Agron felt sick. He felt the need to throw up, bile gathering in his throat. He choked it back.

A knock was on the door and a young blonde woman appeared. "Officer Crassus? Apologies to disturb you, but we just received his report." 

The officer nodded at the young woman and got up from his seat. "Thank you, Illythia." He looked at Agron on his way out. "Wait here. I'll return in a moment."

Agron raised his cuffed hands and mockingly said, "I ain't going nowhere."

True to his words, the officer returned a few moments later.

He cleared his throat, before he spoke. "So, Agron..."

"I can see here in your records that your brother Duro was killed in a hit and run back in Germany and that you witnessed it." Agron clenched his jaw at the officer's words. 

"You had to see a therapist a long time after that and was actually diagnosed as..." The officer paused and flicked through the thick report until he apparently found the page he was looking for. Then he looked up at Agron and finished his sentence, "... severely depressed and mentally unstable. Is that correct?"

Agron nodded stiffly. 

"Well, in that case I guess you're a lucky man. Because of the diagnosis you received back then you'll probably get off easy. I suspect a fine the size of your monthly wage and community service. You will probably have to start seeing a therapist again too. But we're keeping you here for a few days until a court determines your punishment."

"A few days? What about my wife? And my job?"

"Your wife's been informed. We're obligated to inform closest family. And she's on her way. Your job, well... You're gonna have to call them yourself and tell them where you are and why you won't be coming in the next couple of days."

"Fuck," Agron mumbled. How was he going to be able to see Saxa and explain to her what the fuck had happened when he didn't even know himself?

He made the phone call to his office. He told the truth, because they would learn about it anyway. He told his boss he'd take a couple of days off to recover from this ordeal and that he hoped he was welcomed back, when he was on top again. His boss, Lucius, was an elderly and stern man, but he could also be kind and understanding. He promised Agron that they would look forward to seeing him back at the office with "renewed energy". Agron figured Lucius didn't quite understand that it was not a vacation he was going on, but he thanked him and hung up. 

He handed over his personal items to the officer and followed him to the cell where he was to spend the next couple of days. His handcuffs were released and the door was locked. As expected, the inside of the cell was the most gloomy and depressing thing Agron had ever seen.

-

Agron occupied himself by thinking about his work and the assignments he had been to do that morning, when he was supposed to meet at the office. He did a few mathematical equations in his head relating to the profit of their new Hepatitis C medicament, which had been well received on the market. 

He didn't know how many hours passed, but suddenly the door to his cell was opened and Saxa was let in.

"Agron," she said and came towards him.

Agron got up from the bed, more relieved than ever to see his wife's beautiful face. "Baby. Hey," he said and clasped her elbow, drawing her in for a quick peck on the lips.

"What's going on? What happened?" she asked desperately, her hair wild around her face. She looked like she had dropped everything in her hands to come and see him. Agron could tell from her heavy breathing that she had bicycled to the station, which made sense since their car was still parked by the Starbucks.

"Where's Duro?" Agron asked, because he had _really_ hoped Saxa had brought his son.

"I left him with Sura," she replied and Agron felt sick with disappointment. "What _happened_?" Saxa then repeated.

Agron shrugged. "I... I don't know what to say." Because what could he say? He hadn't thought this through. He just attacked Castus with no concern towards his future. His future with Saxa and his future with Nasir, if there was one at all with either. 

"I can't fucking believe you got into a fight! Let me look at you," Saxa sighed in exasperation as she took a good look at Agron's swollen cheek and bloody lip.

As she examined him, Agron looked away.

"Why Castus, though? That's a weird coincidence," she then asked what Agron had dreaded.

"I don't know. I guess I just felt provoked by him the night we ate dinner with them at Barca's and Pietros'. And then I saw them. And I... What did the cops tell you?"

"That you'll probably get off easy because of your past. That you'll have to see a therapist again. Why don't you talk to me? When you feel your world's falling apart and you miss your brother, why don't you talk to me? You used to tell me everything. You're pushing me away," Saxa said, her tone melancholic as she searched Agron's eyes.

"No, I'm not. That's not my intention, I swear," Agron replied, his voice steadfast to assure Saxa of his abiding love for her.

Saxa was quiet for a few moments. Then she looked up, her lips drawn tight.

"Agron, are you seeing someone else?"

"I - no!" Her question took Agron aback. He didn't really know why he was surprised. He had been acting completely out of character since he met Nasir, but as he had done before he decided to lie. He wasn't ready for her to know.

"I know you think I'm stupid, but I'm not," Saxa muttered.

"I don't think you're stupid," Agron said and placed his hands on her upper arms. "New Year's Eve is coming up and it's been ten years. I'm always tentative about talking about my brother, but I guess I'm just a little more on edge than usual."

Agron couldn't stand himself. Here his beautiful wife was, vulnerable and honest, and he was lying straight to her face. He had a selfish desire to have it all, because fuck, he loved Saxa. So, so much. 

"On edge? Agron, you beat up a man!"

"I beat up people before we met, too. I was in a deep black hole and you helped me out. And you've been helping me ever since. Look, my love... you have _no_ reason to worry."

"You promise it's just because of the anniversary coming up?" Saxa asked cautiously, her voice calmer than it was before.

"I... Yes. I'm not losing my mind or anything like that." Only he felt like he was. 

"I don't want you around my son if you're violent," she said and shook her head.

"Fuck! Are you not listening?!" Agron growled, clenching his fists and dwelling in the pain it caused his sore knuckles.

"Agron," Saxa warned, her eyes narrowing. 

"Sorry. I just... I kinda _am_ losing my mind in here. I just wanna go home and everything'll be fine," he spoke, softly this time.

"I miss my family. I'm gonna take Duro to Germany," Saxa then said.

Agron's jaw dropped. No, this wasn't real, this was not happening. 

Seeing the look on her husband's face, Saxa quickly continued. "Just on vacation. Two weeks or so. We'll be home in time for Christmas and New Year's Eve. To make sure you don't fucking kill anyone. Or yourself. But I think you and I just need a little time apart."

Agron shook his head. "No, I don't think that. I don't think we need that. _Please_ ," he pleaded.

"Agron, goddamit! Everyone's talking about how you beat up a gay guy in fucking public. I can't have my son exposed to that," she hissed and furrowed her brows.

"He's my son, too!"

Saxa was just silent, avoiding Agron's gaze.

A thought occurred to Agron. "You're not even gonna let me say goodbye to him, are you?" 

"We're just gonna jump on the first plane," Saxa shrugged. "Tomorrow morning."

"You're seriously leaving?" Agron whispered, tears burning in his eyes. He couldn't stand the thought that he was confined to this cell. That he couldn't kiss his baby boy goodbye, that he couldn't fucking go with them. But Saxa didn't want him there.

"Yeah."

"I need you _here_. I need your support. I don't have anybody. What if they're gonna lock me up for good?" Agron knew it was a lot to demand from her, since he was the one who had been fucking someone else behind her back. But he was a desperate man.

"They're not."

Agron nodded, reluctantly accepting her descision.

Then he reached out, grabbed the back of her head and roughly pressed his lips to hers. The kiss was desperate and hot. He licked the seam of her bottom lip, demanding entrance to her mouth. She obliged and he shoved his tongue inside as his hand fell to the small of her back, pressing their bodies close. Saxa moaned into the kiss and put her one hand on Agron's chest, the other grasping the short hair at the nape of his neck. 

When their lips parted Agron plastered a trail of gentle kisses along her cheek, jaw and neck. He placed a last kiss on her forehead before he spoke. 

"I love you. You're coming back to me," he whispered hotly. And he meant it. 

Saxa nodded, panting for breath. "I love you, too. Two weeks."

Agron hoped she meant it too.

-

Another few hours passed and Agron figured it had become late evening outside, but there was no way for him to know. The cell didn't even have a fucking window. He was on his back on the bed, just staring up into the ceiling, where the white paint was cracked. 

Once again, his cell door was opened. Agron sat up but when he saw who was let into his cell he got up on his feet.

"Nasir," he whispered and took a few steps towards the little man.

A wave of emotions came over Agron at seeing Nasir. He had just kissed Saxa goodbye - his wife had fucking left for Germany because he was a fuck-up - and still the sight of Nasir left Agron breathless with a weird flutter in his stomach.

"Hey," Nasir said, taking a step back and keeping a safe distance between them as if he was afraid. 

It broke Agron's heart. 

A few moments passed where they both stayed silent and didn't dare to look at each other. Agron gulped, before he spoke.

"Look, I screwed up and I'm sorry, okay? I'm really..." Agron's voice broke, "fucking sorry."

Nasir looked up at last. "He's not pressing charges. I convinced him not to," he said, his voice soft and warm.

"Why?" Agron asked, genuinely confused about the kindness of these two men whom he had hurt so badly.

Nasir gestured to the bed with his hand and they both moved to sit next to each other, still with a safe distance between them.

"You didn't tell me about your brother."

"I never told you anything. We just fucked, we never talked," Agron shrugged but his voice was filled with sadness. He sighed before he continued, "How is he?"

Nasir took a deep breath. "He's fine. He'll be fine. They fixed his nose back in place and got him some pain killers. I walked him home and he's sleeping now. I got a call that they wanted to question me here. They wanted me to confirm your story."

Agron didn't dare ask if Nasir had confirmed the story or if he'd revealed the truth.

"I'm really fucking sorry, Nasir," Agron whispered instead and leaned forward to rest his arms on his knees.

"What happened back then?" Nasir asked and Agron glanced over his shoulder to look at the beautiful man next to him.

He was quiet for a long while, not knowing whether or not he felt comfortable opening up to Nasir. He knew it would make him more vulnerable than ever, but somehow Nasir made him feel safe.

"Duro was... my best friend. I mean, he _was_ my baby brother, but we were closer than most. We did everything together..."

"Duro?" Nasir smiled.

Agron smiled back, "Yeah. When we got our baby boy, there was no discussion about the name. And Saxa knew it." 

"So what happened to him?"

Agron was quiet again. He took a deep breath before he began.

"He wasn't supposed to die. If I had just been a little fucking responsible," he whispered, more to himself than to Nasir.

Then he leaned back, his back resting against the cold wall. He turned his head to look Nasir in the eyes as he spoke.

"He was the one with the brains, you know?" Agron smiled a sad smile. "He wanted to become a doctor. He had it all planned out. He was gonna finish high school at the top of his class. Go on to uni and become the best surgeon out there. My parents were so proud of him. For his maturity, his ambitions. You know how it's always taboo for parents to say that they love their one child more than the other? My parents probably loved Duro more. But I didn't care. I could feel it, but I wasn't bitter. Because no one in the world loved him more than I did." He closed his eyes, reminiscing. When he opened them again he was overwhelmed by the way Nasir was looking at him. Nasir's beautiful dark eyes were so warm and full of compassion.

It encouraged Agron to carry on. "It was New Years Eve. I was 18, Duro had just turned 17. We were so fucking drunk... We had dinner that night with our parents and a couple of friends of theirs. Then we snuck out and got fucking wasted in the bushes. We stole a bottle of Jack D from our dad's cabinet and we just emptied it," Agron shook his head at the memory.

"The party was far away, so we had to take the bus. I had just gotten my driver's license, but at least we were responsible enough to not sneak away in our dad's car."

"The night busses drove once an hour. We knew what time it left, but the walk down to the bus stop had just taken us forever. We stumbled drunkenly on the sidewalk. Laughing and talking. About girls, about getting him laid, about... I don't even remember," Agron bit his lip, cursing himself for not remembering something that was so important, for not remembering every second he spent with Duro. He continued, "So, anyway... We were late."

"The bus was already there. And y'know... It's back doors opened and let people out. It's front doors let people in," Agron told and mimicked the bus door's movements with his arms. Nasir smiled sadly, his warm gaze never leaving Agron's face. 

"And I..." Agron snorted and furrowed his brows. "We wanted to go to that fucking party so bad." He spit out those last words, hating them and hating his ignorant 18-year old self.

"So I ran ahead. There was a red light for us. But I ran across the street anyway. It was the middle of the night, there was nobody else on the road. I figured if I could just get to the bus I could stop the driver, make him wait for us."

"I was almost halfway into the bus. I had just expected Duro to be right behind me. I didn't even think to look back, to see if he had followed. And then I heard the collision."

Agron swallowed and then let out a breath. Nasir was silent and Agron could almost hear the beating of both their hearts.

"He died immediately. The driver drove way too fast and he left the scene without even stopping."

"Agron, I'm so sorry," Nasir whispered. 

Agron nodded slightly, before he continued. "I wanted to kill him. I wanted to kill that fucking driver. And so I began drinking. And getting into bar fights. Having lots and lots of meaningless sex with easy girls. Just getting my aggressions out." 

"I was a mess. My parents were messes. They got divorced. I think they blamed me. Hell, I blamed myself. Duro died for a fucking party. Can you believe that?" Agron asked, but not really expecting an answer from Nasir. "It should have been me," he continued. "If I had just crossed that street just a few seconds later, it had been me lying in the ground now."

"Don't say that. It wasn't your fault," Nasir said, his voice choking.

Agron sullenly continued, "I got arrested one night. I was fucking drunk. I was beating up the owner of a black Opel Astra. The car was the same as the one that had killed Duro. But the driver wasn't the same man and I fucking knew it. But I beat him up. When the cops came I was crying and screaming. I began therapy after that. I spend so many hours in that fucking chair, talking to a stranger. But it helped. I pulled myself together. I applied for uni to honor my brother. Turns out I had a little brain after all," Agron smiled to himself. "Numbers and mathematics made sense to me, it calmed me down. I met Saxa and she... She saved my life. I never saw my parents again and when Saxa and I graduated, we moved here," he finished and shrugged, as if he was content with the situation as it was now. 

Nasir nodded and gave another smile, this one not as sad as the others had been. Agron looked at his face, his beautiful face, and he suddenly struggled to get air in his lungs. He was surprised by how easy it was to talk to Nasir, how comfortable he was. How amazing it felt to have this beautiful man listening to him, comforting him. Agron tried to recall if he had ever told Saxa as much as he had just revealed to Nasir.

"Every day I mourn Duro's death. Every day I feel hurt and anger because of the injustice of it all. The pain has lessened over the years, but it's still there, carved deep inside of me," Agron told and took in a sharp breath.

"The cops can think whatever they want. They can think that I'm a homophobic asshole who beats up gay people in public places. Hell, everyone in this fucking city thinks that now. I mean, it's probably true that I have anger issues rooting in what happened back then. That I sometimes can't control myself. And that I need therapy to deal with my sorrow again. I don't know..." 

"If it gets me off the hook and out of this shit hole, I'll pretend that losing my brother is the reason I beat up Castus. But Duro died so many years ago. His death is not why I beat up Castus. I beat him up for you," Agron paused and shook his head slightly as if he couldn't believe what he was saying. He glanced at Nasir before he continued, "And... And I don't know what that means."

Nasir swallowed hard, his brows furrowed. This time he didn't meet Agron's eyes and he didn't say anything, but he didn't have to. Agron knew what he had just said was confusing to them both.

"Is it true? What Castus said?" Nasir finally interrupted the silence, his voice steadfast as if he had been wanting to ask that question for a long time, and had finally gathered enough courage.

"What?"

"That you're in love with me?"

"No," Agron immediately replied. "I-I... Like I said, I don't know..." He sighed deeply, his breath shaky as he ran his sore, bloody hands across his face.

"I don't know," he repeated, his voice choking. "I don't know what any of this means. My wife's taking my son to Germany because she's fucking embarrassed. And I keep lying to her and it's killing me."

"Nasir, I am trying so hard not to feel this way. But I can't help myself. Six months ago I had never even looked twice at another man. Now you're all... you're all I fucking think about."

Agron's voice hitched on his last words and silence fell between the two, as they both took in what Agron had just admitted not only to Nasir but also to himself. 

Nasir let out a shaky breath and moved his hand to slowly place it on Agron's thigh. It was the first time they had touched since Nasir had been let into his cell, but there was nothing sexual about it; it was soothing and had the same calming effect as his hand on Agron's arm earlier that day.

Agron's breath caught in his throat. He looked down at Nasir's hand and had the overwhelming urge to take it in his own, let the warmth of it heal him and comfort him. He wanted to trace the lines in the palm, glide his fingers softly over the barely visible veins. He needed a physical connection with Nasir.

He hesitantly reached out and placed his one bruised hand on top of Nasir's, his other resting slack in his own lap. He was afraid to look up and meet Nasir's eyes, even though he could feel the other man's gaze on him. 

Tears welled in Agron's eyes but he would not let them fall, so he kept his eyes downcast. If he looked at Nasir he was sure to spill the tears and he had shown enough weakness for one day.

Nasir placed his free hand on Agron's swollen cheek and softly turned and tilted his head up so that their eyes could meet. When they did, Nasir gave Agron a small smile but his bottom lip was trembling. Tears were in his eyes too, as his hand carefully caressed Agron's cheek.

Agron noticed that Nasir's eyes dropped to his mouth and his chest suddenly fluttered with anticipation. He turned his torso towards Nasir's and raised his hand to bury it in black locks. He let out a sigh as he cupped Nasir's jaw and slowly slid his thumb along his plumb bottom lip.

A tremor went through Nasir. His mouth fell open slightly as a gasp escaped him. 

Agron carefully leaned forward and rested his forehead on Nasir's in a loving gesture. His own split bottom lip had him briefly worrying that Nasir would be able to taste blood when their lips met. 

And this kiss would mean something else, something different. The only times they had kissed they had both been pissed out of their minds, horny and desperate. Their kisses had been rough, teeths biting and pulling. The thought that this would be their first sober kiss, their first soft and loving one had Agron's heart beating out of his chest.

It was fucking foolish. Like Nasir had said that night at Barca's and Pietros'; he and Agron didn't even know each other. Agron knew exactly two things about Nasir: one, Nasir was insanely beautiful. Like, Adonis beautiful. Two, his ass was fucking amazing. Was it love? It hardly could be.

Not only was it foolish, but it was also disrespectful as hell and Agron knew it. His heart was split. He had momentarily chased away his wife, despite his reluctance to ever let her go. He could almost still taste her on his lips. And yet here he was, sharing a deeply emotional moment with the reason for so much of his recent misery.

But god, this was what he wanted. Nasir. Close to him again. This felt so right.

They were so close, their shaky breaths mingling and their lips mere inches apart. They licked their lips simultaneously, just a quick move of their tongues along the sensitive flesh, preparing themselves for what was to come. A split second before Agron closed his lips over Nasir's upper lip in the sweetest kiss, there was a knock on the door before a key rattled in the lock.

Nasir and Agron jumped apart.

An officer appeared in the door, the same one who had been in the interrogation room earlier, Glaber or something. "Time's up," he said and looked at the two flustered men with a raised eyebrow. "I'll escort you to the exit." He waved for Nasir to come over to him. 

Nasir immediately obeyed and got up. Agron mourned the loss of his close presence and the kiss that wasn't. 

Nasir turned his head and glanced at him before he slipped out of the cell. The officer turned around, smirking at Agron, "Just friends, huh?" He scoffed, before he too dissapeared out of the cell, closing and locking the door behind him.

Agron collapsed on the bed. It was hard as a board, but he was emotionally and physically exhausted and asleep within a minute. 

-

Next morning Agron was woken up by officer Crassus hovering over him. 

"Rise and shine, pretty boy," the officer said and shook Agron's shoulders.

Agron groaned and stretched his sore body.

"Get up, get out. We don't wanna waste anymore time or room on you. You broke his nose. He got in a few good punches, too," officer Crassus said and gestured to the bruise on Agron's cheek.

"Now go on home with you. You'll receive a letter from us dictating your punishment and whether or not we want you to meet up in court. And we don't wanna see you in here again, so stay out of trouble, hm?"

"Yes, sir," Agron nodded and stood.

"And the next time you two wanna beat the shit out of each over a piece of ass -"

Agron sighed in exasperation as his personal items, his phone, his keys and wallet, were handed back to him, "We did not fight over a piece of ass."

"Just don't fucking do it in public where there's children and women and old people, alright?" officer Crassus said, as if he had not heard one word of what Agron said.

"It won't happen again," Agron simply said.

"Glad to hear it," the officer smiled and gestured to Glaber and another officer to lead Agron out of his cell.

Agron was led out into the courtyard of the station, the morning sun bright and sharp on his face. 

"Y'know, Nasir confirmed your story. He misses your _friendship_ , too," officer Glaber remarked and winked.

Agron didn't care and wasn't angered about the insinuating tone in Glaber's voice.

He just smiled and his heart swelled just a little bit.

The officers said their goodbyes and went back into the building. Agron decided to walk down to the Starbucks to get his car. He would very discreetly slip into the car and then never show his face there again.

As he walked, he felt his phone vibrating in his pants. He fished it out of his pocket and looked at the screen. He had gotten a text from an unknown number. 

_They let you out yet? I got your number from Crixus' phone when I visited him and Naevia. Fuck, I almost got caught looking in his phone. But I need to see you. - N_

_Fuck, I need to see you too,_ Agron thought, but he didn't type it in his phone.

Instead he took in a sharp breath and looked up. The sun stung his eyes. Fucking December in Australia. Right now he missed German winters. He could be on a plane right now with his wife and kid, spend two weeks building snowmen at his parents-in-law's house. Instead he was here, his body burning from the sun and an undeniable desire for Nasir.

He knew he shouldn't. He should ignore the text, ignore Nasir. He should just get his life back on right track and start seeing that therapist. Maybe she could help him not only with his grief and anger issues, but also his other issues involving his cock's sudden preference for man. He needed to shut Nasir completely out of his life in order to go back to where he was and to gain Saxa's forgiveness and respect again.

He swallowed hard, before he typed his reply. 

_Where are you?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I know nothing about the legal system, much less how it works in Australia. Let's just say, anything can happen in the world of fiction. I couldn't have Agron beat up a man in public without consequences. I couldn't put my main man in prison either. 
> 
> Let me know what you thought of this chapter :)
> 
> Next up, hopefully a little fluff and kisses!


	6. Autograph Of Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Is not a kiss the very autograph of love?" - Henry Finck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been forever and I am so sorry! Busy real fucking life. Hope ya'll ain't mad at me and that I haven't lost any of my glorious readers.
> 
> This chapter is monster-long, I hope you'll enjoy!

Three knocks on a wooden door in a too familiar hotel. 

Agron swallowed hard and fiddled nervously with his hands. He didn't know what to except from this. He knew damn well how he wanted this to go, and at the same time that very thought scared the shit out of him. The loss of control he felt around Nasir was frightening. 

But they needed to talk. That's what this was about, wasn't it? Agron would definitely - or most certainly try his best - not to succumb to anything more.

Three more knocks.

Nasir was taking too long opening the door. Agron glanced down the hallway and a thought occured to him; what he was doing was madness. Saxa had left because of him, because of _this_ , what he was doing right this second. Agron felt disgusted with himself for giving in so easily to Nasir's text, for needing this so badly. For assuming that Nasir wanted the same.

A picture appeared in Agron's head of the last time he had been with Nasir, in that very same hotel. He recalled how aroused he had been - several times that night - and how Nasir had wanted him just as badly. If Agron imagined it hard enough, he could almost feel the heat and tightness of Nasir around him, and his cock twitched in his pants. The sensation brought Agron back and he angrily shook the image of himself thrusting his way to intense pleasure out of his head.

No matter how much Agron wanted to talk to Nasir and get to know him, Agron realized that deep down he couldn't ignore the suffocating lust that came over him every time Nasir was near. He knew that he wouldn't be able to resist touching him, resist the desire to have sex with him.

With that recognition, Agron promptly turned down the hallway to leave.

"Hey," a tentative voice said behind him from where he had just stood.

Agron turned on his heel at the sound of Nasir's voice. 

And there it was. The suffocation. The fast heartbeats. The feelings he couldn't control.

"Were you leaving?" Nasir asked.

"No," Agron lied.

"It sure looked like it," Nasir shrugged, a look of disappointment on his face.

"Y'know, it was a bad idea to come here. I should just go home." If Agron had to leave, he had to leave now. Because Nasir was beautiful, so handsome, his hair loose and curly in the ends. He was wearing a simple white t-shirt that clung to his body and dark blue tight pants. Always tight pants.

"No. Please. We can't keep avoiding each other. Come on in," Nasir said and made room in the doorway for Agron. 

Fuck, Agron wasn't going anywhere. He nodded and put his hands in his jeans pockets, as he slipped past Nasir into the room.

"How are you?" Nasir asked, as he closed the door and came to stand in front of Agron.

Awkward. Fucking awkward.

"Good. Yeah, I'm-I'm okay. A little beat. A prison bed isn't exactly comfortable."

"Well, get in bed then," Nasir said and gestured to the bed.

"What?" Agron's voice sounded far away to himself and there was a slight ringing to his ears. Fuck, Nasir wasn't wasting any time.

"I didn't mean it like that. You can sleep. I'll go for a walk or read or something," Nasir replied softly.

"If I'd wanted to sleep, I would've just went home."

The insinuation of Agron's words hang in the air for a few moments, before Nasir laughed and shook his head.

"Are you flirting with me, Agron? Not just trying to get me into bed, are you?" He smirked, not in a seductive way but rather an amused and playful way. 

Nasir made a sex joke. A joke at the expense of what they had done. Was that where they were now? In that place where they'd be able to move past it and joke about it? They _did_ have friends in common, and Nasir was right, they couldn't avoid each other forever. Better talk it out like bros and move on. So could they really be _just_ friends and pretend that the sex they had had with each other hadn't been fucking mind-blowing?

Agron doubted it and yet he found himself chuckling at Nasir's jest. "I just meant, you know... We could talk. Like bros," he said, using the word that had just popped into his mind, the word that could in no way describe his relationship with Nasir, but maybe it would be able to one day. "You could tell me about you." He moved to sit on the bed.

Nasir nodded, a smile spreading across his face and with that some of the tension was lifted.

"You're right. I learned some stuff about you yesterday. And we also almost kissed," Nasir mumbled, once again addressing the giant elephant in the room with a more serious tone. Agron tensed and looked away, recalling how close their lips had been and wanting to feel that sensation again, despite himself. 

"But we'll move past it. Like _bros_ ," Nasir emphasized the word, probably finding it just as inadequate as Agron did. "I promise I'll tell a little about myself. But, seriously, Agron... don't you wanna get some rest first? Sleep for a few hours. I got some studying to do anyway and when you wake up, I'll make sure there's breakfast for you. You look seriously beat."

Agron glanced from his seat on the bed to the mirror above the table across from him. His face was still bruised and it actually looked worse than it had done the day before. His eyes were also bloodshot from lack of decent sleep and he had swollen bags beneath them. 

"Thank you," Agron nodded, as he became acutely aware of how tired he really was. Arguing with Nasir on this would be pointless. 

He kicked off his shoes and pulled his pull-over off. His t-shirt underneath got caught and crawled up his stomach, revealing miles of smooth skin. Nasir's gaze did not go unnoticed by him, despite the other man's attempt at hiding it. The silence was awkward, until Nasir cleared his throat and pulled out a big book from his bag pack.

Agron got under the sheets, the soft bed the most welcome sensation underneath his tired body.

"'Night," he mumbled into the pillow.

Nasir smiled because the sun was high upon the sky outside, and within seconds Agron's breath became heavy and Nasir knew that sleep had claimed him. 

-

Hours later Agron blinked his eyes open, taking a moment to remember where he was. Not at home. Not in a prison cell. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Nasir. He was curled up in a chair, his legs under him as he was reading intensely.

"What you reading?" Agron said, his voice hoarse.

Nasir looked up and smiled. "You're awake." He gestured to his book and answered Agron's question, "Antique architecture. Ancient Roman buildings."

"Like the construction of arenas for gladiator fights and stuff?" Agron asked and scratched at his eye with a clenched fist.

"Yeah," Nasir nodded and closed his book. "It's heavy stuff." 

Agron suddenly became nervous, because he was awake and Nasir was done reading, and now they were looking at each other. Should he speak? Or was Nasir gonna say something? It had been so much easier when they had been drunk.

"I bought a croissant and a banana for you," Nasir got up from his chair and brought the breakfast with him. 

"Thank you," Agron said and sat up in bed, his hair mussed from sleep. 

As Nasir handed him the brown paper bag, their fingertips touched and it was like in some silly romantic movie, where both would blush and withdraw their hands. 

"Can I sit?" Nasir asked and gestured to the bed. Agron nodded and Nasir sat down on the edge of the bed. 

They were walking as if on needles around each other and Agron didn't like it one bit. He concentrated on his food instead and he felt Nasir watching him as he ate.

"Y'know, Agron, I felt we got somewhere yesterday. With our friendship. And I do mean it, I want to be friends with you," Nasir said softly.

Agron swallowed and met Nasir's eyes, "So that is really the reason why you needed to see me? To tell me 'let's be friends'?"

Nasir frowned, "Does that upset you?"

Agron shook his head. "No. Uh... No, no. I want that, too. I want to be friends with you." 

Nasir let out a breath and smiled, "Great, because, I mean... y-you have your wife and I have my boyfriend. So we're both taken," he reasoned.

" _Boyfriend_..." Agron scoffed under his breath and rolled his eyes. _Castus_. Sad excuse for a man. Agron was still very aware that he didn't know Castus at all, he just knew that his hands had touched Nasir and it was enough to stir burning hatred.

The smile on Nasir's face faded, "He _is_ still my boyfriend. We've both made it very clear, I didn't call you here for sex and you didn't come for sex."

"Hmph," was Agron's only response. So, not at all, then. Sex was out of the question. Agron felt a mixed sense of relief and great disappointment.

They were silent for a second, not looking at each other before Agron looked up and sought out Nasir's eyes, "Okay, so I have a question for you then. Why a hotel room? Why the secrecy?"

"It's always been that way with us, hasn't it? You can't admit to who you are, so we hide," Nasir said bitterly, but as soon as his words were out of his mouth he looked as if he regretted them.

"Don't go there," Agron warned, his voice serious and dark.

Nasir turned pale, as pale as a man with his beautiful skin color could and his mouth fell open. "I'm sorry, Agron. I- I didn't mean it like that." A few moments went by where he didn't say anything else, but then he grinned and winked to loosen up the tension, "Besides, you beat up my boyfriend in public yesterday, so I think it would send a few strange looks our way if you and I went out for coffee together today, eh?"

Agron breathed a laugh at the caricatural ridiculousness of it all. "It's been a bumpy ride with you and me, huh?"

"Yeah... You know, I really wish we could start over. Be friends who don't have to hide," Nasir said. He got himself in a cross-legged position on the bed, determination on his face. "Okay, I'll start," deep breath. "I'm really sorry I seduced you that night at the club. And that I encouraged the affair without regard to your wife. I'm sorry that I unintentionally came between you and your friends for months."

Nasir's heartfelt apology took Agron off guard and he raised a surprised eyebrow at him. He decided to play along, though.

"Okay. I'm sorry for hurting Castus, for hurting Saxa and my family. I'm sorry for the way I treated you. Like you were nothing. I'm sorry for telling you that if I was gay, I'd never wanna be with someone like you. Nasir, if I was gay, I... I wouldn't wanna be with anyone else."

Nasir's eyes widened and they were full of emotion.

Agron extended his hand. "My name is Agron. I'm Crixus'... " Agron paused, considering his choice of word, " _friend_ ", he at last said with a roll of his eyes and Nasir laughed. "And now I'd really like to be yours."

He gave a dimpled grin, before he continued, "I like rugby and beer, and I work in finances. I won't ever shave, 'cos if I do I'll be asked to show ID at bars. Seriously, I look 17 without it," he said and caressed his beard.

"17 in a man's body," Nasir added and smiled.

Nasir shouldn't be thinking about Agron's manly body, because then Agron might start thinking about Nasir's manly body and then this 'friends' thing would fall _straight_ to the ground, no fucking pun intended. 

Agron smiled back and continued, just to remove focus from their bodies, "The first 'Rocky' is my favorite movie, and Johnny Cash is my favorite musician. His music helped me through my brother's death. And... my son is the love of my life," he finished with a resoluteness that touched Nasir.

He took Agron's hand and shook it. "I'm Nasir. Naevia is like a sister to me, and well, she's married to Crixus, so it's only fair to them that you and I try to get along."

"Absolutely," Agron muttered under his breath.

Nasir continued, "I love to draw, and I mostly draw people. The anatomy and physical appearance of the human body fascinates me."

"Oh, yeah?" Agron asked, a little more flirtatious than he had aimed for. He internally cursed himself for it.

Nasir smacked him playfully across the arm, "Shut up." 

He took a breath, "I sometimes miss Syria and my family. I hope I can go back there one day and all will be forgiven."

Agron could see pain in Nasir's eyes, but he didn't inquire into it. Nasir would tell him when he was ready.

"I like Bon Iver and Keaton Henson, but when I'm with Naevia we only listen to divas: Whitney, Tina, Cher. I'm her gay best friend and I live up to all the preconceptions of how a GBF should be, I guess," Nasir chuckled and blushed. "I prefer the second 'Rocky' movie, because Rocky marries Adrian and I love happy endings. I want to get married one day. And Agron... there's nothing I want more than to be your friend."

Agron swallowed hard and smiled. This was what he wanted; just to have Nasir in his life would be a blessing, really. He could have _both_ Saxa and Nasir, and be a happy, loyal husband and friend. As Agron was thinking of a lot less complex future, he was getting lost in Nasir's brown eyes and suddenly became aware that their hands were still clasped.

Agron released his grip and cleared his throat. 

"I'll take that shower now. Afterwards we can go for beer, yeah? Fuck whoever looks." He got up and clasped Nasir's shoulder, before he went to the bathroom and closed the door behind him.

-

The warm water was pure pleasure on Agron's sore body. He put his face directly under the spray and hissed as it cleansed his bruises. 

He soaped himself in the hotel's shower gel and momentarily considered jacking off. Instead he decided to finish the shower quickly and go out for those beers with Nasir, because in public they might be able to ignore the obvious sexual tension still lingering between them.

He stood under the water with closed eyes, enjoying the sensation when he heard the bathroom door shut. He turned around and there Nasir was, naked as the day he was fucking born and entering the shower.

"Nasir, what are you-"

"I know I should be sorry for what I'm about to do, but I'm not," Nasir spoke softly, his eyes big and brown and intense, looking straight into Agron's, into his soul.

Agron didn't say anything. He wouldn't have been able to either, if he had tried. His entire body was reacting: his heart was beating faster, his stomach fluttered, the hairs on his arms were standing up, his fucking cock was standing up, betraying him.

Nasir's hands went up to touch his face. He softly slid his thumb along Agron's bottom lip, in the exact same way that Agron had done to him the night before in the prison cell. It was as if asking for permission.

"I haven't kissed you before," Agron whispered hoarsely.

"Yes, you have," Nasir murmured, standing up on his toes.

"Not like this. Not sober."

"Does it make a difference?" Nasir's lips were so close, so fucking close, and Agron could feel his warm, minty breath on his face.

"To me it does," Agron replied, because it did. It would be huge. It would mean so much. It would mean that Nasir wasn't just a drunken fuck... several times. That it hadn't just been a dangerous combination of desire and booze.

If they kissed now, both of them completely sober and aware, it would mean everything. It would be a choice. A choice to fuck the friendship thing and fall right back to where they had tried to come away from. A choice to have each other, actively cheating on their partners to be with each other. Everything was different, because they were _aware._

Agron wanted nothing more than to fuck the friendship thing. Fuck the friend.

Nasir slid down from his toes, rejection and disappointment written all over his features. He moved to get out of the bath and Agron couldn't let him leave, not for anything in the world.

He grabbed his arm and pulled him back. "I can't kiss you and not want more," he admitted. "I can't." His voice was rough, low and desperate. 

The water was drumming on their naked bodies and their chests were heaving.

Nasir looked as if he considered for a moment. Then he closed the distance, stood on his toes and brought Agron's head down so that they could meet halfway.

And then they were kissing.

They both sighed in content when their lips met, as if they'd both been starving for it for months, forever. 

Their tongues met, tentatively at first, just the slightest touch of tips, but even that sent tingles through Agron's body. He wanted more and he didn't want to deny himself anything anymore. 

He backed Nasir up against the cold tiled wall, placing his hand gently on Nasir's back to protect him from the cold and the hard surface. He licked his way inside Nasir's mouth, tasting him, claiming him, fucking him with his tongue. Showing him exactly what he was going to do to his body.

He was _aware._ Everything felt more.

Their cocks were already hard - hell, Agron's had been hard since Nasir had entered the shower naked - and they slid against each other. The sensation was amazing and Agron groaned loudly. Nasir panted into the kiss as his hands desperately roamed Agron's body, pulling his hair, gripping his biceps, his fingertips digging deep and hard into the flesh.

Agron lifted Nasir up as if he weighed nothing and Nasir wrapped his legs around Agron's waist for leverage. 

The head of Agron's cock slid against Nasir's entrance and they both moaned. The shower gel that was still partially present on Agron's body made their movements slippery and Agron was certain he would be able to slide inside Nasir with ease if he wanted to. 

"Condom?" Agron rasped, almost sounding as if he was in pain from holding back. 

Nasir nodded and reached out to the zink with one wet hand to dig through his toiletry bag.

"Always prepared, aren't ya?" Agron whispered hotly against Nasir's ear, before he trailed wet kisses down the other man's cheek till he reached his mouth. Nasir's head was turned slighty as he concentrated on his hand in the bag, so Agron planted kisses full of tongue to the side of his mouth. 

His hands were full of Nasir's ass cheeks as he held him up against the wall. His index finger started teasing Nasir's hole, the water proving useful aid to lubricate and soon Agron was knuckle deep in Nasir's ass. 

"Agron," Nasir moaned. "Can't fucking... concentrate."

"Fuck," Agron rested his head on Nasir's chest and willed himself not to splatter against Nasir's cheeks and the wall behind them from pure overexcitement.

"Got it," Nasir said and straightened his body in Agron's arms, proudly presenting the condom.

"At fucking last," Agron growled and loosened his hold on Nasir.

Nasir slid down just enough to roll the condom on Agron, before he was lifted up and pushed towards the wall again. 

Agron kept eye contact with Nasir as he slid inside him.

It was intimate on a whole other level. Nasir's brow furrowed and Agron soon hoped that the pain would give way to pleasure. Because pleasure was all he was feeling: soft, tight heat, sorely missed around his cock.

"You okay?" He whispered affectionately, his forehead against Nasir's as he plastered small pecks on the other man's lips. 

He was almost all the way inside and he wanted to start thrusting so badly, because Nasir was so beautiful and Agron was inside him - finally _finally_ inside him again - and looking straight into his face, long wet black hair and long black eyelashes and delicious mouth, and at last seeing the pain fade into pleasure, and fuck, there was that flutter in his stomach and in his chest again. _Fuck._

Nasir nodded and slid both of his hands into Agron's wet hair, pulling his mouth closer. With a lustful moan Nasir deepened their kisses, tongues and teeth and gasps and sighs, and Agron started thrusting hard.

Agron's muscles were aching from holding Nasir up and fucking him, but Nasir was moaning louder and Agron needed Nasir to come, because he himself was so _close_ that he felt he might just die.

"Touch yourself," Agron groaned and followed Nasir's hand with his eyes as it moved from Agron's chest to his own cock and started pumping it frantically.

Nasir groaned, so deep and animalistic and masculine, when he came over Agron's chest, coating his pecs and nipples with white stropes of his seed. The water washed it away as quickly as it appeared.

"God," Agron's mouth fell open in a silent scream and he threw his head back as he filled the condom with his own release, the pleasure rushing through his body making him dizzy.

He put Nasir down to his feet and they both stood there in silence, Agron with his hand on the wall high above Nasir's head and his eyes closed shut.

"Are you gonna leave?" Nasir asked, his voice filled with fear of Agron's answer, but also a hint of confidence or indifference, as if a shield to protect himself from Agron's hurtful fuck-and-run routine.

"You want me to?" Agron whispered and slowly opened his eyes to meet Nasir's big, pleading brown ones.

"Never."

"Then I'll stay."

The water was beginning to sting on Agron's back, the hot force of it making his skin red. He wanted out of the shower, but Nasir was looking so thoroughly sad that Agron could do nothing but wait for the bomb to drop.

"Would you stay if Saxa hadn't left? If she was at your house now, would you have come here? Would you have stayed with me then?" Nasir at last spoke what was on his mind and his concerns were legitimate.

_Probably not._

"Don't. Please, don't," Agron begged. _Don't spoil this._ "I'm here. And I'm really happy to be, okay?"

"I am, too."

Nasir finally smiled and reached up to give Agron a soft kiss, one Agron gladly returned.

They kissed for a while, just soft explorations of each other's lips, enjoying the taste of each other and the aftermath of sex, something they hadn't shared before.

"I swear, that was the best sex I've ever had," Agron mumbled, still feeling high on his orgasm.

"Yeah?" Nasir grinned with pride and Agron laughed.

"Yeah, put that face away," he joked. "Or I'm gonna have to kiss it away."

"Oh, how you threat," Nasir said mockingly and leaned up to get his pride kissed away. 

-

"You know, I don't usually do this with my friends," Agron mused, his hand caressing Nasir's hair. 

Nasir laughed.

They had barely made it out of the shower, before Agron had attached his lips to the sensitive spots on Nasir's neck. Within few moments he had been inside him again, on the bed in a missionary position, his lips never leaving Nasir's lips, and when they did it was only to attach themselves to Nasir's neck again. 

Nasir had moaned so beautifully, his head thrown back, his hips thrusting up to meet the thrust of Agron's hips. It had lasted longer, and right after they had finished Agron had boasted on how long he had been able to hold his orgasm back.

It had been pretty fucking intense, looking into each other's eyes and being so close, but Agron found he loved taking Nasir like that. Intimately. He wondered how he'd ever been able to fuck Nasir without looking into his face.

Nasir was lying next to him with his head on his chest, his damp hair falling down his back and onto Agron's underarm. 

"You're like a drug to me. I get high off of you. And I keep coming back for more," Agron whispered into Nasir's hair, before he planted a soft kiss on the top of his head.

Nasir lifted his head from Agron's chest to look at him.

"I can't resist you," Agron admitted, and there was a hint of pain and regret to his voice, because neither of them should be there and they knew it. But the admittance no longer made Agron feel disgusted with himself.

"You don't have to. Don't fight it," Nasir muttered softly.

Their lips met in a tender kiss, Nasir craning his neck to reach and Agron bending his head so that they could meet halfway.

Agron felt warm all over at kissing Nasir like this, so soft and... meaningful. 

"This is nice," Nasir whispered and traced the hair on Agron's chest with his fingers.

"Yeah... Yeah, I guess it kinda is," because it was and Agron smiled at the thought that he might very possibly could get used to lying with Nasir in his arms.

The room smelled of sex and sweat and the shower had been in vain, but Agron felt more sexually satisfied than he had ever been. 

They were quiet for a few moments, listening to each other's heart beats as they went from racing to normal rhythm.

"Can I ask you something?" Agron broke the comfortable silence.

"Anything," Nasir whispered.

"When you spoke about Syria, you said that you hoped you could return and all would be forgiven. What did you mean by that?"

Nasir went quiet and Agron immediately regretted asking. 

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't..." he began, but Nasir turned his head again and shut him up with a kiss.

"I said 'anything'," he said softly. He got comfortable in the crook of Agron's arm, before he continued, "I left Syria, because my family disowned me."

"Why would they do that?"

"Because I'm gay."

Agron tensed, the word making him uncomfortable because it was still not a word he could identify himself with and because Nasir was amazing and Agron couldn't believe anyone could do that to someone such as him, least of all his own flesh and blood.

But that's what Agron thought would happen to him too if anybody found out what he was doing with Nasir, wasn't it? Agron couldn't or wouldn't decide whether his biggest issue was with himself finding out or his family and friends.

Agron had been quiet for some time, so Nasir decided to continue. "I grew up in a happy family, really. We were poor and we didn't have a lot. But we were happy. My parents were happily married, and I was close with my siblings. My brother and my sisters. My sisters were late-comers, so they were quite young when I left. But my brother and I were close. We were almost of same age, he was only year older than me."

"When I was 15, I fell in love for the first time. Ashur, was his name. He was our next door neighbour. He was 20 and he took my virginity. Told me he loved me. Then he went to my parents and told them that their queer little son had come on to him," Nasir's voice was bitter and hateful as he spoke.

"Did they believe him?" Agron asked.

"Not at first. I remember them asking if there were any girls at school that had my interest. Their eyes always went crazy when they asked. I said 'no'. They panicked. They arranged for me to marry a girl from another family. The wedding was to be held when I turned 18 and she 15. The girl was fucking 12 when she became engaged to me," Nasir scoffed.

Agron let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. 

"What did Ashur get out of outing you?" 

"I don't know. He was a serpent. Only thought of what would benefit himself. I guess he thought it better to out me, instead of me eventually outing both of us."

"You think he ever truly loved you?" Agron asked carefully, his hand still soothingly caressing Nasir's hair.

"No," Nasir shook his head slightly.

"If I ever get my hands on him, I swear I'll choke him to death," Agron growled.

Nasir chuckled, "I don't doubt you will."

"So what happened?"

"I turned 18 and I got the fuck out of there. Finished high school and worked all other hours I was awake at an auto workshop to be able to afford leaving. My father's last words to me were: 'My son, an AIDS monkey. You disgust me. Never show your face here again.' Haven't seen them since. I must've embarrassed them and put shame to their name in the entire village." Nasir had imitated his father's words with thick Syrian accent, accentuating every syllable, and Agron got chills at the cruelty of it.

"Fuck their name. What kind of lousy father says that to his own son? Never, ever would I disown my son," Agron felt rage rise in him. Nasir placed a soft kiss to his chest and he immediately calmed down.

"Nasir, I'm so sorry," he whispered.

"It's okay. I miss my brother and my sisters, but I know I'll see them again some day. They never knew why I left and I don't think mama and baba ever explained it to them."

Nasir went quiet and Agron let his hand slide down his back in a soft caress.

"Why Australia?" Agron asked, because really, Nasir could've gone anywhere.

"Coincidence, really. I went to the airport and got aboard the first plane that had an available seat. It brought me here. Now I somehow think it was fate," Nasir glanced up and sent Agron a smile. He then propped himself up on his elbow to kiss him. 

"It was really brave of you," Agron said and returned the kiss, moaning when their tongues met. Nasir's hand went up to grab a hold on the back of Agron's head, and Agron mimicked his action and buried a large hand in black hair.

"So you're good with cars, huh? That's kinda hot," Agron smirked into the kiss and soon he was thrusting into tight heat yet again, stuttering Nasir's name as he came. 

-

A week had passed. A week of almost not leaving the hotel room at all. Nasir had gone to work three times, but he was on winter break from school, so his shifts at the coffee shop were the only thing separating them.

A week of ordering take-out to the hotel, feeding each other pizza, eating naked on the bed.

A week of out-of-this-world mind-blowing hot fucking, passionate sex, on the floor, in the bed, in the chair, on the table, up against the window. 

A week of talking, listening, laughing, kissing. 

They never fucking left for those beers after all.

Saxa had texted Agron a few times and every time Agron would tense and shrug Nasir off him, pull away and sit in silence.

Castus had called a few times, to which Nasir replied he was busy with work and cramming for finales.

The nights always had them in each others arms again, though.

Agron had left that morning to go home to change clothes and pack a bag with essentials he needed. He had kissed Nasir goodbye, twice and had ended up leaving the room with a semi hard-on.

Being in the house was weird. It was empty and cold, and guilt suddenly flooded over him. His desire to see Nasir again took over and by late afternoon he decided to return to the hotel.

He didn't know what this was, what any of it meant, but he hadn't felt this happy in a long time. When he returned to the hotel, he parked his car in the hotel's basement and ran up the stairs, past the receptionist and all the way up to third floor. He hammered the door, excitement rushing through his body.

He was excited to see Nasir. To kiss him. Fuck, their lips hadn't touched in too long. 

"Nasir! Open up," he said and was nearly embarrassed by the pure joy that was evident in his voice. "Come on!"

He hammered on the door again, jumping slightly on his feet.

"Nasir?"

The door opened slowly and Agron sighed in relief. 

"Hey," he said softly and had almost already puckered his lips, ready for a kiss, when another face came in sight as the door was fully opened. An elder woman was behind the door, her features scrunched up in a sour expression.

"Young man, would you please stop that noise!" She croaked and yawned.

"Who are you? Where is Nasir? The young man who stayed in this room," Agron gasped.

"I have no idea what you are talking about. We checked in this afternoon and this room was assigned to us. We were having a midday nap and you ruined it. Go talk to the receptionist," she pointed down the hallway to indicate the way to the reception.

"Wait, this is room 312, isn't it?" Agron said and took a step back to look at the numbers above the door. 312. Nasir's room. "I don't understand..." 

"Yes, and the only people who are in here are my husband and I. Go talk to the receptionist, young man. Goodbye, now," the woman said and closed the door behind her. 

Agron ran to the reception and threw himself at the desk, completely out of breath. 

"Room 312. The man who lived there. He must've checked out... Did he check out? Nasir..." It suddenly dawned on Agron that he didn't even know Nasir's last name. "Nasir, is his name." 

"The guest in room 312 checked out this morning," the receptionist said mechanically.

"Did he say why?" Agron pressed.

The girl behind the desk finally looked up at him, chewing on her pencil and a look of complete irritation on her face.

"He doesn't have to tell me why, you know. He didn't sign a contract or nothing, sir," she said with more sassiness than Agron liked. 

"Fuck..." Agron sighed and turned away from the receptionist. He walked with uncertain steps back to his car and got in his seat.

He called Nasir. Two times. Three times. Five times. No answer.

He tried sending a text instead: _Where are you???_

Five excrutiating minutes went by.

_Home._

One fucking word. Agron was burning with a mix of fear and anger, and he had no fucking time for anybody's impertinence, least of all Nasir's.

_Where is home?_

Ten minutes went by with no reply from Nasir. Agron was nervously drumming the steering wheel and tapping his foot on the mat. At last his phone vibrated with a text from Nasir with his address. 

Agron immediately put the car in gear and drove. He found the dorm rooms easily enough and ran though crowds of students to get to the room he was looking for.

When Nasir let Agron in, Agron attacked the other man's lips straight away. He moaned into the kiss and his hands began exploring, grabbing a piece of ass, burying hands in black hair, grabbing a tiny waist.

"I've been starving for you," he groaned and slipped his tongue inside Nasir's mouth.

"You saw me this morning," Nasir mumbled and kissed back with less eagerness. It unnerved Agron. He drew back and furrowed his brows. 

"Why'd you leave the hotel? You nearly gave me a fucking heart attack."

"Lots of reasons," Nasir shrugged and his seemingly indifference was like a knife to Agron's heart. "My roomie kept texting me, asking when I was gonna be back. And the money I make at the coffee shop is not enough to cover spending every night in a fucking hotel. Unless we can go to your place..."

"No." Agron couldn't have Nasir in his home. Not where he lived with his wife, his son, cooked for his family, watched TV with his family, bathed his son, made love to his wife... No. 

"Thought so," Nasir said, his lips tight. "And we obviously can't stay at my place, because my roomie is always around. And..." Nasir stopped and took a deep breath, before he continued, "Castus called again this morning and he wanted to see me, so... I was heading over there now."

"Fuck him," Agron growled and took a possessive hold on Nasir's arm. 

"Fuck your wife," Nasir snapped and pulled his arm back. 

Agron narrowed his eyes and clenched his jaw. "I have a kid with her. It's different," he said and Nasir sighed and rolled his eyes. Agron's voice turned softer, almost a whisper, "Please, _please_ , you want me to go down on my knees and beg? 'Cause I'll do that. Please come back with me to the hotel. I need to be with you. Please. Nasir, _please_." 

"I can't afford to stay there anymore, I told you," Nasir said with a finality that Agron found ridiculous.

"You're kidding, right? That's the fucking least of our problems. I'll pay. Don't worry about it. I'll pay for an entire week. So we'll have that place when, you know... We need to see each other." 

"Are you sure?"

"I have to see you. We have a week until Saxa comes home, and I... I have to see you. I can't stop seeing you. Do you want to stop seeing me... like this?" Agron was almost afraid to hear Nasir's answer.

"No, but... " Nasir's voice was soft, sad almost, but then he looked up and anger was written all over his face. "What you're saying is that it's over - _we're_ over - once she comes home?"

Agron sighed deeply, not wanting to deal with those deep fucking questions of Nasir's.

Instead he reached out and grabbed the back of Nasir's head, pulling them close in another passionate kiss.

"You talk too much," Agron moaned into the kiss. "You should put your mouth to better use."

"My roommate'll be back soon," Nasir sighed but he responded the kiss with the eagerness Agron had missed, the eagerness their other kiss had lacked.

"Then you better fucking hurry," Agron growled and planted biting kisses to Nasir's neck.

Nasir grinned wickedly and fell to his knees. He made quick work of Agron's belt and jeans, and soon he had his cock in his mouth.

Agron sighed with content and took a hold on the back of Nasir's head, guiding him. 

"You're so good at this," he groaned and threw his head back as Nasir took him to the root, his wet tongue caressing the vein on the underside of his cock.

Agron looked down. Nasir hadn't shaved his face in a few days and there was slight stubble on his cheek and chin. Agron had always been disgusted by the thought of a bearded mouth sucking his cock and now it was doing everything to him. His cock had only just gotten fully hard and he could already feel the heat pooling in his stomach, the tingle down his spine. 

"Nasir, I'm gonna..." 

Nasir moaned around his cock and the vibrations on the head of Agron's cock sent him stumbling over the edge, coating the inside of Nasir's throat and mouth with his release. Agron could feel Nasir swallow around him and the sensation sent one last spurt of semen out of him.

"That _was_ quick," Nasir remarked as he got to his feet. 

"Shut up, little man," Agron said playfully, and reached out with his thumb to dry away a few drops of seed that clung to the corner of Nasir's mouth. "You very well know what you do to me."

In response and with a self-satisfied "Mmhm," Nasir took Agron's thumb in his mouth and licked those last few drops off. 

"Fuck," Agron moaned, watching Nasir suck his thumb as if it was his cock and it was like watching a fucking POV porno. It was vulgar and devilish, and so fucking hot. 

"You ready again?" Nasir let go of Agron's thumb with an obscene sound and roughly grabbed Agron's hand to pull it to his own clothed erection. Agron palmed Nasir through his jeans and received loud moans in return.

"I fucking want to be," Agron groaned and glanced to his own cock as it desperately, painfully tried to become hard again.

"Pack it away. Take me back to the hotel," Nasir said and grabbed his bag and keys.

"Fuck, yes," Agron grinned and resisted the urge to take Nasir's hand in his own.

They got into Agron's car and Agron had a silly smile on his face the entire way, because Nasir was next to him in his car and it was in some way so domestic it made his heart skip a beat. 

The smile disappeared but only to make way for moans when Nasir reached out and began giving him a skilled hand-job, one that almost had him crash the car.

When they arrived at the hotel, Nasir did the talking to the rude receptionist and Agron did his best to hide the tent in his jeans.

Once they were inside their room - room 202 this time - Agron fucked Nasir into oblivion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I live for feedback, thank you darlings.


	7. French Girls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm trying this new thing where I write shorter chapters, so I can update more frequently. So this one is very short, a little angsty but also sweet and sexy! Enjoy :)
> 
> and thank you thank you thank YOU for your feedback on the last chapter!! I haven't gotten around to reply to any of the comments yet, but please know how grateful I am.

"I want you to draw me like one of your French girls."

Agron was stretched out on the bed, lazily like a cat, wearing a bathrobe with the hotel's name on the label. It was too short on him and his muscular thighs were exposed underneath the fabric.

He was watching Nasir with an admirable look; the other man was seated in the chair across from Agron, his legs scooped up under him. His hair was in a messy bun on the top of his head, and he was dressed in nothing but his own black boxer briefs and Agron's white shirt. He had his sketch book in his lap and was frowning in concentration as he drew.

Agron liked watching him. Nasir was beautiful like this, doing what he loved. His hand flew across the paper effortlessly and his bottom lip was slightly pulled at between his teeth.

It took a few seconds for Agron's words to sink in - Agron could see the entire thought process on Nasir's face - before: "What?" Nasir looked up from his drawing, both eyebrows raised in confusion.

Agron laughed and put a hand over his eyes as he shook his head. "Are you serious? You call yourself gay and you don't understand that reference? I'm really disappointed in you, Nasir."

"My French girls? I'm not following," Nasir shrugged.

"Titanic? 1997? Young Leo and Kate? Come on, Nasir, young _Leo_ ," Agron moaned and rolled onto his stomach, his feet by the head of the bed and his face turned towards Nasir.

"You sound more gay than me," Nasir smirked. "I never saw that movie. Besides, I prefer my men taller and more muscular than that."

"I know you do," Agron winked and enjoyed the blush that crept up on Nasir's cheeks in return. 

Nasir laughed and shook his head. "Flatter yourself." 

Their eyes met for a few moments and they both smiled. Agron thought about the sex they had just had and Nasir looked as if he thought about it, too. 

Wall sex. Amazing, _spectacular_ , mind-blowing wall sex. Agron's height and strength had once again proven an advantage as he had lifted Nasir and fucked him up against the wall right next to the door.

Nasir had just returned from working a shift at the coffee shop and Agron from a jog. They had coincidentally met in the hotel lobby and Nasir had licked his lips at the sweat running from Agron's throat to his collarbone and further.

As soon as they had been inside their room Nasir had licked the sweat off of Agron's body, and Agron had fucked both their brains out.

Spectacular.

"So would you?"

"Would I what?"

"Draw me?" Agron said and got up from the bed. He slowly and sensually took off his bathrobe to reveal his naked muscular body and his semi-erect cock. "Wearing nothing," he added with a wicked smile on his lips. He hadn't had this kind of sexual urge since he was a teenager. Or never.

Nasir smiled a little. Then it faded.

He looked up into Agron's eyes, an unamused look on his face. "Nothing but your wedding ring, you mean." He turned his eyes back to his sketch book and brought his pencil to the paper again. 

"What?" 

Nasir sighed deeply, before he slammed the pencil down and lifted his eyes back up. "I feel it when you touch me. I can see it glisten, when you bring your hand to my face. It presses into my skin when you tangle our fingers together while you're fucking me." He gestured angrily to Agron's left hand as he spoke.

Agron glanced down to where the wide silver band grazed his ring finger. He hardly even noticed it himself anymore and was angered by Nasir's change of topic. "Why are you sounding like a whining woman right now?"

"Because!" Nasir cried out. "In six days this will all be over. You and me." He shrugged and shook his head, his lips curving downwards. "I fear her return because I know you won't leave her, and... I'm not asking you to. I know I have no right, but..."

He took a shaky breath, before he continued, "God, Agron, it's _killing_ me, because I think I might be..." 

He stopped himself and looked down.

Agron frowned. "You think you might be what?"

"Nothing." Nasir's eyes were wet with unshed tears and he was chewing at his bottom lip. 

Agron's anger slowly disappeared. He couldn't stand seeing Nasir sad and the thought that he was the one that brought that disappointed slump to Nasir's shoulders was unbearable. 

He slowly got down on his knees in front of Nasir to reach eye level. 

He sighed deeply and put a hand on top of Nasir's. "Look. I know this is hard. And believe me, I _hate_ myself. I hate myself for what I'm doing to Saxa. What I'm doing to _you_." Agron's other hand went up to caress Nasir's cheek. "But please, don't worry about it. It's not now. She won't return today."

Agron's hand dropped to Nasir's chin and he tilted the other man's head up slightly so their eyes could meet. "This past week has been amazing. The next couple of days will be amazing. And then we'll figure out where to go from there, okay?"

Agron smiled reassuringly, but internally cursed his desire to be with Nasir. Life would be so much simpler if they had never met, and then there was that part inside Agron that would rather die than spend a lifetime not knowing Nasir. 

Fucking hell. Lots of people had affairs. Affairs that were nothing but sex. Affairs their significant others never knew about. Agron didn't necessarily approve of it, and yet he found himself in the middle of it. But why did it have to be more complicated than it already was? 

_Feelings_. Affairs should be without feelings. And Nasir was feeling... stuff, Agron could tell. And Agron himself had trouble distinguishing the feeling between his legs with the flutter in his stomach and the clenching in his chest at the thought of not being with Nasir.

Most people didn't leave their significant others for their secret lover. It would be foolish to give up a happy home for... what? The prospect of good sex in the future? No. Agron would not be one of those men who left their wives for a mistress, just to end up alone in a one bedroom flat, seeing his kids two days every fourteenth day.

He would make things right with Saxa. And eventually he and Nasir would probably be able to be in a room together without the sexual tension so thick it could be cut with a knife.

"I'm not gonna take it off. I can't... I can't do that." 

But for now Agron was going to be true to his words to at least one person. Saxa wasn't coming home today or tomorrow, not the next six days. And Nasir was here, and he was beautiful and incredible, and Agron wanted to kiss him so bad. The next couple of days would be amazing and it would just be _them_.

Nasir nodded and put on a brave face, but his smile was sad. Agron reached out, gently grabbed Nasir's face and went in for the kiss he desired more than anything.

Nasir's lips were soft but desperate and his sketch book slid from his lap to the floor, when he cupped Agron's face between his hands. Agron became aware of how completely naked he was and had been during their serious talk. He could feel his cock rise again between his legs just by the briefest touch of Nasir's lips.

"Nasir..." Agron moaned into the kiss. He pulled away before things got too heated and he congratulated himself on his restraint. Nasir whined and pouted at the loss of contact.

"Now please draw me like one of Jack's French girls," Agron said and reached out to tuck a stray black lock of hair behind Nasir's ear.

Nasir frowned. "Jack?"

Agron laughed, "Oh, we gotta see that movie together." He leaned forward to place another peck to Nasir's lips, before he got up to his feet.

Nasir nodded. "Fine. Step back. Let me see you."

Agron took a step back and Nasir took him in, from head to toe. His gaze stopped at Agron's crotch and he licked his lips.

"Where do you want me?" Agron asked cheerfully.

"Inside me," Nasir murmured as he bent down to pick up his sketch book.

"I'm sorry?" Agron smirked. He had of course heard what Nasir had said, but he wanted to hear him say it again. 

"On the bed. Your head propped up on your elbow and your front turned towards me," Nasir said nonchalantly.

"That's not what you said," Agron teased.

"Come on, get on the bed and let me draw you," Nasir grinned and his cheeks were red again with an adorable blush. 

"Fine. But when you're done you have to tell me what you said. And then we'll see if I can help you." Agron got on the bed in the position Nasir had ordered. His cock was still hard, so hopefully Nasir would draw it as it appeared in its erect form and Agron enjoyed the thought of Nasir having a drawing of Agron with a hard-on. It was almost like a picture for the spank bank, wasn't it.

Nasir began drawing, his face contorting in concentration. His eyes darted from Agron's form to the paper, and back again. 

It took no more than an hour or so. Nasir slammed the sketch book down in his lap and ran his hands across his face. He got black pencil smudges on his nose and forehead, and Agron smiled. 

"You done?" He asked and sat up in bed, his back leaning against the bedhead.

"Yeah," Nasir replied and took a sip from his bottle of water next to him. 

"Come over here. Show me," Agron said softly and waved Nasir to him. He followed Nasir with his eyes as the other man got up from the chair and walked towards him. Agron's shirt was too big on Nasir and it stopped on the middle of his thighs, hiding his boxer briefs from view and making him look completely naked underneath.

Nasir got in bed next to Agron and handed him the sketch book. Agron looked at the drawing of himself and his jaw dropped.

"Wow, Nasir. This is... holy shit, it's _me_. It's like a photograph. It's amazing," Agron was in awe and turned his head to look at Nasir. " _You're_ amazing." He leaned over to kiss him, just a quick peck and then he turned his focus back to the drawing.

"Wow. Just wow. You're so incredibly talented." 

"Thank you," Nasir said almost shyly. "I had a good model for it."

Agron smiled and put the sketch book on the night table. When he turned back around to face Nasir, he reached out and took a hold on the back of his head. The kiss began slow; Agron wanted to show his admiration for and gratefulness to Nasir with soft kisses, until he could no longer contain his desire. He deepened the kiss and pulled Nasir closer to him, kissing him with ferocity, tongue and teeth and desperation.

"I haven't been inside of you in too long," he said hotly and placed a trail of kisses to Nasir's neck.

"It's only - ah - been a few hours," Nasir moaned and slid his hands down Agron's naked back.

"Like I said. Too long," Agron smiled wickedly and turned his attention back to Nasir's lips. He tugged gently at his bottom lip before he bit down slightly. Nasir gasped and moved to sit in Agron's lap. He began undressing, but Agron stopped him.

"Keep the shirt on," he whispered harshly and placed a hand on top of Nasir's to still him from unbuttoning the shirt.

Nasir grinned and settled for pulling his boxer briefs off. He reached down and began stroking Agron's cock with one hand as he rummaged through the drawer in the night table with the other. Agron gasped and closed his eyes, enjoying the feel of Nasir's soft hand on his painfully hard cock.

"This is the last condom. We're also running out of lube," Nasir murmured as he rolled the condom onto Agron. He popped open the lube and coated Agron's cock in one swift move.

"Then you gotta buy some," Agron muttered dumbly, following Nasir's hands with his eyes.

"Why me?" Nasir raised himself in Agron's lap and took a hold of Agron's cock to guide it to his entrance. 

"'Cos you're gay," Agron reasoned and gasped at the feel of Nasir's tightness around the head of his cock. 

"And you're not?" Nasir sat further down to take more of Agron's length inside of him, as if to prove his point. 

Agron chose not to answer. Nasir had the power. Instead he threw his head back and moaned. Nasir was so tight it was almost painful. How could he be so tight all the fucking time with all the fucking they had been doing the past week? But Agron wasn't complaining.

Nasir was fully seated in Agron's lap, his entire length inside him. He didn't move for a few torturous moments as he got used to the stretch. They used those moments to explore each other's mouths with passionate kisses, their hands exploring taut, smooth skin over muscle.

When Agron slid his hands down to grab Nasir's hips as Nasir began riding him, their mouths parted on a hitching breath.

Nasir lifted himself up and they both moaned at the sensation, before he plunged back down onto Agron's cock. Nasir quickly determined a rhythm that had Agron's eyes rolling to the back of his head. He was gripping Nasir's hips hard enough to bruise and Nasir made scratch marks down Agron's chest as he rode them both to intense pleasure. His thighs quivered as his bouncing movements became faster and harder.

Agron growled and moved his hands to Nasir's ass. He dug his fingers into the flesh, thrusting savagely up into the convulsing heat. Nasir gasped and threw his head back, exposing his neck. Agron surged forward and kissed the warm, sweaty skin, bruising it with his teeth. 

Nasir buried a hand in the hairs at the nape of Agron's neck, holding his head in place.

He nearly wailed with pleasure as he came from the pounding on his prostate. He spurted hot, sticky streams across the fabric of the shirt and Agron's stomach. Agron came immediately after, moaning lustfully into Nasir's neck where his head was buried. 

They were both panting and shaking, as they came down from their orgasms. Their gazes met and they both smiled. Nasir kissed Agron, two pecks, before he lifted himself up and off and collapsed on the bed.

"Sorry I came on your shirt," he mumbled tiredly. 

"Don't be sorry. It looks better on you anyway," Agron smiled and kissed Nasir's forehead, before he got up to get rid of the condom and get cleaned up. 

When he returned, Nasir had already fallen asleep. 

Agron got in bed next to him and glanced to the drawing on the night table, before he too fell asleep with Nasir in his arms and a smile on his lips.


	8. Ravenous

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG she updated!!! Those of you who follow me on tumblr know why it's been forever. But honestly, fear not, I'm not abandoning this story. Cute little chapter. We're soon coming to an end with Nagron's honeymoon days though. Enjoy, sweet darlings!

**My best friend drew this as an accompanying piece to this fic!** **It is the most beautiful thing I've seen and I was so moved she would do a piece of fan art based on my fic. She is so talented. Please show her love and go and like her post on[illustratorsofie](http://illustratorsofie.tumblr.com/post/108773284084/i-made-this-as-an-accompanying-piece-to-my-best)**

 

 

The phone rang once. Twice.

Three times before it was picked up on the other end.

When Agron had woken from deep sleep that morning, his phone had revealed that he had missed a couple of calls from Saxa. One of them had been last night, when Agron was busy doing... other things.

He had sat up on the edge of the bed with his back to a sleeping Nasir and dialled her as soon as he'd noticed.

He immediately began his apology when he heard noise on the line, "Saxa? Hey, look, sorry for missing your calls, I was... and you know, time zone difference, and..."

He was soon, to his great relief, interrupted.

 _"Papa?"_ His son's voice sounded.

"Hey, Duro?" Agron exhaled loudly and closed his eyes, the child's voice flooding him with joy and relief.

 _"I miss you, daddy!"_ Duro exclaimed.

"God, I miss you too, baby." A grin spread across Agron's face, "What did you and mommy do today?"

 _"We went to the zoo, but it was really cold and it was snowing, but the polar bears seemed really happy 'bout it daddy. And then grandpa took me out for cocoa but I burned my tongue."_ Duro exaggerated his speech on the last part, emphazising his sore tongue.

"You have to be careful with that, honey." Agron chuckled but tears burned in his eyes. He wanted to have Duro with him so bad, wanted to hug him and look into his happy, carefree face. Agron had never liked Saxa's father and the feelings had always been mutual. It stung to know that his baby boy celebrated the better part of December with the man. But he was good to Duro. He was a loving grand father, and that was the most important thing.

"What are you doing right now, son?"

 _"Just watching telly,"_ Duro mumbled, his voice sounding distracted. Agron figured the 4-year old already had lost interest in talking on the phone.

"Are you looking forward to seeing daddy soon? I'm looking forward to seeing you, you have no idea."

 _"Yeah,"_ Duro mumbled.

 _"Liebling, let mommy speak to daddy,"_ Saxa spoke, her voice distant.

 _"Bye!"_ Duro squeaked, sounding incredibly relieved to be free of the phone.

"Bye, I love you," Agron said rushed, but there was some rustling and soon he had Saxa on the other end.

 _"How are you?"_ She asked, her voice sounding clogged.

"You sick?"

 _"Yeah, got myself a goddamn cold, didn't I?"_ She sniffed. _"Not used to this kind of weather anymore."_

"Well, here it's as sunny as ever."

_"How do you make time pass?"_

Agron glanced over his shoulder and looked at Nasir. The other man had just woken up and had sat up in bed. He was playing a game on his phone, biting his bottom lip in concentration. His hair was mussed from sleep and the stubble on his face revealed that he had not shaved in a couple of days. Agron's shirt had come off at one point during the night and Nasir's exposed skin looked soft and warm.

Nasir looked up, met his eyes and gave him a slight smile; one Agron didn't return.

He turned his eyes away and swallowed before he spoke, "Uh... Working out. Sleeping. Reading, that sort of stuff. Watching TV shows. I'm really excited to get back to work soon, though."

_"Not watching more of 'Rome' without me, are you?"_

"Of course not," Agron smiled.

_"You heard anything from Castus? Or Nasir?"_

Agron tensed. "No. Not at all. Um... I apologized to Nasir." He sensed Nasir behind him reacting to hearing his name. "But I haven't spoken to Castus."

_"You should. Apologize to him directly."_

"Yeah... Yeah, I should," Agron mumbled.

 _"My parents says 'hey',"_ Saxa chuckled and Agron could hear them speaking German in the background.

"Really? Your dad too?"

 _"Yes,"_ she sighed. _"My dad too. They're so happy to have Duro here. They don't see him often enough."_

"No, I know." Agron didn't need anything more to feel guilty about.

 _"Maybe when we come home, we can talk about going back?"_ Saxa hesitated before she continued, _"Maybe look at places in Munich?"_

"I've got a job here," Agron said dismissively and ran his hand across his forehead, roughly dragging the skin under his fingers.

 _"I just thought you'd want to get away from all this, from the people who'd might... I don't know, judge you or something... Gay bashing is not exactly... well received. It is the twenty first century, after all. Equality, you know."_ Agron could hear in Saxa's voice that she measured her words properly as to not upset him.

"It wasn't... I wasn't..." Agron sighed deeply. He didn't even know how to explain it anymore. He hardly knew how to lie anymore.

But he _did_ know that it wasn't only his job keeping him there. The thought of never seeing Nasir again made Agron feel physically ill. Admittedly, moving back would be the wisest descision. Putting distance between him and Nasir would save his marriage. But nothing Agron had done lately was wise.

"We'll see," he simply muttered. He couldn't deal with this with Nasir in the same room, wearing nothing but his boxers.

Saxa was quiet for a few moments. Then she spoke again, _"Okay, well... Duro just wanted to talk to you. And I wanted to say... I love you. And I miss you."_ Her voice turned soft and sincere and it calmed Agron. She still loved him. She didn't even seem angry anymore.

His throat felt constricted and when he opened his mouth to speak, cowardice took over, "Ich liebe dich."

He mumbled it quietly into the phone and hoped Nasir was unfamiliar with German glossaries.

Saxa, however, seemed pleased, _"See you soon, darling."_ Agron could hear a smile in her voice.

"Yeah, see you," he choked and bit back tears.

He hung up and sat for a few beats with his back to Nasir, his head hung.

"Are you okay?" Nasir eventually broke the silence. His voice was hesitant.

Agron didn't respond. He slid his hands into his hair and sighed.

"I'm sorry, I should've left when I heard you were on the phone. I swear I wasn't listening in or nothing," Nasir said and got up from the bed. Agron turned to look at him. Nasir put his arms across his slim chest, hiding it from view; he looked insecure, as if he felt exposed and scrutinized under Agron's gaze.

"I know you weren't," Agron smiled softly.

"Do you want to get something to eat?" Nasir cleared his throat. "I can go get it."

It pained Agron how nervous Nasir was. He'd always get like this after Agron had spoken on the phone with his family. His voice would become shaky, his eyes anxious and a deep frown would settle on his forehead.

None of this was Nasir's fault and yet he was indisputably affected.

"I'd like that," Agron murmured, his voice calm. He was fighting a battle within himself and he tried with everything he had in him to not explode; he could easily let his frustrations turn into anger and direct it towards Nasir, as he had done so many times before.

Nasir got dressed in silence, put on his shoes and as he went for the door, he stopped by the bed. Agron looked up.

"Will you be here when I get back? Just tell me the truth. I get it if you need to be alone, but then just tell me now," Nasir said, his jaw set as if prepared for bad news.

Agron got up and moved close, their height difference continuing to strike him as he looked down into Nasir's concerned eyes.

"Nasir, I want you. I really do."

He said nothing else. Nothing else needed to be said.

They couldn't be together, the thought was ridiculous. But Agron had tried to deny his desire for Nasir and he had failed horribly. He was going to satisfy his hunger for as long as he could, and in five days he would be ravenous no longer. He needed this. He needed Nasir to come back to him. For now.

Nasir accepted it and left the hotel room without words.

Agron took a shower while Nasir was away, washing away the smell of sex and infidelity and guilt.

-

Nasir brought back sandwiches and the tension was awkward as they unpacked their food.

They ate their bagels on the bed across from each other, both of them silent and sending glances of insecurity in each other's directions. Agron had been shaken by the morning's phone call and he didn't know how to act towards the man Nasir became whenever Agron's double life put a strain on their... whatever it was that was theirs.

"How was Duro? Excited about Christmas?" Nasir spoke at last.

Agron swallowed the food in his mouth. "Yeah. I think it's so good for him to be in a place where it's actually snowing. Feels more like Christmas then," he shrugged and sent Nasir a slight smile.

"I'd love to go there," Nasir sighed dreamily.

Agron raised an eyebrow. "Germany?"

"Yeah. Europe. Scandinavia, maybe. It seems a whole other world."

Agron grinned and nodded, "It is. Maybe you'll be able to go someday." _Maybe I'll take you._

It remained unsaid and unrealistic and silence fell again.

Nasir cleared his throat. "So... they're coming home in five days?"

"Yeah."

"You must be so excited," Nasir spoke grimly.

Nasir's brave face, completed with a soft smile, did well to conceal the immense sadness in his heart. He was always trying to be brave, pretending he was indifferent. It was easier than getting hurt.

"Nasir..." Agron whispered and reached out to place his hand on Nasir's knee.

Nasir moved away from his touch and stood up.

"You done?" He gestured to the remains of Agron's sandwich, abandoned on the bedsheets between them.

Without waiting for reply, Nasir grabbed the sandwich and paper and went to the bin to toss it. Agron got up to his feet and took the two steps across the carpeted floor to bring him to Nasir.

Nasir was with his back to him, so Agron put a gentle hand on his shoulder to urge him to turn around. Nasir did and it occurred to Agron that he had missed the closeness of their bodies, even though he'd only been without the warmth of the smaller man's body for a few hours.

"What did I tell you?" he whispered softly, his hand reaching out to tug a stray lock of hair behind Nasir's ear.

Nasir's answer came promptly; he knew exactly what Agron had told him. "'It's not now'," he muttered, his eyes remaining downcast.

Agron raised Nasir's chin with his index finger. Their eyes locked. "It's not now," he repeated reassuringly and leaned forward to place the softest of kisses to Nasir's lips.

Nasir's eyelids fluttered closed and he sighed into the kiss as if his breath had been taken from him. He raised himself on his toes and slid both hands into Agron's hair to deepen the kiss.

"I can still do this then, yeah?" Nasir muttered hotly as they broke apart for air.

"Definitely," Agron nodded dumbly as Nasir planted wet, warm kisses to his cheek, chin and throat.

"I love..." Agron swallowed hard. "I love your lips. I love kissing you. I love it when you kiss me. Like this... I shouldn't... I shouldn't be feeling these things," Agron blinked at the ceiling, frankly speaking more to himself than to Nasir. He gasped as Nasir nibbled at his Adam's Apple.

Nasir withdrew. The passion in his eyes was replaced with concern. "It's okay. It's okay..." He whispered the words softly and cradled Agron's face in his hands. He placed a kiss on Agron's forehead to smooth out the lines of worry. "Just kiss me. Don't stop."

Agron complied. He feared he would never deny Nasir this. Not now. Not when Saxa returned. Not ever.

The kiss was passionate and dirty from the second their lips met again. Nasir's tongue was wanting and seeking, almost violent, as it demanded Agron's embrace.

Nasir's hands began quick work on Agron's belt buckle while never removing focus from their joined lips. He bit down gently on Agron's bottom lip and elicited a guttural groan from the taller man. When Agron's pants were open, Nasir fisted his shirt and their lips parted only to raise the shirt off Agron's body. When it was out of the way, their lips crushed together again.

Agron slid his hands down Nasir's back, his large hands enveloping his slender hips. His hands slid further until they reached that fucking gloriously sculpted ass. Agron realised, with dread, that he would never not want this. This man, this ass, those lips. Soft moans and sighs, masculine growls. Fuck, Agron's cock was so hard. He would definitely never, ever not want this.

He backed Nasir onto the bed from where they had just sat and pulled the smaller man's t-shirt over his head. With a hand on Nasir's naked chest, Agron pushed him to lie down. He got on top and their lips met again.

The hotel room was dead silent apart from their heavy breathing and desperate, lustful moans, quitened into each other's mouths.

When Nasir gasped for air, Agron moved his lips to his neck instead to let the little man breathe. He bit hard and sucked gently, claiming Nasir as his own. If that was what he was.

For five more days that was exactly what he was, Agron decided. _His_. No one elses.

"Mine," he growled into Nasir's warm skin, peppered with red marks. He felt Nasir's cock poking into his stomach and that made him move his mouth from Nasir's neck to his chest. He bit each nipple before he moved downwards.

"Ag- Agron, what are you..." There was slight panic and a bit of surprise and a lot of hope in Nasir's voice.

"I want to give you a blowjob," Agron growled as he bit softly into the skin on Nasir's lower stomach.

Nasir put his hands on Agron's shoulders to still him. Agron stopped his actions and looked up to meet Nasir's widened eyes. "You sure?"

"Yeah. What's wrong with that?" Agron asked hoarsely, chin digging into Nasir's skin.

"Nothing," Nasir breathed. Then he chuckled, "Fuck, absolutely nothing's wrong with that. But Agron?"

"Yeah?" Agron popped open the first button on Nasir's jeans.

"A man giving a blowjob is really, you know..."

"Gay?" Agron suggested as he pulled down the jeans to the middle of Nasir's taut thighs.

"Yeah- yes..." Nasir gasped as Agron mouthed the head of his cock through the soft cotton of his boxers. "And you're okay with that?" he stammered.

"Fuck labels. I want to do this because I want to, because it's you, because I want to give you the same pleasure you've been giving me. So let me suck your cock, yeah?" Agron grinned smugly and slid Nasir's boxers down. His cock sprang free, rock hard and almost dark-purple.

"God, Agron..." Nasir writhed and let out a small cry as Agron confidently placed his wet lips around the head of his cock.

Agron bobbed his head a few times before he released with a soft moist sound. "Tell me if I do something wrong," he said, his voice rough and low.

"You could never do anything wrong," Nasir gasped and guided Agron's mouth back on his cock with rough hands.

Agron was all spit and tongue and warmth and wetness - that's how he himself liked his blowjobs - and from the sound of it, Nasir was enjoying it immensely.

Agron's saliva was gathering in Nasir's pubic hair and he could feel it around his mouth and on his chin when he took Nasir to the root.

Nasir was thrusting gently, moaning desperately and Agron could tell he was near. He didn't stop the drag of his lips and the slide of his tongue.

"Ag-ron..." Nasir groaned. "I'm gonna... Maybe you shouldn't..." He pulled softly at Agron's hair, to keep him there or to warn him or to get him off, Agron didn't know. He didn't stop.

Nasir wailed and thrashed and threw his head back as he shot his load in Agron's mouth. He coated Agron's palate, his tongue and the inside of his cheeks. Agron swallowed everything he got.

He frowned - _so this is how it fucking tastes_ \- poor girls of his past and Saxa and Nasir, who had all swallowed his cum a dozen times - but this was Nasir and he was whimpering in the aftermath and his cock was twitching in Agron's mouth, oversensitive and begging to be set free, and it was perfect. The cum was perfect. Nasir was perfect.

"Jesus..." Nasir sighed with a content smile on his face. His eyes were closed as Agron made his way back up his spent body.

Agron kissed the relaxed features of Nasir's face ever so softly: his forehead, his nose, his mouth. "That okay?" he whispered and put both his forearms on the bed on each side of Nasir's head, relaxing his body on top of the smaller man's.

Nasir opened his eyes slowly, his smile smug. "Better than okay."

Agron smiled proudly and planted another soft kiss to Nasir's mouth. Nasir ran his hands through the thick hairs on Agron's head, the locks he had been pulling just moments ago.

Agron moved to lean back on his knees and straddle Nasir's thighs. He pulled his open jeans down along with his boxer briefs; they had been too tight for too long and it was getting painful. He needed release.

Nasir grinned and reached out to stroke Agron's length gently at first and then with more force. Agron groaned as he followed the muscles in Nasir's forearm flexing and Nasir's hand pulling the foreskin over the head of his cock, faster and harder, until the room was spinning.

It took no more than a few moments until Agron spilled with a deep moan over Nasir's hand and chest.

He fell forward again, kissing Nasir's lips lazily. "Mm," he sighed into the kiss and smiled. Nasir smiled back - Agron could hardly see it, their mouths were so close - and caressed the contours of Agron's back.

"Have you never desired another man, Agron?" Nasir asked as their lips parted.

"No," Agron replied resolutely and rested his head on Nasir's chest.

"Never? Never ever?" Nasir didn't stop the soothing motion of his hands up and down Agron's back.

Agron looked up, raised his eyebrows and snickered. As he got his head comfortable on Nasir's chest again, he took a deep breath.

"There was... one. A long time ago. And it wasn't really... It was nothing."

Nasir kissed the top of Agron's head. "Tell me."

"I had this friend back home, Nemetes. We hung around at his place all the time, because his parents were never home. And then one night we were in his room, listening to music, smoking some pot... We thought we were alone in the house."

"And then you kissed?" Nasir's voice vibrated in his chest where Agron's head rested. Agron enjoyed the sound of it along with the beats of his heart.

"What?! No! Ew." He grimaced at the mere thought.

"Nemetes had an older brother, Julius. He wasn't around much, always at the gym or hanging with friends and girls. It was a couple of years before me and Nemetes really started going out. Julius got us the pot, though, and we had to try it. And, um... That night I left Nemetes in his room to go the bathroom and I stumbled down the hallway and when I opened the door, I heard the shower was on. They had these glass doors in the shower cubicle and Julius was in there, naked and wet. I stopped in the doorway and I watched him while he soaped himself and showered. I watched all of it. Ran off like a scared little boy when he turned off the water," Agron snickered.

"Were you turned on by it? Watching him?" Nasir asked, the soft movements of his fingers caressing Agron's arms now, almost lulling him to sleep.

"No. No, I don't think so. I was high and... I just remember his body. Probably just fascinated with his muscular form. I was a skinny lad myself. After that I started going to the gym. And then I started dating girls. Always girls."

Nasir nodded and fell silent.

Agron folded his hands on Nasir's chest and rested his head there instead so he could look into Nasir's eyes. From his position he could reach Nasir's stubbled chin if he puckered his lips, and he planted a tiny kiss there. "You're special, you know?" he whispered softly.

Nasir was quiet. He didn't remove his eyes from Agron's and Agron saw a brief flash of hurt until it vanished and made way to joy. Nasir's mouth reflected no more than a slightly askew smile.

When Agron felt the weight of his words and the weight of their unfaltering eye contact, he began drumming lightly on Nasir's chest before he got up.

"Now we both have cum all over," he grinned and went to fetch a moist towel from the bathroom.

Nasir looked down his own body and chuckled. He was a right mess, they both were.

Agron sloppily ran the towel across Nasir's chest and down his stomach, before he took care of himself.

"You make me fucking ravenous," he said as he buckled his pants.

"You can eat again?" Nasir's voice was surprised as he too pulled his boxers and pants up and got out of bed. "Didn't I just feed you?"

Agron laughed loud and heartily. "You're disgusting."

Nasir laughed too, self-satisfied little beautiful bastard.

"And well, you did take half of my sandwich and tossed it because of your little bitch fit," Agron joked - making damn sure Nasir knew he was joking - and winked with a smug smile.

"Stupid fuck," Nasir shoved him gently on the chest - making damn sure Agron knew he wasn't offended - and Agron reached out and grabbed him by the head. They kissed - one, two, three pecks - before they continued to dress.

"We could go out?" Nasir said carefully. He almost reminded Agron of Saxa, the way they both measured their words around him.

With good reason. "What are you talking about, you know we can't," Agron snorted at the ridiculousness of Nasir's proposal. "I'll order something. What you want? Chinese?"

"Please. Who would see us? Let's just drive for a while until we find a nice place. Away from here."

Agron knew Nasir was tired of hiding. Sick and tired of this hotel room and Agron was too.

But he was sceptical. They could run into anyone. And how the fuck would they explain dining together? Friends?

Agron was indeed sceptical, but Nasir's eyes were big and brown and pleading, and his body was golden and tight as it inch by inch disappeared behind clothes. Agron could still taste Nasir's cum and feel the weight of his cock on his tongue.

Agron knew there was nothing he could do. He could deny Nasir nothing.

He shook his head, admitting defeat. "We'll go all the way to the other end of town, okay?" He pointed at Nasir with a finger, his eyebrows raised but his eyes affectionate.

"Okay," Nasir grinned, all white teeth, swollen lips and sparkling eyes.

Agron's stomach fluttered as he grabbed his car keys from the table.

Ravenous. That was why.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I live for feedback :* will try and have chapter 9 up soon!


	9. Suspicion Torments My Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back in the game! Hope you like this one, if there's still any of you lovely readers left ('cos I have not been kind to you and I am sorry!)

The restaurant was a neat, intimate place. It was not very big and it was crowded, but Agron and Nasir had been lucky to get a table in the corner by the windows. 

A waitress brought their menus and Nasir sent Agron a shy smile, before he cast his gaze down to choose a meal. Agron couldn't help the corners of his mouth twitching into a smile, either.

They both made their choice and ordered.

Agron suddenly, involuntarily, felt panic seize him and he anxiously looked around the restaurant.

"Are you okay?" Nasir murmured softly and reached out to lay a hand on top of Agron's. Mid-way he regretted and withdrew his hand.

Agron sent the other man a brief, thankful smile. Thankful for his concern. Thankful for not letting their hands touch in public. He looked down, "Yeah. Fine."

Nasir observed his face. "You're not."

Their eyes met and Agron swallowed. "Yes," he persisted. Nasir raised an eyebrow and Agron sighed heavily. He whispered, "No... Look, Nasir, I enjoy spending time with you, you know I do." Under the table Agron reached out to stroke Nasir's knee gently. "I just feel like I'm in a place right now where I can't do this with you. The time we spend together have to be behind closed doors. For now." His words were hushed, but loaded with meaning. Some kind of meaning.

"What do you mean 'for now'?"

"I... I don't know," Agron shook his head. He _really_ didn't know. "Until everything blows over and we can go out under the pretence that we're mates. But in the wake of me attacking Castus... I just... This was a horrible idea."

"We'll eat the food and go. It's fine. I understand. You know that with you I'll take whatever I can get."

"You mean that?"

"I have to, won't I?" Nasir shrugged. "You're not offering anything else."

"I ca-"

"You can't. I know."

A waitress appeared at their table with their drinks and Agron and Nasir both fell silent.

"This is how it's gonna have to be," Agron said with resolution once their waitress was out of sight. 

"For now," Nasir muttered, his eyes lighting up with a speck of hope.

Agron didn't know what there was to hope for. That somehow everything would work itself out. Some days when he was in his darkest place he deeply wished that Saxa would fall in love with someone else. That _she_ would cheat on _him_. That he'd somehow be able to hold that against her, and that his own slip would never be revealed. 

That was what he meant with 'for now'. If Saxa decided she didn't want to be with Agron anymore, then he might be able to give more of himself to Nasir. But it was in her hands. His entire life was in her hands. 

Saxa... Fuck. The thought of her made Agron lose all appetite.

She was coming home soon. Christmas was upon them. And he'd spend the days of December cheating on her.

Agron reached out for his beer and gulped it.

Nasir's gaze wandered from Agron's to a spot behind the tall German. He swallowed visibly. "Okay, don't freak out, but I think Gannicus just walked in," he whispered.

Agron choked on his beer and his upper body fell forward across the table. He coughed into his napkin and found Nasir's eyes, a pair equally panic-stricken to match his own.

Nasir had barely spoken the words of Gannicus' arrival, before the blonde haired man's voice thundered through the restaurant.

"Nasir!" Gannicus' voice was cheerfully surprised, but it quickly changed into something resembling great confusion. "Agron?"

"Fuck, fucking shit, fuck," Agron hissed and hid his face in his hands. He prayed the Earth would open beneath him and swallow him whole, because embarassment as the one he was about to face was a fate worse than death.

"He's coming over," Nasir whispered, somehow managing to remain his cool exterior.

"We're just mates. Remember, we're just mates having dinner. Just mates," Agron ranted, desperately trying to keep his complete panic under control.

Nasir scoffed, "Oh really, Agron? I was debating in my head if I should tell him how much I fancy your cock in my ass."

This really wasn't the time nor place for gay sex jokes, and Agron was seething.

"Charmer you are," he sneered and bared his teeth.

Agron and Nasir spent the last few seconds before Gannicus reached their table conversing with their eyes. Agron's eyes said "Don't you fucking dare!" and in return Nasir's eyes spoke volumes of "Do you think I'm fucking stupid?"

"Hey you two."

And he was there. Agron's down-fall incorporated in a 5'8" blonde, polished smooth-talker.

"Gannicus," the German said through gritted teeth.

"What a crazy coincidence running into you here. What are you guys doing in this part of town?" Gannicus paused and looked between the two men, who appeared as deers caught in headlights. "Together?" He finished, the corner of his mouth twitching as if to prevent a smirk.

"We're mates." As soon as the words were out of Agron's mouth, he knew they had come too promptly.

Gannicus raised his eyebrows in surprise, but then seemed as if he thought no more of it. He chuckled, "Well, it sure looks like you're having fun."

"Just dinner... between mates, mate," Agron stammered, his fingers fiddling nervously with the corners of his napkin. 

Nasir shot him a look, but Agron kept his eyes fixed on Gannicus. He feared Gannicus would be able to sense something inappropriate between the two dining men.

"How's work? Not running it into the ground without me, are you?" Agron tried and had to clear his throat when his voice came out dark and hoarse.

"We're managing," Gannicus said. His smile was smug as he looked between Agron and Nasir, and Agron cursed him for it.

"So, what are _you_ doing here?" Nasir asked, breaking the uncomfortable silence that was filled with tension and was it suspicion?

"Sibyl works in this part of town, didn't you remember?" No, Agron didn't fucking remember. "She's in the car, I picked her up from her shift," Gannicus continued. "We've been here once or twice before for take-away, the food's really good." 

"What a coincidence indeed," Agron muttered. What were the odds, of all fucking places.

Silence rose as Gannicus stood by their table, his hands in his pockets. Agron continued to keep his eyes from Nasir.

"I think it's good you're making up," Gannicus then said.

Agron's head shot up at that. 

"Lucius told us why you weren't coming in," the blonde man explained. "I'm pleased to see you're working it out as adults."

"Yeah. That's what we're doing," Nasir smiled and nodded.

"Keep your temper in check though, bro," Gannicus chuckled and patted Agron's arm. "You're not a gladiator on the sand."

"I'll keep that in mind."

"Okay, well..." Gannicus swayed a little on his feet, glancing to the menu-card above the register.

"Give Sibyl our love, won't you?" Nasir said calmly. His smile to Gannicus was sincere and confident as he did his last and best to act as though nothing about the situation was weird. 

"Will do, little man. Enjoy your dinner," Gannicus reached out and shook Nasir's hand. He then turned towards Agron. "German," he smirked, and the two shook hands as well.

Gannicus disappeared in the direction of the register, and Nasir and Agron spoke no more words to each other.

-

Agron stormed through the door of the hotel room and went straight for his suitcase. He apathetically tossed his belongings into it and zipped it close. Nasir stood in silence and watched.

"That is it. This is over. This ends _now_ ," Agron growled and went for the door again, aiming to leave as quickly as they had returned.

Nasir stood in front of the door, unintentionally blocking Agron's path. Nasir was not going to beg, it seemed. He just appeared to find the whole thing ridiculous. His arms were casually crossed across his chest. "Agron, please. Come on, put the fucking suitcase down."

"He saw us!" Agron roared and raised his arms up his sides.

"He saw nothing!" Nasir barked and took a step towards the other man.

"He saw everything! That man may be a slow, drunken fuck, but he's not stupid! You and me, having dinner... Far away from everything. What the fuck was I thinking? He's gonna tell everyone... Saxa'll know." Agron's voice broke and he slid a shaky hand through his hair.

Nasir reached out to touch Agron's face, "He said it himself, we did a fine thing working it out as adults. It was your way of apologising. You invited me to dinner so we could have a chat and move on." He stroked Agron's cheek, "No one will suspect anything."

Agron retaliated from Nasir's touch, "I behaved like a fucking maniac. Trust me, he will suspect."

He pushed past Nasir to get to the bathroom, where he did quick work of packing his toothbrush and products.

"'We did a fine thing'," Agron snorted angrily to himself. Nasir could obviously hear everything and Agron knew it. "Lying and cheating and ruining everything. Fine fucking thing."

Nasir sighed with exasperation from the small entrance way of their hotel room. "You did fine. Agron, why should he tell anyone? Do you really think he cares at all? Do you think he gave it as much thought as you are right now?" 

"You understand nothing," Agron said coming out of the bathroom. "Get the hell out of my way." He opened the front door, but it was immediately shut closed again by Nasir's flat palm.

Agron looked down into Nasir's eyes. They were filled with dread as if he'd only just now realized that Agron was serious about leaving. The little man softly placed both of his hands on Agron's chest. "No. Please don't go, Agron. You said 'it's not now'. You said we could do this until she comes home."

"Change of fucking plans," Agron spat and shoved Nasir to the side.

Nasir's voice was emotional as he croaked out, "I am getting nowhere with you, am I? Why am I wasting my time? Wasting my emotions?"

Agron turned on his heel and took a step towards Nasir, his finger raised. "You're pathethic," he growled. "You thought if only you could make me stay with you that I'd fall in love with you, that I'd leave my wife for you? You're nothing to me. You're a tight hole, a wet mouth." Agron dug his finger into Nasir's chest and pushed him slightly as if disgusted. "You mean nothing to me, Nasir. _Nothing_." 

"You don't mean that," Nasir's eyes were watery and his Adam's Apple bobbed as he swallowed hard. " _You_ are pathetic, because I see the way you look at me. I feel it when you're inside of me." He shook his head, "You can't fake that." 

"Right, maybe you're right, maybe I _am_ bisexual as fuck. Now I've had my fill of men, and I've certainly had my fill of _you_ ," Agron snarled, his desire to leave the hotel room suddenly overwhelming.

Nasir's expression changed from sadness to anger: red hot anger. He raised his chin and frowned, "You literally sucked my cock three hours ago. You swallowed everything I gave to you," he hissed and shoved Agron's chest. "You're gonna kiss your wife with that mouth?"

"Be careful, boy," Agron growled and backed Nasir up against the wall. He fisted his hands in Nasir's shirt. "Let's see how cocky you are when it's her I'm fucking and not you."

"I'll find something better," Nasir spat, their faces inches from each other. "There's plenty of men eager for this 'tight hole', this 'wet mouth'. Men who aren't cheating, lying, arrogant, _closeted_ scumbags."

Agron's vision blackened for a moment as his fist collided with the wall inches from Nasir's head. Someone was roaring. It was himself. Nasir stood still. Agron's sight slowly returned and his stomach churned with the need to throw up.

Nasir's eyes were squeezed shut and his head was turned away from where Agron's fist had hit the wall.

Agron was panting. He couldn't get enough air into his lungs. Everything hurt. Blood was flowing from the busted skin on his knuckles. Nasir was looking at him now, pure fear and shock in his eyes. 

"I'm sorry..." Agron whispered. "I would never hurt you. I'm sorry..."

"Somehow I find that very hard to believe," Nasir whispered and he was right. Agron knew in his heart that he would never hurt Nasir with his fists, but he _would_ hurt him. That much was certain. "You're right. You should go." 

Agron's body fell forward and he bent down to lean his forehead on Nasir's. "I'm so sorry..."

"We're done. It's what you want. It's what I want." Nasir's breath was warm on Agron's face and Agron's body ached with the need to kiss him, to hold him, to leave the hotel room and never look back, to never leave and never go back.

"No... It's not... It doesn't matter anyway. It doesn't matter what I want. I can never... You know I can never." Agron wanted to cry and seek comfort in Nasir.

Nasir let out a shaky breath as his hand reached up to cradle Agron's neck. When he spoke, Agron could tell he was crying even though he couldn't see his face, "Look, you're scared. I get it. But the things you're saying to me... it's not right, and you know it."

Agron nodded, his eyes shut as he drank in Nasir's scent. "I'm terrified," he whispered. "If we stop this now, then maybe..."

"You don't want this to stop," Nasir said softly and shook his head.

Agron scoffed, "I want this to stop more than I want anything in my life."

"You're lying," Nasir sighed and withdrew from their intimate position.

Agron grabbed the other man's arm to prevent him from slipping away. Their eyes locked intensely, "I want these things I'm feeling inside to go away, because you know I can never do anything about it. Never. This is my life, Nasir," he explained with pure desperation in his voice. "I wish I'd never met you, and at the same time that very thought kills me."

"Agron-" Nasir's voice broke on the last syllable.

Agron turned around and left, shutting the door without looking back. He had made his choice.


	10. Homecoming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A short one to keep you on the edge of your seats. I'm evil, I know.

Agron heard no sound from Nasir in the days that followed. He compulsively, obsessively checked his phone for any sign that Nasir was thinking about him. Nothing.

It was pure torture. 

Agron couldn't text Nasir first. He had lost that right. If his fist had been inches to the right, Agron would have hit Nasir. He was restless, guilt and longing tearing on his insides.

Maybe Nasir waited for Agron to text first? 

No.

Agron had left him alone in the hotel room. Alone to pack his things, alone to check out early. Alone in the wake of an emotional beating. And almost a physical one. 

If Nasir was smart, he had deleted Agron's number. And Nasir _was_ smart. And kind and patient and warm. 

Agron wrote out: "I miss you, -A", frowned and deleted the message. Then he tried with "I'm so sorry," and lastly "I need to see you". They were both deleted as quickly as the first and never sent. 

Did Agron even miss him? Was it in fact longing? Was it possible to miss someone who held nothing but an inconvenient and difficult position in one's life? Or was it regret? Regret that he had behaved so wrongly, so unfairly to Nasir? 

It almost felt like a hangover. Everything ached. His head, his muscles. A moral hangover, perhaps.

Was it even possible to miss someone so much, someone who was the cause of an equal measure of pain and desire and hatred and affection?

Because Agron hated Nasir. God, he hated him with a burning passion. But he cared for him with that same passion. He cared for him so, so much. 

Maybe Agron mistook his longing for Saxa with his longing for Nasir. Maybe all he really needed was to have someone in his arms and at this point it didn't even matter who it was. Was this what lonesomeness felt like? Could a person die from lonesomeness? 

But no. This was about Nasir. It was all about Nasir.

Nasir filled up everything. Agron's every thought, his every action, in his sleep. He saw raven hair wherever he turned and prayed for the day of Saxa's arrival to come. She and her love would bring him on his right path, because he was severely off course.

And he prayed for the day to never come. Saxa's return would mean a definite end. Maybe they _should_ move back to Germany after all. The distance between Agron and his secret lover was big and cold as it was. What would it matter if he was on the other side of the Earth? 

The day finally - unfortunately - came.

Agron found himself at the airport, nervously scratching at his beard. It was a warm day and sweat was running down his back, staining his grey t-shirt.

The doors opened and passengers stormed out and greeted their loved ones at the gates. Agron's eyes scanned the crowd for a tiny creature with curls, and his heart burst in his chest when he saw the boy. 

"Papa!"

"God," Agron muttered and swept Duro up in his arms, burying his nose in those curls and breathing in. "Liebling. My baby boy. I missed you so much." The words were whispered lowly into Duro's ear, followed by a kiss to his temple. "Did you and mommy have a good time?"

"Yes, the best!" Duro squealed and pulled back to meet Agron's eyes. "We saw grandma and grandpa and they gave me presents, and Papa, I built a snowman and we used a carrot for nose," the boy explained with enthusiasm and Agron had no choice but to plant a wet kiss on the child's forehead, his body aching with love.

Saxa appeared dragging her suitcase in one hand and Duro's little blue one in the other behind her. 

She was a vision. Agron was truly impressed with how she still managed to look amazing after hours on a plane.

Her hair was gathered in a long ponytail and even in sweats and tank top she carried herself with confidence and elegance.

"Hey," Agron said softly, unsure of what to expect of her mood. They had ended on good terms the last time they spoke on the phone, and Saxa had no reason to suspect anything was out of the ordinary.

But Agron also recalled the last time they had seen each other in person. It was in a prison cell. 

Duro squirmed in his arms and Agron put him down to the floor again.

Saxa smiled brightly. "Hey," she whispered and took a step closer. She stood up on her toes to plant a soft kiss to his lips.

When she pulled away, Agron's lips tingled. He felt his mouth break into a smile and relief flooding over him. 

"Let's go home, huh? Come here, little monkey," Agron growled and grabbed Duro. The boy squeaked heartily as he was thrown up to sit on Agron's shoulders. He started drumming softly with his small hands on the top of Agron's head. 

With one hand securely on Duro's right leg and his other hand relieving Saxa of the bigger suitcase, the family exited the airport.

As they did, Saxa placed a warm hand on the small of Agron's back and they shared a smile.

Agron now knew that Saxa's return was everything he had longed for and everything he needed.

-

When they finished a late dinner, complete with riveting tales from Germany, Duro was visibly struggling with his eyes at the table. "But, Papa, I haven't even told you about..." Duro mumbled as Agron tugged him into bed. Duro's voice was heavy with sleep and his eyes were merely cracks.

"Tomorrow, son," Agron whispered and kissed the boy's forehead.

"Tmmro..." Duro murmured indistinctly before he was sound asleep. Agron smiled to himself, shut off the lights in the boy's room and headed down the hall to the bedroom.

He opened the door and yawned, but stopped abruptly as he took in the scene before him. Saxa, completely naked and spread out on the bed, touching herself.

"Hey, handsome," she purred and gasped as three of her own fingers slid inside of her.

Agron blinked and swallowed hard. No reaction in his pants. At all. No fucking reaction.

"Aren't- aren't you tired?" he stuttered.

"Tired of not having you inside me, yeah," Saxa teased and got up from the bed. As she walked towards him, she took all the three fingers that had been inside her and put them in her mouth, licking and sucking them suggestively.

Agron chuckled and had to clear his throat, because it felt like something was caught in there. Maybe it was his bad conscience.

She got up close and pushed him lightly on the chest. He backed up against the door and it closed behind him.

Agron gazed down her body and into her eyes; they were pitch black with desire. She grabbed the hem of his shirt and tugged it, pulling it over his head. Agron's body was tense as she placed kisses to his stomach, his chest and his throat. She then roughly grabbed the back of his head and kissed his lips with ferocity, forcing her tongue inside.

Agron's hands wavered around her waist and her back. He felt like a virgin again. Except for the boner. It was still missing.

"Fuck me, baby," Saxa moaned as they broke apart for air, and she guided Agron's hand down between her legs.

Agron gasped as he felt her. Soft, open and wet. So familiar and yet so... different.

He couldn't do it.

He laughed nervously and withdrew his hand, moist from her arousal. "What's gotten into you?"

She drew back, looking offended. "What's gotten into me? I haven't seen my husband in two weeks and I'm horny, that's what. Don't you want me?"

Fuck.

Agron loved sex. He was a man who would never turn down cunt. That's how Saxa knew him. That's how he used to be. He couldn't say no to her, she would know something was completely wrong.

He had to go through with it. He closed his eyes and prayed for an erection. 

Saxa was beautiful. So gorgeous. She had always turned Agron on without fail.

If only... 

If only her hair was black, her eyes brown, her chest flat, her skin stretched taut over firm muscle, her cunt was a cock. 

"Yes. Of course I want you." His voice was so rough that he didn't even recognise it himself as he spoke.

Saxa grinned.

"It's been me and my hand for two weeks." Agron laughed breathlessly before completing his lie, "I missed you and I want you."

He had turned his voice seductive, and the wicked smile on Saxa's lips proved to him that his lie had been bought.

He damned the organ between his legs that wouldn't be able to tell a lie and still refused to rise. 

Saxa brought their lips together and Agron tried to recall an easier time when Saxa was all he wanted and desired. 

He tried to forget the feeling of rougher, stronger hands on him. He tried desperately to enjoy the small hands and skinny fingers on his shoulder and on his ass, long manicured nails digging into his flesh. 

He closed his eyes tightly and reached around Saxa to grab the back of her thigh. He hoisted her leg around his waist and the position allowed him space to rub his clothed cock against her cunt. The friction had her moaning and had Agron's cock responding at last.

He wasn't fully hard when he entered her, but her heat engulfed him and the sensation was undeniably delicious. 

With closed eyes, Saxa's eager lips on his and thoughts of Nasir, Agron came within few minutes. As he got his breath back, a sense of comfort came over him: he had done his husbandly duty; he had done what was expected of him.

Not remarkably well - he could tell by Saxa's breathless "you finished?" with an edge of dissapointment - but he had done it none the less. 

"Sorry," he muttered sheepishly and went to the bed.

He could hear Saxa huffing about angrily and making unnecessary much noise going to the bathroom to clean herself up.

It had been two weeks without sex for Agron. At least that's what Saxa knew and believed. It was no wonder he hadn't lasted that long.

Almost believing that lie himself, Agron fell into deep sleep.


	11. New Year's Eve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the infinitely long wait. I hope I haven't lost all my wonderful readers. Right now I'm taking a break from my Bachelor's project on homosexual subtexts in Victorian literature to write other homosexual stuff. Hope you'll enjoy :)

Agron was in a very good mood. 

The two last weeks of December passed and Nasir was slowly becoming a somewhat distant memory. Christmas had been a great distraction and all of Agron's love and affection had been poured onto his family. 

On the night of utmost warmth and love, Agron had cooked for his little family and Duro had been buried in presents. Too much toys for one boy to handle, but each joyful facial expression and each grateful embrace had been cherished more than ever. 

Agron now knew what was important: Saxa and Duro. Nothing else. No one else. 

The last day of the year was hosted by newlyweds Crixus and Naevia. Agron knew what that meant: Nasir was going to be there. Agron did not fear it. He did not fear he would slip. Saxa was there, his kid was there. All of his friends. It would keep him grounded. He and Nasir would stick to each their corner and no words but "Hello" and "Goodbye" needed to be said between them.

Agron and Saxa spent the better part of the day getting ready for the party. They showered together, nothing sexual, simply being close and enjoying their time together. 

They dressed up and got a slightly reluctant Duro ready in the last minute before they got in the car and drove towards Crixus and Naevia's house. 

From the outside they could hear the other guests chatting and after she had rung the bell, Saxa turned around to quickly fix the bowties of both her boys. 

"I love you," Agron whispered as her hands fiddled underneath his chin. 

She smiled up at him and spun around when Naevia opened the door.

"Come on in!" Naevia squealed as they had hugged and said their hello's. She took Duro in her arms, gave him a big wet kiss to the cheek and carried him inside. Saxa and Agron followed. 

"Happy New Year," Agron greeted his friends, hugging Crixus, Spartacus and Gannicus, their wives and the others, also wishing all of them a Merry Christmas.

The living room was buzzing with chatter and Naevia handed out bubbly welcome drinks. 

It wasn't until the door bell rang that it dawned on Agron. Nasir wasn't here - yet. 

The last dinner guest to arrive entered the living room in a tight white button-up and a wide smile. Always fashionably late and needless to say, Nasir looked absolutely stunning. 

And Agron was suffocating. He had been okay. He had been good. He had put Nasir at an emotional distance. Until this moment. 

Nasir took a round to greet everyone, and seeing him across the room made Agron's stomach coil up with heat. His face felt warm and his palms sweaty. He squeezed Saxa's hand and listened to her discuss choice of New Year's dresses with Sura and Sibyl. 

"Hi there," Nasir's soft voice was suddenly very close, and Saxa responded to it immediately.

"Nasir, hi! Happy New Year," she smiled and drew him into a hug. The sight had Agron's heart pounding - whether it was from seeing his wife hugging his gay lover or simply from seeing Nasir again, he didn't know. Nasir glanced up at Agron and their eyes met behind Saxa's back. It was just like when they had been at Barca and Pietros' house and Agron shivered at the memory. 

Nasir gave the perfect impression that he and Agron had in fact only met a few times as well when he turned to greet him.

"Agron. Nice to see you again," he said and put his hand forth for Agron to take it. Nasir played the role of mere acquaintance to aces, but Agron could see true sincerity in Nasir's eyes. He meant his words. 

"You too," Agron shook Nasir's hand, and hoped Nasir knew that Agron meant his words, too. Because God, was it nice to see him again. He hadn't expected to feel like this. He thought he had been prepared, but nothing could prepare him for Nasir's brown, pleading deer eyes and plumb lips.

"You look so beautiful, Saxa. Agron is one lucky man," Nasir's smile was wide and Saxa's grew even wider at his words.

"I'm sure he knows," she said and placed a hand on her husband's chest. Agron hoped she wouldn't feel the fast beats of his heart.

Damn, Nasir was good at this game. So proper in his tone and appearance. So convincing. So damn charming. He kept up small-talk with Saxa for a good ten minutes, so relaxed in his body language with one hand in his pocket and a glass in the other. 

Agron slipped away and talked football and work with the others before Naevia announced dinner to be ready. 

Throughout the evening Nasir and Agron didn't talk. Not because they were ignoring each other, not obviously and not really. It was just simply natural for them not to be in the same conversations. They were seated at each end of the table during the wonderful feast Naevia and Crixus had prepared, and the small glances they sent each other's ways were broken off quickly to not risk getting caught. 

Agron felt it was going all right. He was struggling, but not visibly. Saxa hadn't noticed a thing and Agron busied himself cutting out meat for Duro and cheering in beer. 

Naevia and Crixus had invited more guests to join them after dinner - friends they knew from high school and their plus-one's - and soon the party was lively and boisterous. The kids had been tucked in in the newlywed's king sized bed and were sleeping tightly enough to not notice the music being turned up. 

Agron had trouble keeping up with the new faces he didn't know, so he found a quiet corner to sit in for just a moment. He was overwhelmed, a little drunk and exhausted from internal tumult. And guilt. All that goddamn guilt that he had suppressed for weeks now. Saxa was so beautiful as she danced with the other girls to an 80's pop song, so elegant and unknowing. Unknowing of his wrong-doings, unaware that Agron's biggest mistake was now joining her on the floor to "I Wanna Dance With Somebody".

When the song was over and Nasir had spun her around a couple of times, Saxa came to sit in his lap. "It's almost time," she whispered in his ear, bit his earlobe and giggled. She was a bit tipsy, Agron could tell, but so wonderful and she still smelled of that perfume she had put on hours earlier, when they had stood naked in the bathroom after their shower, kissing gently and sharing soft smiles.

She took his hand and led him to the garden by the crowd, who was gathering to eagerly participate in the countdown.

Saxa's hand was warm in his and it was no surprise that when the clock struck 12, she jumped eagerly in his arms to get her New Year's kiss. 

What was a surprise to him, however, was the way his eyes met Nasir's across the sea of people right before the clock went home. Nasir at first seemed happy to have found Agron's eyes, but then quickly sad. 

Agron felt a sting of guilt - he felt guilty that he was holding Saxa's hand in front of Nasir, but most of all guilty that he was holding Saxa's hand when a part of him wished that he was holding Nasir's instead. 

Saxa's lips parted Agron's to let her tongue caress his and all the while Agron never tore his eyes away from Nasir's. Everything was a chaos of cheers and champagne bottles popping and kissing couples around them. Fireworks were exploding above their heads. No one would possibly notice the way Agron was sending Nasir apologies through his eyes as he was kissing his wife. 

Nasir's eyes were still sad. He gave Agron a brave and understanding nod of his head, before he turned around and hugged the others with enthusiasm appropriate for the moment.

The celebration soon drifted back inside the house and dancing was resumed. Saxa wanted Agron to join her on the floor, but Agron laughed, drew her into a hug and whispered, "Be right back baby, gotta go to the bathroom." 

He smiled at her vaguely and she sighed as he kissed her cheek. She turned around and disappeared into the crowd as Agron slipped away to make his way to the bathroom. 

The main one was occupied so he headed down the hall to find the small one by the laundry room. He did his business with no other troubles than the swaying of his feet from the alcohol and the lump in his throat. 

"Everything alright?" a voice said behind him when he exited the bathroom. Agron nearly jumped from the startle, but he recognized the voice immediately and spun around, butterflies already in his stomach.

"Yeah. Shouldn't you be in there with the others?"

Nasir shrugged but stayed silent. He and Agron looked at each other for a couple of heartbeats. 

Then Agron strode over to Nasir, grabbed his face with both hands and kissed him. 

Nasir was taken aback and didn't respond to the kiss for a few seconds. Then he returned it with equal ferocity and a sigh escaped his lips.

Agron backed Nasir into the laundry room to their left and shut the door behind them. The party was at its highest in the living room in the other end of the house and Agron was positive that no one had seen them. And he almost didn't care if anyone had. Because Nasir was here, kissing him and pushing him up against the closed door. 

"Oh... Oh god...Mm," Agron moaned between kisses, though barely letting his lips off Nasir's for more than seconds at a time.

When they broke apart for air, Agron rested his forehead on Nasir's, his hands still cradling the smaller man's face.

Nasir broke into a smile. "We have to stop meeting like this." 

Agron breathed a laugh. "I cannot put into words how much I've missed you."

"I've missed you, too. So much, you have no idea," Nasir whispered and stroked Agron's hands with his own.

They smiled into the next kiss. It was just a soft peck.

"I wanted to kiss you. When that clock stroke midnight. I wanted to kiss you, not Saxa," Agron heard himself say, surprised that he wasn't embarrassed about admitting it. He wasn't, not to Nasir, at least.

"I wanted you to kiss me, too. I wanted you to take my hand and steal me away from the crowd. And kiss me senseless," smiled Nasir warmly.

Agron closed the distance between them again, placing a soft kiss to Nasir's lips.

"Happy New Year," he whispered.

Nasir grinned, happiness and hope shining from his eyes. "Happy New Year."

Their faces tumbled together in a kiss that was stronger than the former. Nasir's hands slid up Agron's back and he pressed his palms to the strong shoulder blades. Their bodies were lined up perfectly as they desperately sought to be closer. Agron placed two strong hands on the back of Nasir's thighs and lifted him up to sit on the washing machine.

Their hands and lips were urgent and craving, having been apart for too long. 

"I can't be your secret anymore. It's too hard. I want you. All of you," Nasir whispered inbetween kisses.

"Don't talk," Agron pleaded, and surged forward for another kiss, when they were interrupted by noise in the hallway. They both froze and waited it out for a few seconds. The noise disappeared. 

"You should get back out there," Nasir said softly and kissed Agron's forehead. He could easily reach from his position on the washing machine. "Before your wife starts looking for you. I just wanted to properly wish you a happy new year." Nasir was sounding apologetic. There was no need. God, no need in the world.

"I'm glad you did. I'm glad you followed me," Agron smiled and caressed Nasir's arms to show him just how glad he was and how deeply he did not want to go back to the party. He quickly gave Nasir a quick kiss before he turned and headed for the door.

"You look really good tonight," Nasir smirked and glanced appreciatingly down Agron's body.

Agron swirled, giddy with butterflies in his stomach. "Thank you, I - "

"Don't talk. I'll see you soon. Go back out there, Mr. Straight Man," Nasir said heavily and winked flirtingly. He jumped down and opened the door for Agron to leave first.

Agron could almost swear this resembled something that might feel like being in love. He gave Nasir a warm smile and walked out and down the hall. His cheeks were flaming and his head was spinning.

He could feel Nasir was watching him, but he also knew that Nasir was waiting to not make it seem too obvious to people that they had been alone.

For the rest of the night Nasir resumed to acting like nothing had happened and that the two hardly knew each other.

Agron resumed to being the straight man hanging out with his straight friends, and by the end of the night he had to take the hand of his wife and go home to sleep next to her, instead of next to that man who, admittedly, was slowly taking up more and more space inside of him.


	12. Institutionalised Cannibalism

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys. I am completely honored and grateful for your feedback, thoughts and comments on the last chapter! Thank you like super infinitely much for still reading, for taking your time to comment, and for having an opinion about the plot and the characters and their interaction. As a writer, I could not be happier. 
> 
> Many of you were not happy with the way Nasir seemed to easily forgive Agron, because, indeed, Agron has not been treating him well. I attempted to portray that Agron is not the only one with emotional turmoil. They were both drunk, they were both there and finally reunited. Nasir is falling in love, so is Agron, and I felt they needed a reunion of flirtation and joy. I hope you'll like this new, somewhat short chapter (sorry) where Nasir proves to be anything but a doormat and Agron tries to open his heart to a friend.
> 
> I, once again, hope to be able to update more regularly. Definitely not abandoned. Lots of kisses to you all

His head was aching. Such a terrible ache. His mouth was dry and every fiber of his being was screaming for water.

Hangovers. Terrible, obligatory January 1st hangovers. 

Like the angel she was, Saxa appeared as sent from heaven with a glass of cold water and an aspirin. She placed it on the nightstand and kissed his cheek. She seemed to be feeling fine. 

"I've got breakfast ready downstairs, when you feel like it," she whispered close to his face, her breath already minty-fresh. 

The pillow was too soft and the light streaming in from the windows too brutal.

He groaned. "Be there in a sec, babe."

Saxa left, and Agron grabbed his phone to check for messages. He was hoping that there'd be at least one from the man whose lips Agron told himself he could still feel on his own.

There were New Year's wishes from Saxa's parents and from a couple of friends from Germany. Agron scrolled the feed. 

Nothing from Nasir. Fucking _nothing_.

The clock said 11:42. Maybe Nasir was still sleeping. He'd been drunk last night too. He was most certainly still sleeping. Agron sighed into the cotton of the pillow case, cursing himself for the dissapointment flooding him. 

The sigh turned into an exasperated groan, as Agron remembered that they left the car last night at Crixus and Naevia's. They had sensibly taken a cab home, and Agron had had a sleeping Duro leaning against him on the backseat, his own thoughts a terrible mess that prevented him from napping during the ride.

They would have to go get the car today. Agron wasn't in the mood for any company, least of all Crixus and Naevia's, but he supposed he could get the task done fast. Maybe Saxa would have to drive. Agron could still feel the alcohol affecting him - or at least the after-tremors of it. 

He dragged himself out of bed and almost crawled down the stairs to the smell of egg and bacon, which he discovered he craved more than anything. 

Duro was watching Disney Channel and Saxa was on the phone.

" _Mutter_ ," she whispered to let Agron know that it was her mother on the phone. 

Agron nodded, sat down and ate everything Saxa had cooked for him. He immediately felt better. A shower would be the last thing he needed to feel like himself again. 

In the shower he felt more like himself than he had in a while. His cock was persisent and hard from the thought of last night's laundry room rendezvous. Nasir's lips, his black soft hair in a ponytail that made Agron want to grab it from behind, his firm thighs underneath Agron's hands as he effortlessly lifted him up.

Agron moaned softly. The water was cleansing, healing. His body was soapy and his hands slid easily down his pecs and abs. He had refrained from touching his cock, but it was so hard that it almost rested near his belly button. It was painful. 

He took a firm hold and began stroking. Up and down. 

"Uhh... Mmh." 

He was sliding into Nasir. It was so tight. Agron's hand tightened. In his mind, Nasir was moaning, hissing, moaning. Pain and pleasure. So tight...

Agron's mouth opened in a soundless "O" and he let his head fall back. His free hand came up to steady himself on the dewy glass of the shower doors.

"Fuck." He gritted his teeth as he stained the doors with sprays of cum.

The clock was 1 in the afternoon when Agron took the train to Crixus and Naevia's. He felt clear in his head, so Saxa stayed home with Duro while Agron picked up the car.

He mostly just wanted to get into the vehicle and drive away, but Saxa had told him it was common politeness to pop in and say 'hi and thanks for last night.' So Agron did.

He rung the bell once, twice. The lock on the door twisted and turned and Crixus popped out his bearded, hungover head. His eyes were small and his hair a mess.

"Hey," Agron greeted. 

"Agron. Morning. Or good afternoon, I suppose. Come on in," said Crixus and opened the door completely.

"Oh, no, I just wanted to say that I'm taking my car, so..."

 _"Nonsense! Agron, come on in, have a glass of juice!"_ Naevia shouted from inside the house. 

"She squeezed it this morning," Crixus shrugged. "Orange."

Agron was still greatly dehydrated from the alcohol. He was parched and water somehow always tasted funny to him with hangovers. Fresh, cold orange juice sounded like heaven. 

"Thank you. It's a hot day," Agron said to Crixus, who let him into the hallway. 

Agron bowed down to take off his shoes, but Crixus stopped him and told him it was alright. He didn't fancy much company either, Agron gathered. In another time the two men might have been mortal enemies, but perhaps only due to the similarities in their raging, impatient, strong-willed personalities. 

Crixus led him into the living room, where Agron stopped in his tracks.

There were two black ponytails in the couch, curled up under a blanket, their eyes fixated on a movie on the screen. Agron didn't see which movie, didn't care. 

Both the ponytailed heads turned syncronically to look at him.

Nasir looked tired and slightly uncomfortable. He was dressed in a white t-shirt several sizes too big for him, and Agron figured it was Crixus'. It pained him to the core that Nasir wasn't wearing his. 

On the sofa table were pizza trays and the smell of them made Agron hungry again. 

"Morning, sweetie. How are you?" Naevia smiled. "Got it bad?"

Agron looked at Nasir and thought 'yes.'

"I suffered from the worst headache of the century when I woke," Agron chuckled. "It's better now."

"Yeah, we're having a real hangover treatment day here. Pizza and movies are the only cure," Naevia said as she got up. As she brushed past Agron she patted him on the shoulder before she disappeared into the kitchen with Crixus.

"It's true," Agron smiled to Nasir, wanting never to leave now that the other man was right there. It was such a domestic situation to see him in, and Agron's insides curled up. He wanted to sit down, but knew that he couldn't. 

Instead he took a tentative step forward. "Hey, Nasir," he said, his voice soft and full of emotion. Nasir was visibly taken aback.

Agron felt nervous. And not nervous to be caught looking at Nasir the way he was looking at him right now, but nervous because he wasn't seeing the same things in Nasir's eyes that he had seen yesterday. 

"Hi. Uh, good morning." Nasir had his legs up on the couch in a position so that he could rest his arms straight out from his face on his knees. Only his head was turned against Agron, his body still towards the insignificant movie on the screen.

With the tone of Nasir's voice, Agron began to believe that last night hadn't happened at all. Had he dreamt it?

No. His lips were still tingling, his body humming from having been so close to Nasir's again. It had happened alright.

Naevia and Crixus were still chatting quietly in the kitchen, so Agron took another step towards the couch.

"When can I see you?" He whispered and reached out to lay a hand on Nasir's shoulder, but immediately regretted the move and awkwardly stuffed the hand in the pocket of his denim shorts instead.

Nasir frowned. "You're seeing me right now."

Agron breathed a shy laugh. "No, I mean..." 

"I know what you mean. It's not a good idea." Nasir's voice was hard, determined and unwavering. 

Agron wanted to die when Nasir turned his head to the movie.

Someone had plunged a knife through Agron's heart. They were twisting and turning it, severing it from all veins and pulling it out of its place.

He cleared his throat. "But... yesterday..."

"I was drunk," Nasir shrugged and the sting of tears suddenly burned in Agron's eyes. Nasir looked back at him, and lowered his voice to a barely audible whisper, "And I also told you. I dont want to be your secret anym - "

"One glass of ice-cold, freshly-squeezed orange juice for the tall German," Naevia cluelessly interrupted with a jolly smile when she entered the living room once more. "Nasir almost gulped it all this morning. Lucky there's anything left."

"Yeah, lucky - look, I have to go," Agron said quickly. He brought the glass to his mouth and emptied it in nano seconds. "Thank you," he kissed Naevia's cheek and shook Crixus' hand before he almost tripped himself running out of the front door.

In the burning hot car, he gripped the steering wheel hard and willed himself not to cry or scream as he drove home.

How could the boy change opinion so fucking fast. Fucking tease. "Fucking..." Agron cursed and turned the volume of the radio deafeningly high. His headache came creeping back to protest against the loud music, but Agron didn't care. 

Anger replaced sadness and hopelessness replaced anger, as Agron parked by his house. Through the window he could see Saxa and Duro on the couch, Duro resting his curly head on his mother's chest.

He scoffed at himself. _Hopelessness._ His entire world was in there, full of hope and joy and love. Agron was ungrateful and greedy, and self-hate replaced hopelessness.

Agron sighed. He had wished for a single day without emotional turmoil, a single day where all he felt were the remnants of alcohol. But he also knew that those two things notoriously often went hand in hand.

He looked at his phone. He didn't know what he thought he'd might see there. There was nothing.

He turned it off. Not knowing if Nasir texted him was better than the silence of a phone who was turned on and able to receive messages that never came.

-

A new year meant a new start.

That's what Agron decided when he woke on January 2nd.

Agron didn't respond well to rejection. He had always been a looker. Tall, broad, dimples and all. He and Duro had been handsome boys growing up and Agron had - although he 'hated to brag', as he'd usually put it with a smug smile - broken a heart or several in his time.

He never got his heart broken. It had broken once, when his brother was taken from him, and no pain had ever come close.

The pain of Nasir's rejection demanded to be felt, and Agron knew he deserved it. It was not because Agron didn't understand. Of course Nasir couldn't go on being his secret. And no way on Earth was their relation going public. So it had to end. Obviously. That was what Agron had concluded. He told himself he was fine. He _was_ fine. It was fun while it lasted. And it had been fun. Very fucking amazing and fun. 

And _God_ , Agron missed Nasir.

But January became February.

Agron left Nasir alone. And most horrible of all, Nasir left Agron alone. Completely alone.

The hardest thing, besides not seeing Nasir anymore, was living with the secret of his infidelity. He desperately wanted to tell his psychologist or even Spartacus, but he could not get the words past his lips. That would put it out in the open, and Agron couldn't risk it.

Still, he tried.

"Spartacus. Have you never wanted to be with another woman?"

Spartacus' head appeared from behind his screen. It was late, half past five, and most of their colleagues had left the office on that Wednesday evening. Agron and Spartacus had stayed back to finish the day's assignment along with a few others who sat at a table further down. The coffee was hot in the pot and the clicking of keyboards was the only sound to be heard.

"You mean, have sex with or...?" Spartacus frowned but leaned back in his chair. A small sigh escaped his lips at the comfortable new position that allowed him to stretch his back. He saw Agron's conversation starter as an opportunity for a break and reached out to bring his cup of coffee to his lips. 

Agron nodded, his cheeks flushing with red. The room was suddenly warm. "Yes. Yeah, I think. I mean... After you married her? You've been married for, what - 12 years? You've never felt tempted to sleep with somebody else or, I don't know... Fall in love again?"

"Who is she, brother?" Spartacus smirked and raised a brow of feign suspicion as he put the cup back down to the desk. He licked his lips, relishing in the remaining taste and warmth from the coffee.

"Perfectly hypothethical," said Agron and took a sip of his scalding coffee.

Spartacus smiled that warm, sincere and reassuring smile of his. "Agron. Monogamy is difficult. Everyone knows that. Monogamy is a rather ancient notion and I do suppose it was more relevant when reciprocation was a neccessity. Marriage and the idea of 'till death do us part' was easier in the middle ages when people died at 50. Today we die at 80. Forever is a long time. It's funny, think of ancient Rome. Monogamy was not relevant then or even practiced. Slaves were forced to have sex with their dominus or domina, with each other, with the wives of their brothers. Human life held lesser meaning. Fidelity held no meaning at all. 

I think they were on to something, the Romans. They were wrong about a lot of things. But the prison of monogamy - they saw it and broke free from it. 

I love Sura. I would not cheat on her. Neither physically nor emotionally. I have not the need or the desire. Even as a gladiator in ancient Rome I would have tried my very best to stay faithful to her. But... I understand, Agron. You love Saxa, you love Duro, you do not wish to break up your beautiful family. But a human being has needs. If Saxa no longer fulfills those needs - "

"She does. I - there is no one. No one else. But if there was... you're saying you think it would be okay if it was only physical?"

"I never think lying or deceiving is okay. She should know, if there was someone."

"But don't you think it would hurt her more?"

"Agron, I won't tell you what you should do. We are all tempted and tested by many things in this life."

Agron nodded grimly. "I have been tempted. And it frightens me. What does it mean?"

"It means you're human. Love should not necessarily be limited to just one person. The idea of monogamy is basically that love should not get in the way of love, because then it'll kill love. Why is that, why do we think that love kills love? I think we as humans are capable of loving several people at once. And it's beautiful. Modern society would just not have it so. 

Monogamy wrongfully grants us the right to eat another person, to swallow them up whole. Skin and bones. It is institutionalised cannibalism, really. And it's the only thing society approves of."

Agron nodded, finding the metaphor relevant and true. "So you think it's possible to be in love with two people at the same time?" Agron didn't know if he was in love with two people. Perhaps he loved Saxa with his whole heart - but was _in_ love with Nasir? Perhaps Nasir was merely the attraction, excitement and danger sent to challenge monogamy, something that everyone was bound to face at one point in their relationship.

"I have not tried it. But I do think it's possible. Love is unlimited. I myself did not believe in monogamy until I met Sura. She changed everything for me, personally, but monogamy is still a relevant subject to discuss and question. Perhaps Saxa is not right for you anymore, perhaps she is."

"She is. She's everything." Agron was surprised at hearing his own voice break.

"Perhaps someone else is too?" Spartacus tilted his head, a look of concern in his eyes.

Agron met his eyes and shuddered at the weight of his words. He found a weird sense of comfort in them.

Spartacus swallowed hard and continued, "Agron, talk to Saxa. Tell her if your desire is to try an open relationship. It could work. Just do not lie or deceive her or go behind her back. She is a good woman."

"The best."

The two men turned silent and resumed the clicking of the keys on their keyboards.


	13. How Could You Leave Me When I Needed To Possess You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title courtesy of the great Kate Bush and her 'Wuthering Heights' :)

Spartacus' words and thoughts on monogamy resounded in Agron's head. It kept him awake at night. It gave him slight hope for himself, but stole his faith in relationships - perhaps even in human kind.

Would it be possible to alter the way people interacted with each other? Could a new form of relationship arise from a basic need of sexual polygamy? Or was the human need for monogomous security and stability an even stronger one?

People need people. Agron needed two of them.

Saxa was sound asleep beside him. Her beautiful features were relaxed and her lips slightly parted to let out sighs of contentment. 

Agron knew he had to see Nasir.

He checked the clock. Little past 11 pm. With his phone in his hand, he felt a compulsion to text Nasir.

He went to 'Messages' and stared at that blank space where his message was to come from. The desire to type in the words and send them to the other man was overwhelming, but the guilt even more so.

Agron chewed on a nail for a moment before he began swiping back and forth on his iPhone, searching for something to distract his thoughts.

And there it was. _Instagram_. Agron had never posted a single picture, but he knew Saxa was quite active in there. The purple-ish camera lens was staring at him and even though Agron despised the social media of self-promotion, he knew it was the place to be to be updated on... stuff.

Ah, yes. Spartacus and Sura had pulled pork for dinner. Vital information, naturally. And Gannicus got highlights in his hair 12 hours ago. 130 likes. Crucial. If Agron hadn't scrolled Instagram, he'd never have known of Gannicus' new highlights, and then he wouldn't have been able to compliment him on them tomorrow. And Naevia...

Agron stopped his scrolling. Naevia's latest post was a selfie of her and her best friend. "Sushi date with GBF #hishairisbetterthanmine".

Agron frowned. GBF? He remembered having heard Nasir use the term of endearment, but Agron was not familiar with its meaning. But indeed, Nasir's hair was better than hers. Better than anyone's.

Agron suddenly felt physically ill with yearning. And jealousy. Naevia had spent the entire day with Nasir. All Agron wanted was an hour, perhaps, just to explain and beg for forgiveness and understanding.

Agron tapped the picture once and made a "whoops"-sound of panic that he might accidently liked the picture. He didn't. Instead two names popped up on the picture, one on each face.

Naevia was tagged as her profile name, MrsCrixus ("Really?" Agron snorted), and next to her face was the name covering the beautiful smile of Nasir's: SyrianPrince.

Agron smiled at that. By giving himself that name, Nasir was embracing his past and his legacy - and also the fact that he was indeed a prince. At least as mesmerizing as one.

Agron clicked the link that transfered him onto SyrianPrince's profile, which was... private? No. A growl of frustration slipped past Agron's lips. He could see that Nasir had 352 followers and had posted 75 pictures, but Agron was not allowed to see a single one of them.

" _Verdammt_."

There was no way Agron could press the 'Follow' button. What wouldn't Nasir think of him? He would brand him a stalker. And pathetic and desperate. And Agron was all of the above. He briefly considered creating a fake profile, perhaps something artsy, and then ask for permission to follow. His fingers itched with an unfamiliar need to scroll through Nasir's pictures, to get into his life and mind in a different way than before. Agron felt he knew the other man quite well, but not like this. He didn't know when Nasir was having sushi with Naevia or cocktails with his study group or which kind of tags he liked to use - and Agron wanted to know. He wanted to know everything.

352 followers. That was alot. Wasn't it? It seemed like a lot. Agron had 38. Was Nasir the type of guy to post pictures of himself wearing nothing? He didn't seem like it. Maybe he was, though. Maybe most of the followers were guys - gay guys - taking all they could get, drinking up the exposing photos of what was rightfully Agron's. Right now, Nasir was more the property of his followers than of Agron's.

Nasir was not the property of anyone. Not a single one of those gay followers had the right to think that. They were probably out there right now, jacking off to one of Nasir's topless pictures. Probably tagged with #gayguy, probably with 2000 likes, probably...

"You can't sleep, Schatz?"

Agron's heart leapt to his throat and he dropped the phone, screen first, down onto the duvet.

Saxa was looking up at him through curtains of blonde hair, her features soft and her eyes merely small cracks.

"Sorry, love. I was just checking, uh... something. Go back to sleep. Ich liebe dich."

"Alright." She inched forward and placed a soft peck to his bicep. She then turned around and was fast asleep again within seconds. Agron knew this because he listened to her breathing change, before he dared bringing his phone back up to his face.

Fuck it, he thought. 'Follow'. The blue button changed to grey with the words 'Requested'.

Agron took a deep breath, put the phone on the night stand and got comfortable, ready for sleep. Within minutes, he was fumbling for his phone, his breathing rapid and his hands sweaty.

'Requested'. Agron tapped the button. Now it said 'Follow' again. Good. Then it was erased. Deleted. Agron had never requested a thing. But what if Nasir had still been notified of Agron's request? What if he was awake and had seen the request, but had purposely chosen to ignore it?

Agron's throat tied up and he wanted to cry with embarrasment. Social media were made in hell, he was sure of it now.

He should explain. Not just his outrageous behavior on that godforsaken media, but explain everything. He was back to 'Messages'.

 _I don't know what I'm doing. You know I don't. But I need you. Right now._

He swallowed the lump in his throat and hit 'Send'.

Nasir's reply came almost instantly. _On Instagram?_

Agron grimaced. _In life._

If it wasn't the truth.

_Can't._

_Can't?_

_Got school tomorrow. Also, I can't - with you._

Agron felt himself get irritated at this nonchalant reply. Nasir had every right to be angry, but Agron was trying to repent. If only Nasir would let him. 

_I don't even know what that means. Meet me. Please. Just for an hour._

Ten minutes passed. Agron almost - finally - dozed off, when his phone vibrated with what was basically his life line. 

_Where?_

-

They met by a park close to where Nasir's dorm was. Agron took the car and left a text on Saxa's phone, informing her that he had indeed been entirely unable to sleep and had gone for a run. 

Nasir was already there when Agron parked and got out of the car. He was dressed in a black hoodie and jeans, his hands in his pockets and his hair in a bun. He was wearing black round owl glasses and looked too tired to even stand.

Agron immediately felt bad for pulling Nasir out of bed at such a late hour, but when he came closer to the little man, he could smell his vanilla-scented shampoo, and all bad feelings went away.

Agron could finally breathe again. His heart slithered back into its rightful position and endorphines tingled throughout his veins.

They didn't hug, although Agron desperately wanted to - they just gazed at each other for a long time. 

"You wanted to see me?"

"Don't do that. Don't be like that," muttered Agron, pain evident in his voice. The idea that Nasir had only come because Agron wanted him to was too hard to bear. Agron knew in his heart that Nasir had come because he truly had wanted to come, that he had wanted to see Agron too.

"What am I being like?" Nasir raised his chin in that defiant way of his, and Agron wished they were back to New Year's Eve on that washing machine in each other's arms. Alcohol or not, Nasir had looked at Agron with affection once, and Agron would see that look in the little man's eyes yet again. 

"Shall we walk?" Agron gestured to the park's entrance. Even though it was dark, the park was beautifully lit up by Victorian inspired streetlamps on both sides of long, twisted grovel paths. The moon light was reflected in a small pond that ran through most of the park. Agron knew this from the times he had actually went for runs in there.

"In there? Isn't it dark - Like, jet black in there?"

They began their way through the park. They walked for a few minutes, silent by each other's sides when Nasir halted and came to a stop. 

"I'll look out for you," Agron turned and said seriously, and he meant it. He would slay anyone who would lay hand on Nasir. He almost had, with Castus.

Nasir frowned. " _You_... wouldn't hurt me - would you?"

And Agron died. Right there. His breath left his body. Nasir looked uncertain, innocent and scared, as if he actually believed Agron could ever harm him.

"If I would...?" Agron swallowed hard and blinked back tears. "Nasir, I... I - you have no idea, do you?"

"I don't know anything, because you never tell me anything. Tell me, Agron. Why am I here?"

"Would you have come here if you seriously, for one second, thought that I could ever hurt you? You _know_ why you're here. You _know_ what I'm feeling. I've missed you. I've missed you so much I've barely been able to breathe, to _live_. I need you. I need you in my arms, I need you underneath me, I need to be inside you, not just your body, but your mind - "

"That's right, Agron. You need to be inside my mind, controlling me and manipulating me and teasing me into thinking that I could ever have anything that resembles any kind of future with you. You're raising my hopes and destroying them just the same, and I'm done."

"Don't say that. I... Nasir, I think it's possible to be in love with two people at once."

"Really, Agron? Really? That's your way of declaring your love for me? I'm leaving."

"Stop. Let me finish. Maybe I wouldn't have to be without either of you. If I told her the truth, if I told her of my torn feelings... Monogamy is difficult, impossible almost. Many people live in open relationships. I could alter my relationship. The way her and I live together. I could be with you, too..."

"You're insane," Nasir shook his head and moved his glasses up into his hair. He pressed his palms to his eyes as if in disbelief of what he was laying ears to. 

"What do you want? Tell me what you want from me," pleaded Agron, his voice hoarse and desperate.

Nasir was silent, before he finally spoke. His eyes were red as he firmly said, "It's me... or her." 

Agron visibly cringed, his head falling back as if in a prayer to the stars to save him. 

"Forget about your outrageous views on polygamous relationships. That's not for me," Nasir said.

Agron sighed and raised his arms in surrender. "I'll tell her... I'll tell her, okay?"

"Tell her what?"

"That I..." Agron gritted his teeth as if in pain. "That I'm seeing someone else. That I... that I have feelings for someone else." 

Nasir's eyes were wet and glassy. "Are you gonna tell her it's a... that I'm a man?"

"What does it matter?" Agron cried.

"I'm sorry. It doesn't. I'm sorry."

The chirping of crickets around them grew almost silent, as both of the men's hearts seemed to stop along with time. 

"I hate you," Nasir whispered tearfully.

Agron nodded. "I know. And I know that you have every right to hate me. I also know that hate is not the only emotion you feel for me."

Nasir shook his head.

"So can I kiss you now?" 

Nasir nodded. 

Agron breathed a sigh of relief and closed the distance between them in a split second. 

Frantic lips on frantic lips, taste of salt and desperate hands grasping to get closer. Moans after months of yearning, months of being denied _this_ , this sharing of the same air.

Nasir was light as a feather, as always, and he almost dissapeared within Agron's arms, and Agron could feel Nasir clawing to get inside. They had to become as one. 

Agron let his hands slid inside Nasir's hoodie to feel burning hot skin and Nasir gasped.

"Please..." Nasir whispered as Agron wetly kissed his way down the little man's throat. 

"I know," Agron growled. "Ah..."

"A-gron..." Nasir's head fell back with a sigh and Agron's hand came up to support the back of his head, tugging gently on the soft, black strands of hair. His mind wandered to desires of having Nasir in an entirely different position, still tugging on that hair, but rougher, harder. 

Nasir's roommate wasn't home and within 15 minutes, Agron found himself in a dorm room like a lustful student in his early twenties, and he briefly wondered how many Nasir had had sex with in these sheets.

"I've missed you," Nasir sighed and all of Agron's worries vanished. Perhaps there hadn't been anyone else. Even if there had, Nasir had been missing _him_.

Agron responded with a ferocious groan of satisfaction with this notion and unbuckled his jeans. Nasir's hoodie and t-shirt underneath went flying across the room, and Agron attacked the other man's torso with his lips.

Nasir's hands slid through Agron's hair, his hands rougher and stronger than Saxa's ever were. Still remarkably smaller than Agron's though, they crawled down the neck and started pulling on the top of Agron's white t-shirt. Agron stood on his knees and pulled it off his head, and Nasir's eyes drank it all in with appreciation.

As he fell back on top of Nasir, Agron kissed the plumb lips awaiting him. Softly at first, pausing only to rest their foreheads against each other's, breathing hard and silently cherishing the moment.

Agron started grinding his hips, desperate for friction, and Nasir's tempting lips fell open and his eyes closed shut. Kissing again, Agron licked his way inside Nasir's mouth, the kisses turning desperate and aggressive, almost. Agron put his hand inside Nasir's jeans and started stroking him through the soft cotton of his tights. 

Nasir's moan was guttural, months of longing being expressed in that one sound that turned Agron mad with lust.

Their jeans and tights were discarded and their skin finally melted together. They were burning up, almost unable to breathe and Agron was pretty sure Nasir left bruises on him from frantic clasping: on his arms, his shoulders and thighs.

Agron was so hard he was dizzy, and with blood having entirely left his brain, there was nothing he could do but start pushing himself inside Nasir.

He was met with what felt like a brick wall, so he spit on his fingers, first wetting Nasir who whimpered with pleasure, and then himself, his hand shaky as he stroked his cock wet with saliva.

And then the head was inside, the shaft, and within seconds he was buried to the root, Nasir's face contorted in a mix of pain and a sort of pleasure that revealed itself in relief of not having felt Agron for too long.

"Am I hurting you?" Agron whispered and kissed Nasir's forehead, his cheek, his chin, his mouth. Nasir didn't kiss back immediately, it was as if he was concentrating hard on adjusting himself to Agron's size.

"I'm okay. Better than okay," Nasir replied and met Agron's lips in a passionate, slow kiss.

Agron started moving, slowly at first, then faster, and was shocked to find that he wasn't going to last for long.

Nasir was suppressing his cries, well aware of the hallway just outside full of sleeping students in rooms on either side.

He looked so good. His hair had come out of the hairband and was long and black, spread out behind him and down his shoulders. He was flushed red from face to chest and his lips were swollen, begging to be kissed once more. And so Agron kissed them, just a quick, breathless peck.

"I'm gonna come soon, Nasir," Agron whispered raspingly. The moment had been long overdue, and he hoped Nasir would understand.

And Nasir did. He was nodding, his breath coming in a staccato rhythm. "Come inside me."

It only occurred to Agron then that he wasn't wearing a condom. The reminder that he was barebacking Nasir pushed him over the edge, and the stars that he had prayed to earlier were now the only thing he was seeing.

"Mmh..." he groaned and buried his head in Nasir's neck as he rode out what was quite possibly the best orgasm of his life.

Nasir's stomach was wet and sticky with his own sperm, and Agron was pleased to find that neither of them had been able to hold their release back for long.

Agron rolled off, but kept Nasir close. He took him in his arms and brushed his hair away from his face. He kissed his forehead as they both slowly returned to normal breathing.

"I can't stay," Agron whispered in the dark after a few minutes.

"I know," Nasir nodded and placed a soft kiss to Agron's chest.

"But I won't let you down. I swear it. I'll tell her."

Nasir nodded, but said nothing. Agron knew that Nasir doubtlessly had to see it to believe it, and that was fair.

They kissed, passionately and wet, desperate for not separating, clinging to each other to the point where Agron almost felt himself get hard again.

"Thank you for meeting me," was the last thing he said before slipping out the door, and he was home not long after, only two hours after he had left his home.

He kissed Saxa goodbye in the morning and drove to work. He hadn't slept enough but he was high and giddy with satisfaction and joy of having had Nasir in his arms again.

Around lunch time, a dark cloud fell over his head as he remembered the promise he had made to Nasir. He _had_ to tell Saxa. As soon as possible. He would tell her tonight, after dinner when Duro was asleep.

He returned home that evening and shared a lovely meal with his family. His insides were a mess of fear and happiness, doubts but also certainty that he had to be with Nasir. They had to try to make it work. He couldn't be without him anymore.

He had been a liar, a cheater and unhappy for too long, and Saxa deserved to know. It was time.

Agron put Duro to bed as Saxa cleared the table, put the dishes in the dish washer and packed left-over food away in tupperware boxes. Agron went to her in the kitchen, kissed her lips and thanked her for a glorious meal. He popped open a beer for himself.

"A beer?" he asked his wife, before he closed the fridge.

"No, thank you, baby," she said.

Agron sat down and scratched his forehead, trying to force the words out of his mouth.

"There's something I have to tell you..."

"There's something I have to tell you..."

Agron and Saxa looked at each other, surprise on their faces at having said the exact same sentence synchronically.

Saxa laughed heartily. "You first."

"No, no," Agron said and went to her, taking a sip of his beer. "You go."

"Are you sure?" she said, her cheeks flushing red and her white teeth in a sparkling grin nearly blinding Agron.

"Okay..." she took his free hand and kissed him.

Agron frowned. "What is this about?" he smiled.

"Schatz... 

... I'm pregnant."

The bottle of beer slipped out of Agron's hand and smashed on the marble floor.


End file.
